| 3/31/2007 12:29:12 PM | Distant relationships? | | 
fragileheart
Uniontown, PA
age: 66
| Ive been involved for 4 yrs with a guy from Las Vegas and Im in Pennsylvania. We have only seen each other once in all that time but we talk on the phone daily..So far, for us, its okay. I dont see anyone else and if he does..I dont know about it and that would be his problem. What the future hold for us...I dont know..right now tho, we both have problems in our general area as to why we arent together..and Im okay with that, cause for the moment..my family has to come first.
| | 3/31/2007 2:40:45 PM | Distant relationships? | | singlennj
Budd Lake, NJ
age: 49
| I thought about topic a few years ago. Most of my relationships had been long distance to some degree or another. Most started or were 100+ mi apart with some of them eventually moving acceptably closer for one reason or another. It could have been a 1000 when I was younger and not making the money to afford the trip to often. The longest was 1,500 mi away. The distance became strained after a while and I really should have fought harder for it back then. I hadnt realized she felt the same way I did and we both let it get on our nerves.
Though you have to be sensitive to any warning signs. One was a complete disaster and from that one on I have kept things closer to home. But you never know what life will bring. If the right one came along, maybe. For now I am keeping things local.
[Edited 3/31/2007 2:42:11 PM]
| | 4/1/2007 11:26:58 AM | Distant relationships? | | 
sinfulcharming
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 41
| The first key to success with long distance relationships is effective communication. It is important for both parties to be able to feel that if they need to talk or write to the other person, communication will be welcomed and met with active communication from the other. The quality of the relationship is more likely to increase if both people develop the ability to share feelings openly with each other. The second key to success is a demonstrated commitment to the relationship by both parties. What kind of commitment, and how serious or light it is, will be different for different couples.
Being so far apart can be a scary and risky endeavor for most couples, so the third and fourth keys are a willingness to take risks, and the presence of a solid and secure trust between the two people. This doesn't mean that each person needs to skydive from a plane, but rather, that each will trust that the other person's social life in his or her own town will not be a threat to the relationship. Trust is so important that if it isn't strong, you can make a conscious effort to work on it, both on your own and together. This point leads to the fifth key, independence for each person, with a healthy level of dependence upon each other.
When these are present, there is a balance of power in the relationship between both people, and each person can be autonomous but still get emotional needs met by the other person. Furthermore, with an appropriate balance of independence and dependence, each person is allowed, even encouraged, to grow and change as an individual, which everyone needs. It is, therefore, wise not to expect that your partner or yourself will always stay exactly the same as when the relationship started.
When these aspects of the relationship are healthy, the sixth key element tends to be naturally present, a mutual respect. Finally, none of these other elements can offer the relationship success if the seventh key element is not there, clear expectations on the part of both people. It is so very important that you figure out your own personal expectations of the other person and the relationship, and then discuss them with the other person so that both of you are clear and/or can work out differences in expectations.
Without this, each person is working on a very different relationship than the other, and problems are likely. One final point about long distance relationships is that you make time together quality time, and build in some alone time during visits. Do things that draw the two of you closer, rather than emphasize the distance between you.
~Sin
| | 4/2/2007 2:15:01 AM | Distant relationships? | | brocknct
Newcomerstown, OH
age: 31
| Being a gamer for years, I have heard many stories of long distance relationships working, have had dear friends fall in love over the internet, through a game and end up getting married IRL. Of course saddly, have lost contact with alot of them, but do have those that end up finding me every couple years, in one game or another and chatting for a bit before dissapearing again.
LD relationships are not for me, every LD relationship I have tried has ended up with the realization that she just wanted someone her hubby/boyfriend wouldn't find out about. Though have made some very good friends over long distances, some I have met face to face and others that we just go from game to game with each other.
| | 4/2/2007 9:58:39 PM | Distant relationships? | | taita25
Bronx, NY
age: 39
| Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but too much absence makes the heart go wander
| | 4/2/2007 10:08:11 PM | Distant relationships? | | ltrminded
Stroudsburg, PA
age: 52
| Bravo, Tiata, 100%.
| | 5/1/2007 6:20:25 PM | Distant relationships? | | avidreaderang
Morton, PA
age: 50
| I think that one person usually ends up wanting more. And this is then the beginning of the end. Very difficult to work the distance thing out. You can IM, send emails, visit via webcam, but long and short of it is that a relationship (verses friendship) requires intimacy.
| | 5/25/2007 3:15:18 PM | Distant relationships? | | guenavere
Hemet, CA
age: 62
| I don't think they do. You can't spend a lot of quality time together unless you have a lot of money and can travel back and forth. You can't really get to know each other without that quality time. Would you want to pick up everything and move to be near someone you barely know and only know by being on line>
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