| 10/26/2009 5:14:06 PM | Ready to call it quits | | 
dateable1
Berea, KY
age: 45
| Have you ever gotten to the point where you are ready to just be single for the rest of your life? I've been out with guys I normally wouldn't date, trying to "expand my horizons" and things go well for the first couple of dates. Then the guy usually wants to tell me he loves me after only two or three dates. What's up with that? I thought only women did that. Are the guys out there these days so eager to get married or live together right away?
Don't get me wrong, I would love to get married again some day but think it requires more than two or three dates to go there. Maybe I should just quit trying and just be single.  
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| 10/26/2009 5:15:30 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
i_am_bill
Astatula, FL
age: 50 online now!
| It's not so bad being single. Bill
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| 10/26/2009 5:17:24 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
ladydi780
West New York, NJ
age: 50
| I think you have to go with your gut on how you feel..If you need a break to refocus do it ..Sometimes it helps ...Good luck !
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| 10/26/2009 5:17:35 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
dateable1
Berea, KY
age: 45
| Hey Bill.
Most of the time it's not. There are both good and bad to being single and being in a relationship. I'm beginning to think being single far outweighs the alternative.
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| 10/26/2009 5:18:17 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
surrealone
Overland Park, KS
age: 39
| Sometimes it's good to be by yourself for a while. Once you're comfortable alone you're that much better when with others...
-- SR1
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| 10/26/2009 5:19:26 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
torisdad
Louisville, KY
age: 42
| It's not so bad being single. Bill
I agree. I'm starting to enjoy it.
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| 10/26/2009 5:19:28 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
waterloo_sunset
Coram, NY
age: 51
| Have you ever gotten to the point where you are ready to just be single for the rest of your life? I've been out with guys I normally wouldn't date, trying to "expand my horizons" and things go well for the first couple of dates. Then the guy usually wants to tell me he loves me after only two or three dates. What's up with that? I thought only women did that. Are the guys out there these days so eager to get married or live together right away?
Don't get me wrong, I would love to get married again some day but think it requires more than two or three dates to go there. Maybe I should just quit trying and just be single.
If I had to guess I'd say they are either desperate to get laid or are desperate to find love. Either option is not very attractive.
As far as your initial question, I'm already there. If I meet someone fine, if not I'm perfectly content in solitude. I'd rather be alone and happy than together with someone and miserable or merely existing.
[Edited 10/26/2009 5:20:16 PM PST]
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| 10/26/2009 5:19:47 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
happyface46
Ekeren
Belgium
age: 47
| Everyone should take a break when they need it. People give you such a hard time when you do. 
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| 10/26/2009 5:20:46 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
stasisbane
Irondale, MO
age: 39
| Nope, hang in there.
Quite a few of us have these slumps, and date a few undiserables.
Best I can tell ya is just enjoy going out doing things you like, and let things happen on their own.
I do feel for ya,it can be a pain sometimes. Best of luck.
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| 10/26/2009 5:21:16 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
dateable1
Berea, KY
age: 45
| If I had to guess I'd say they are either desperate to get laid or are desperate to find love. Either option is not very attractive.
As far as your initial question, I'm already there. If I meet someone fine, if not I'm perfectly content in solitude. I'd rather be alone and happy than together with someone and miserable or merely existing.
Thanks for those words. I feel the same and need to keep my focus on that.
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| 10/26/2009 5:23:41 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
crzyblubttrfly
Fort Smith, AR
age: 50
| Call it a break not quits. I also meet the instant love types and am disappointed when it seems they are clueless about a deep kinda love. There are all kinds od things in life to do besides date. I think it makes you a better match when there isn't so much tunnel vision.If you got your health that's really plenty, the rest is just icing on the cake!!
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| 10/26/2009 5:30:41 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
life2short6
Granbury, TX
age: 54
| My philosophy is learn to be happy by yourself. Then if the right one comes along, well, it's all good.
Heck, I've been by myself even when I was married.
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| 10/26/2009 5:34:00 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
petron
Garland, TX
age: 48 online now!
| Sometimes it's good to be by yourself for a while. Once you're comfortable alone you're that much better when with others...
-- SR1
starting to wonder if i was the only one. i agree...
you have to be selfish to be generous.....
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| 10/26/2009 5:34:52 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
dateable1
Berea, KY
age: 45
| Did you even read my original post? I'm not the one with the marriage obsession. It's all the guys I've been out with the past four or five years.
Dating is something I do for a while then get tired of meeting all the wrong guys for me and take a break, focus on my daughter, work or hanging out with friends. After several months of not dating at all, I try it again and it seems to be the same story. The guy wants to move way too fast, way too soon.
I don't mean to complain but geesh! What ever happened to just getting to know each other?
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| 10/26/2009 5:38:07 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
patsfan70
Norwood, MA
age: 39
| I wait at least one week before asking for Marriage.
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| 10/26/2009 5:51:24 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
wildbluemist
Battle Mountain, NV
age: 48
| Stop going out with men who are desperate. 
Don't wait for a man to contact you...Hit them over the head and say:Hey are single if you are take me out now stupid and try not to piss me off before you take me home.
