Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????

11/26/2007 11:07:47 PM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
cntry8hrt Hermiston, OR age: 52	Hi, Since revealing my recently acquired profession to both men I have known for years and those whom I have just met that don't even know my name yet, I have had many an interesting situation cross my path and as a result, come to a few basic conclusions. I found the length of time I might or might not have known someone is not relevant in this situation because what I was doing to work towards accomplishing a dream of mine was kept secret until it could no longer be kept a secret. For a few years I had been dabbling in poetry and writing short stories, I finally took someone up on a dare to have one of my short stories published. He thought it was fantastic, I thought it was no big deal. I wrote just for the pleasure and relaxation it gave me. to make a long story short, the manuscript I submitted was published and the book itself recently came out. This is what has happened. Only one person in my family still talks to me and she is in shcok never believing I could write a book, the man I was in a relationship with while I was dabbling with my poetry always blew me off as what I was doing as nothing important and nothing would ever come of it, but talks to me now once he foudn out the book deal was serious and is even promoting it for me. Male friends that I have known for years are no longer talking to me. Men that I meet in a group of people and we are all strangers having casual chit chat, instantly make an excuse to leave the group when it comes my turn to share what I do. The only male left talking to me that is a friend keeps telling me not to write my next book about him. I think you get the picture by now. SOOOOOOO, my questions is: "WHY IS IT MEN RUN LIKE THEIR FEET WERE SLIPPING ON OIL GOING DOWNHILL WHEN THEY FIND OUT MY WORKING TOOL IS A PEN? I have to ask myself "WHAT ARE THEY AFRAID OF BEING REVEALED? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING? JUST WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM"? See, I have already been doing some research into this and they don't seem to have anything in common. They come from different professions of varying wages. They are range in age from twenties to seventies. Even their physical looks vary like each snowflake that falls. One can't even say it is because they are all men because the reaction has been the same from women although I must admit, it doesn't happen in the frequency that it does with men. If anyone can lend any insight into this situation I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks for stopping by.
11/27/2007 12:50:11 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
shellback069 Denton, TX age: 34	well my opinion is that a lot of people are vain and self centered. if you are writing then surely i must be the source of inspiration! god forbid you might find out any secrets i have and put them up in print!! that is usually what most people would be thinking. i'm not sure what kind of stories you write or what your muse is when you begin writing but that would seem to be the reason most people would shy away from you. remember, the pen is mightier than the sword! JMO
11/27/2007 7:08:05 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
craftygirl002 Tacoma, WA age: 40	I would guess the reasons are varied. Shellback's opinion probably explains why some people shy away from you. Other reasons could be in how you present what you do, the kind of things you write about, etc. Since the people involved are as different as snowflakes, their reasons for shying away are probably just as varied. Now that you have come to the conclusion that people will lose interest in you because of what you do, you may be doing something subconsiously that pushes them away. The simple fact of the matter is that you won't find the answers you seek here. All we can do is guess. You would have to ask the people involved. Perhaps there are some people in your life that you could talk to openly about the subject.
11/27/2007 7:23:43 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
nopretense Harleysville, PA age: 48	Congratulations on publishing a book! With all due respect, I don't really believe that people would shy away from someone just because they are a writer. I would expect the opposite response. What kind of writing do you do? What is the title of your book? When you tell people what you do, how do you explain it, what do you say about it?
11/27/2007 7:36:27 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
craftygirl002 Tacoma, WA age: 40	Very good point, nopretense. I was thinking along the same lines. Although, I dated a writer for a short time and did end up walking away. He had mentioned a previous girlfriend during the time we were dating. When he gave me a signed copy of one of his books, the first chapter was an explicitly detailed account of the first time they had sex. He even used her real name. Since I'm a private person, I decided to walk away rather than end up as a character in one of his books.
11/27/2007 7:39:10 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
nopretense Harleysville, PA age: 48	Without her permission? It sounds like you didn't walk away because he was a writer...you walked away because he was a jerk.
