chocolateberry
Long Beach, CA
age: 21
| A man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes!He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably damned dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."To which the wife responds, "He wasn' t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."
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soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 39
| good one choclate 
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kinjahro
Beaverton, OR
age: 21
| a guy committed one of the most disgusting crimes. He broke into a house and raped a woman. After he had finished he escaped. It took the authorities two years to capture him. He was brought to trial and the woman testified against him. he was convicted. Before sentencing the judge asked him if he wished to say anything to the court before he rendered his verdict. The prisoner replied, "Yes sir". He stood up and began to tell the court that he was a religious man. Everyone in the courtroom gasped. He said your Honor I was only following the the commandments. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
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blkgntlmn25
Nashville, TN
age: 26
| i wasn't sure where this joke was going, but it was funny as hell, no doubt.
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