Forums: Relationships: need some feedback!!!!!!
12/1/2007 12:28:39 AMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

jrrygrss
Bettendorf, IA
age: 53

i have a friend or(girlfriend) just dont know any more. but she is in wis> and i live in il (molne) and for the past 4 years she would come down to see me and so i could see my daughter i would go half on the gas for her to get down here and half to get back up to her place. ok well it was asked about getting a place together and she said ok that was fine well we had 5 places that we could of moved in to but she never called them back or nothing and she didnt come down for a year and keeped giving a lame excuse why she was not comeing down. now that was 2-3 years ago now she is doing it again its been going on 3 months this time. what really bugs me is that my daughter is not able to see her dad. and what is weird is we talk on the phone everyday (she acts like nothing is wrong) just like to get some feed back on this, what is a person to do???? oh forgot we have been knowing each other for 7 1/2 years

12/1/2007 5:46:36 AMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

novastar12
Artesia, NM
age: 58

First thing I see right away is that you don't mention anything about yourself going to see her. It's nice that you give her money for gas, but that is not really meeting her halfway. If this relationship has been going on like this for over 7 years and no bond has been formed, I'd say either move up there with her or forget her. She seems to be content where she is and may just decide to stay that way.

12/1/2007 6:58:51 AMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

uptoc
Castle Rock, CO
age: 48

JMO..I'd say she's sending a pretty clear msg that enough is enough but for the sake of your daughter these strings would have been cut long ago.

12/1/2007 8:25:52 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

jrrygrss
Bettendorf, IA
age: 53

thanks novastar12 and uptoc for the answer. but as far as me going up there that is not posible its a long story but no we go 50/50 on everything except i buy dinner for them and that is great dont mind that iam more than happy to do that. ok again thanks jerry

12/2/2007 3:39:07 AMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53

I agree if your not willing to go to her once in a while that drive can get tiring..unless you cant leave Il do to probation..but it sounds to me as though she isnt interested in a relationship.

12/2/2007 2:05:11 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

jrrygrss
Bettendorf, IA
age: 53

no it is not because of being on probation,and it is not because i dont want to the thing is i lost my car because of her and got another one and it went bad, its not too easy to do things when you are on ssdi but i do hear what you are saying thanks

12/2/2007 2:09:47 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

stellablue
Saint Louis, MO
age: 50

I would put your daughter first. Go through the court, pay child support, get visitation...and if anything happens with her mom...icing on the cake.

12/2/2007 2:30:14 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

softnlovely
Lansing, MI
age: 51

i'v been dating this cuy, who recently gotten out jail after been lock up for 3yrs. He had no place to live, so he said. I let him moved in after 4mo. We stayed together until sept. Now he lives with his brother,I have no ideal where that is, no hm. # only cell#.
We don't see each other that much nor talk to each other unless he needs something from me. I care about him very much and want things to work out, but he act it's everything is okay. I fixed a Thanksgiving dinner for him and his dad, only to be left alone after they ate. He won't have sexs, always saying he's too tried after working 12hrs. Or that's all that I want from him. I tried to get him to talk to me about our issues but he can never do that. I'm at the point now i just want to leave him alone and move on the minute I do here he comes. He says things like let do this or that. But when the time comes he's nowhere to be found or he don't have any money. I need help. I even ask him what are we doing, I don't know he repley. Than he says your my girlfreind. He's been knowed to do drugs and I really belived he's using something, but when confronted
he get pissed and leave, says he's not comfortable at my house any more. What should I do. Need some advice

12/2/2007 3:42:46 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

jrrygrss
Bettendorf, IA
age: 53

thank you stellablue for the answer. ever since the 7 year old was born we made a agreement that i would see her once a month and pay half the expenses for her coming down but it has been more than that which i dont mind and she gets 4 times as much more from my ssdi then she would from child support. yes i know it should of been in writing and by the court but i trusted her and belived in her. damn i just wish people would just treat each other with respect. but that dont happen that way but anyway thanks stellablue

12/2/2007 3:42:55 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

cricket32
Crawfordsville, IN
age: 32

The girl doesnt sound like she plans on moving, and after 7 years why havent you?





softanlovely I would cut my losses before you really get hurt violently or finacially. the defensive attitude towards the drugs is a big clue that he prolly is using.

12/2/2007 4:32:56 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47

cricket32 got some good advise

12/2/2007 4:40:24 PMneed some feedback!!!!!! 

novastar12
Artesia, NM
age: 58

softanlovely, anyone who has to seek happiness in life using drugs or alcohol is not the kind of man you need in your life. He will only bring you down in time and it sounds like he a bit of a control freak. Leave him, despite what you may feel for him now, before it's too late. I can tell by your post that you have a lot to offer the right man. This dude is not the one! Search your soul for answers and I am sure you will find that what has been told to you in this thread by the others who care about you is true. Stand tall and move on. You can do better. I know you can.