11/27/2007 7:41:38 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
winesong Bend, OR age: 61	AS I recall, you live in a small town, (I have been there) where many people know each other by name, or association. Please do tell us the nature of your book...perhaps we should look for it! Is your book at Barnes Nobel? Private publisher at a boutique type of store? Adult store? Something comes across as not for the family coffee table. Just guessing, by people avoiding you that are of various ages, and walks of life. I gather it is not about cooking, hOliday tree decorating and preparing feasts. Perhaps it might be a romantic thriller, with gourmet servings. lol Inquiring minds are waiting to know more. Wine
11/27/2007 8:04:53 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
jondalar Reno, NV age: 54	Without knowing what type of book you have written it would be hard to discuss their fears. I think all things are part of our percetions and there may be other reasons that those men hold within themselves that make them shrink from your presance or turn away. I have inspired poems and been the muse for creativity in many forms. I think it is a great honor to inspire a thought in another and to have the thought take form in word, clay, dance or paint is a privilage. The vision of dream steelers in the shadows enters my minds eye. Give no thought to those who cannot celibrate your accomplishments. I say let them fall away like dead and dried leaves, let them blow in the winds of their own lack. Turn from the dream steelers that lurk in the shadows of their own making and embrace those who chant your name in praise.
11/27/2007 9:44:50 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
cntry8hrt Hermiston, OR age: 52	Hi, I hope I am doing this right here. I have never been involved in a site like this, but I do find it very insightful. I would like to reply to everyone who has written so far. That would include the following people: shellback069, craftygirl002,no pretense, winesong, and jondalar. It was mentioned that I wouldn't find the answers I seek by writing here, but after reading the responses so far, I can feel the answers or reaffirmations of my own thoughts coming out. Very honest questions and good points have been made, so I will do my best to respond back. I agree, the pen is mightier than the sword and it is for that very reason I have taken so long to let anyone become aware of my writings. My muse comes from a variety of sources. I definitely can't write on demand. It is a good thing I don't have to write for a magazine where there are deadlines. My desire to write can come from me just watching TV and a thought flits through my mind totally unrelated to what I am watching or at times it brings back a memory from my childhood, whether it be happy or sad and a poem of sorts ends up on my lap top. At other times, my writings happen from sitting in nature and watching a leaf fall to the ground or observing an animal playing or eating. Other times it comes from a personal experience I have had, happy or sad. I just get this feeling inside me that demands to be released onto paper. After I am done writing, I take a deep breath and feel more settled in my own mind and I have a sense of peace. When I write though, it is never directed toward anyone specific. I feel there is enough maliciousness in this world that I don't have to add to it and cause more pain and suffering. I want my writings to inspire others, to give them hope and to have dreams, and to give them a feeling of being special and the strength to get through hard times. Nopretense - thank you. I have gotten some responses like you would expect. They come from people who give a genuine reaction of happiness and awe when they find out what I have done. It can be overwhelming actually and those are the "good people" in life. They are the ones without an agenda to know me because of financial gain I can provide to them. I have just been overwhelmed lately by people that come from the "other side", the ones that run away. I do a variety of writings. I have written many poems, some of which have been put online at poetry.com. Some of the people that know me keep asking when I am going to put them into book form and have them published. I have written short, funny stories about adventures in life and I have written short romance stories, all of which are fictional. All of this stuff sits in my lap top waiting for more things to be added to them until I have enough for a book. The book I have gotten published is a short, fictional, drama story. The inspiration for it came from hearing about things that have happened to people in life that were less than pleasant and they would always tell me they had bounced back. I got to thinking one day "what if they were unable to bounce back from a bad situation without help from others" and the words started flowing onto my lap top. I added a couple of my poems to the book and a good dose of hope that anyone who reads this can relate to something in it and it helps their life become more positive. So, I guess you can say I write about anything. The title of my book is called "Sudden Standstill" Right now it is listed at the publisher's web site and within six weeks or so, it will be available over many other book stores, both online and in bookstores. The publisher's web site address is: www.publishamerica.com. Click on the online book store tab and enter the book title in the search box and it should bring up all the information you seek. When I tell people what I do, I give a generalized description. I tell them I have worn many hats as professions including the medical field and have dabbled my hand in writing. If they ask, I then tell them I have been fortunate enough to have a book published. I don't like to emphasize on what I do. I like a conversation to happen in which the other person is feeling comfortable. There is just something about the "write hat" that makes some uncomfortable. I think it would be safe to say my book is not something for the family coffee table. There is no sexual content, "adult" rating in it. It is just that some of the content would be hard for children to understand only because they have not been exposed to it in life. I am not going to give you a synopsis of the book here, you will find that on the web site. The people that have run the other way, haven't taken the time to find out what the book is about, so I know it isn't the content that makes them uncomfortable. It looks like I have written a chapter here. Goodness, I truely did not mean to. You all asked very good questions and made very good points on things that I hope I have been able to answer everything. In closing I would like to say thank you to everyone. Thank you for pulling me back from the down spot the dream stealers took me to. I look forward to future discussions on here and I wish everyone many happy days and nights.
