| 11/17/2007 12:58:58 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
la_sad_girl
Antioch, CA
age: 30
| My husband & I married 6 yrs. (spararted 1 1/2 ) beacuse he started using drugs.
I still love each other & i would take him back ...if he changed. after many problems i realized that i deserve better . Still loving him, im trying to live life.
I have gone all this time not responding to his calls,no communication.Part of me feels like i am abandoning him in this time of need, but i can't stay stuck in this situation.
DOES THIS MAKE ME A BAD CRISTIAN FOR NOT HELPING HIM THROUGH THIS TIME IN HIS LIFE?
IS THERE A DIFFERENCE IN HELPING A HUSBAND, FATHER, BROTHER,OR SON???
PLEASE HELP ME WITH YOUR THOUGHTS
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| 11/17/2007 1:32:40 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
lynn456
Martinsburg, WV
age: 39
| myself being a former drug addict he can only help himself.you need to move on.did god stop jesus from being crusified,did god stop satan from testing job.he will have to go through something life changing in order to see the light.
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| 11/17/2007 1:36:02 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
holdinpanama
Panama City, FL
age: 44
| he is hanging around "friends" that is selling him the drugs.myself a ex crack head quit hanging around people that smoked crack and i quit have been claen for 8 years.he has got to want to quit.
[Edited 11/17/2007 1:36:19 PM]
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| 11/17/2007 1:44:47 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
la_sad_girl
Antioch, CA
age: 30
| I understand only he can change his life. but what if this were someone else?
We dont know what lies ahead in life, what if this were my son?
Should a mother help her child? Should a wife help her husband?
I still want to help , is there anything i can do?
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| 11/17/2007 1:49:07 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
holdinpanama
Panama City, FL
age: 44
| hes got to want help until that no he has get away from the surrondings he is in.i know you don't want to here that but he loves drugs more than you and thats the sad part
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| 11/17/2007 1:49:29 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
jewelz5
Monteagle, TN
age: 53
| No it does not make you a bad christian, that is a guilt trip you don't need. If you still love each other then you can work through it...its just a temporary situation...temporary is relative of course...though it does take two, help him yet don't dissable his self responsility...you need to cooperate with one another...you don't need to babysit him...he needs to learn somethings within himself like the rest of us. If you love each other then I say hang with it....give him a call back if you want and tell him you will work with him if that is what he wants to do...if not then get on with a new life...it is forever changing and there is always always another opportunity...when one door closes another one opens...
What kind of drugs is he doing?...hard drugs?... or smoking weed and drinking?
Yes absolutely a wife should help her husband for christ sake thats why you are his wife.
[Edited 11/17/2007 1:51:11 PM]
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| 11/17/2007 2:00:25 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
la_sad_girl
Antioch, CA
age: 30
| He's on meth, not only that he sells too. He's done alot of stupid things.
I just have to let both our lives lve their course, I might leave my "friendship door open".
I'm hoping i won't regret it
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| 11/17/2007 2:04:15 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
holdinpanama
Panama City, FL
age: 44
| have you seen before and after pictures people who smoke meth or even shoot it.you need to go online see it you will close your door immediately
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| 11/17/2007 2:18:02 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
jewelz5
Monteagle, TN
age: 53
| Well you can deal with the stupid things... he just needs to staighten up so he quits doing them at some point. You are in no position nor do you need to make any of lifes decisions right now, because its one day at a time anyway. As the saying goes, you can make plans but don't plan the results...if you move on in your life you might be on the lookout for the same thing you attracted before, because what you don't deal with now within yourself on a conscious level will show up in your life as fate.
We are mirrors of each other...if you try to run from something it will show up again in someone else...I'm not saying it would show up as a drug problem either...There is a saying...if you have the pain, then you have the problem...People get into relationships for alot of wrong reasons...they are to help accelerate our own spiritual growth, it is not about the other person whom you may want to point the finger at. Look in the mirror first...if you really love him then go drag his ass home and tie him to a chair and tell him how its going to be until he can think straight on his own enough to become the head of his house again. You need to take the rains and tell him what you want him to do...with as much love kindness and understanding though you need to be strong in your mind about what you really want.
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| 11/17/2007 2:22:06 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
lynn456
Martinsburg, WV
age: 39
| meth is like a cancer it is an epidemic in the drug world.i hope he changes children do not need to see it.
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| 11/17/2007 2:38:35 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
la_sad_girl
Antioch, CA
age: 30
| I think you make sense. I have realized that i have become a stronger person since we parted, and either way reconsiling with him or moving on with my life i am in a "healthier" place. I must focus on my self first.
Thanks alot, i feel better
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| 11/17/2007 2:40:13 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
holdinpanama
Panama City, FL
age: 44
| you have to think about you because he doesn't
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| 11/17/2007 2:42:53 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
swcw25
Woonsocket, RI
age: 49
| Lasad.....I never thought I would be saying something like this but.....LISTEN to EVERYTHING Jewelz just told you!!!!
My husband divorced me while I was in residential treatment for alcohol,because his therapist convinced him that I would never straighten out.We REALLY loved each other,but I am a chronic alcoholic and it took me 3 yrs of almost continuous rehabs,detoxes and hospitals to get clean.He gave up on me and it is such a tragic thing because if he could have held out a little longer we would be sharing the rest of our lifes together,pretty darn happily.Not to mention that it tore up a very solid family.
If there is ANYTHING I can do to help you or your husband,please feel free to mail me.What others are telling you is true...he will not stop until he is ready,but like Jewelz said....MAKE him want to be ready....tell him EXACTLY what you need him to do and hopefully he will seek help....make it clear that you will NOT enable him to use drugs,and it will not be tolerated what so ever!!!
Anyhoot..thats my opinions,its kind of strong I know,Im sorry,but I would hate to see either one of you make the same mistakes,me and my ex made.
.....peace,mary
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| 11/17/2007 2:43:51 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
la_sad_girl
Antioch, CA
age: 30
| Do you mind me asking... how hard was it to stop using? Did you relapse?
I know that there's no way for me to fully understand, i just dont know other people who have or have had these issues?
If you dont what to answer, thats ok!
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| 11/17/2007 2:47:52 PM | Do you always help a someone in need ? | |
lynn456
Martinsburg, WV
age: 39
| you are only 30 and you have a lifetime ahead of you.i stopped smoking weed and cigarettes because i started coughing up blood,at that time my son was 2 and it made me think do i want to die and never get to see my son grow up.it messed my lungs up lost 20% lung capacity i have been clean since feb 15 2002.i got rid of all my friends i had then because they were bringing that temptation.
[Edited 11/17/2007 2:54:25 PM]
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