11/27/2007 9:46:14 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
soultrynights San Clemente, CA age: 39	dam what r u tring to do ...write a book on here ? gee wiz
11/27/2007 10:27:22 AM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
skunkbreath Saint James, MO age: 89	soul is right... it aint your tool, it is how much you use it...do you also speak 600 wpm?
11/28/2007 9:54:28 PM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
writerman57 Jacksonville, FL age: 58	Well the problem is not your profession but the people that you have hung around with. Obviusly, they are not intellectuals and feel threatened by one who is, especially when they thought that you were just as ignorant as them, if you hang with intellectuals, they will not at all feel threatened but will be interested. I too am a writer and have had several things published and paid for and no one has ever shied away from me because of it, but I hang with different people. I also found my true love on this site and she is a writer who just got a multi book deal to write romance novels. I am so proud of her and all of her people are proud of her and have not shied away but have supported her. What makes it amazing is that she is a first time unpublished writer and they just don't give multi book deals to first timers, shows you how good she is. She is better at writing than I and I am in no way threatened by it but I am instead tremenously proud of her and supportive of her. CHANGE YOUR PEOPLE
11/28/2007 9:59:50 PM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
jondalar Reno, NV age: 54	It is about the people you hang with as writterman said. just like on this site The one liner topics are usually in sex and dating. If someone post too much for some to read, don't read it. I think part of the conversation here might have been about guys who can not hang with a woman who is expressing her thoughts or talking for a reason other than for a mans entertainment. [Edited 11/28/2007 10:06:10 PM]
11/29/2007 7:37:11 PM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
cntry8hrt Hermiston, OR age: 52	Writerman, Congratulations to you and your wife. I think it is wonderful to be able to share one's accomplishments in life with a special someone. thank you for your comments. I had come to the same and similar conclusions as you when it came to the people I had encountered after writing this book. I had thought I had become a little bit too much judgemental about people in general. But I have to keep in mind I was going through a personal problem at the time - torn rotator cuff - and I let it make me doubt myself and what I had done. It feels good to know my thoughts were not out of prospective for the situation. Continued good luck to you and your wife.
11/29/2007 7:42:49 PM	Why do men run away when they hear a woman 's working tool is????
cntry8hrt Hermiston, OR age: 52	Jondalar, Thanks for the reassurance. I have noticed that with a lot of people, male or female, that if you get into a topic that is not basic sex related and takes some actual thought, I was accused of analyzing the situation too much. And I have to sit back and smile and quietly laugh to myself and wonder how much people are missing out on in life when they don't take the time to learn more about the actual person and relationships at a deeper level. I got a phone call last night from someone that was very surprised I had written a book and gotten published. They had to admit they never took the time to learn more about me as a person. They said I just didn't look like the kind of person that could or would do something like this. Hmmmmmmmm - I know I am a quiet person in general, but am I that quiet??