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| 10/26/2009 5:53:25 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
dateable1
Berea, KY
age: 45
| Thanks for the laugh. That was great. I'm really not as hateful as this post is coming across. I'm just frustrated. I've been single for a VERY long time and have taken many long breaks between dating.
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| 10/26/2009 6:00:51 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
ylekiot
Stateline, NV
age: 53
| Thanks for the laugh. That was great. I'm really not as hateful as this post is coming across. I'm just frustrated. I've been single for a VERY long time and have taken many long breaks between dating.
Don't feel too badly. It's been so long for me that the last time I went out on a date, when we got to the restaurant and the maitre'd asked "do you have reservations?", I replied "about what?"
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| 10/26/2009 6:08:48 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
happylisa
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 44
| Don't settle but do go out and have fun. If a guy wants to get married after 2 dates, laugh it off and ask him if he is really serious or he just wants to get laid..lol. Dont take life too seriously when you go out on these dates. Maybe you can weed out the non serious ones first by emails, chats and phone conversations before you go out on a date with them.
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| 10/26/2009 6:14:38 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
petron
Garland, TX
age: 48 online now!
| Thanks for the laugh. That was great. I'm really not as hateful as this post is coming across. I'm just frustrated. I've been single for a VERY long time and have taken many long breaks between dating.
don't give up, dateable. the old saying, 'one bad apple' ...or maybe in your case maybe the whole bushel. 
we aren't all that way.
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| 10/26/2009 6:21:42 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
steven030463
Newton Falls, OH
age: 47
| I've been there a few times just giving up that search. Its very hard for me because i don't go out that much and thats my choice, plus where I live, there's not too many places to go to. I feel like you OP. There's not too many people out there where I live and the dating sites scare the shit out of me sometimes. Its always a big chance your taking, and most the time it goes sour.
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| 10/26/2009 6:22:42 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
cinthianna01
Goshen, IN
age: 90
| Quote from ylekiot Don't feel too badly. It's been so long for me that the last time I went out on a date, when we got to the restaurant and the maitre'd asked "do you have reservations?", I replied "about what?"
That was just funny!
On Topic: Everyone has their moments, the point is to keep them at just being moments, look at the overall scope of things, are you happy with your life in gneral? If so, enjoy it and don't put so much focus on finding perfection.....eventually, it'll find you, like two trains colliding
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| 10/26/2009 6:37:18 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
krasota23
Albuquerque, NM
age: 59
| My philosophy is learn to be happy by yourself. Then if the right one comes along, well, it's all good.
Heck, I've been by myself even when I was married.
 You are so right.If we are not happy with ourselves , how we can be happy with somebody else. With the time I realized that happiness is a state of mind.
It's better to live alone then to feel lonely staying in a relationship with a wrong person...
If it's meant to meet someone who will compliment us and we will compliment them , it will happen anyway.
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| 10/26/2009 7:02:52 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
stoneowl
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 51
| Have you ever gotten to the point where you are ready to just be single for the rest of your life? I've been out with guys I normally wouldn't date, trying to "expand my horizons" and things go well for the first couple of dates. Then the guy usually wants to tell me he loves me after only two or three dates. What's up with that? I thought only women did that. Are the guys out there these days so eager to get married or live together right away?
Don't get me wrong, I would love to get married again some day but think it requires more than two or three dates to go there. Maybe I should just quit trying and just be single.
I'm new here, and have undergone some soul-searching only to realize I'm not datable material(for reasons made claer in blog and profile).
So...yes, I'm gonna be a single man for th' duration, for sure...might as well suck it up and make the best of what I can achieve. I'm just living for my art, my personal studies and to do school outreach progreams--it has its' own rewards, and is no different than the last 4 years have been--without a partner! 
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| 10/26/2009 7:08:17 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
justforums2010
Philadelphia, PA
age: 28
| The guys are probably eager to say "I love you" because maybe you're the first female who has been nice to them in a very long time. Some men give lots of credit to females who aren't reluctant to date, and are willing to spend time with him. But don't quit. Keep trying.
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| 10/26/2009 7:10:55 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
petron
Garland, TX
age: 48 online now!
| ya know...for all the humor i've found here, i've also looked at life through other's eyes. sometimes I can laugh at what people write, but other times I find wisdom in what people write.
never tap out.
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| 10/26/2009 7:14:49 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
cbr913
Lexington, KY
age: 49
| You're correct, 2 or 3 dates should time to see if you're even compatible. I think what is missing is the idea of courtship that should have followed friendship. Nobody possesses patience, everything has to be right now, therefore 2 or 3 days later, proposal!
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| 10/26/2009 7:32:30 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
tryagaindj68
Evansville, IN
age: 41
| If you decide you're happier alone, that's fine. Just make sure you're choosing to be alone rather than giving up on love. ((hugs))
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| 10/26/2009 7:44:20 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
mrgoodhoney
Glen Carbon, IL
age: 56
| So you're saying that you feel smothered and not ready to be joined at the hip?
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| 10/26/2009 8:26:02 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
dinkasu48
Henderson, TX
age: 49
| starting to wonder if i was the only one. i agree...
you have to be selfish to be generous.....
that is a grand example of rationalization if I ever heard one
actually to be generous is to give all
I do believe it is a good thing to be alone and start over
it opens your eyes to new beginnings and failures unfortunately
it allows you to try harder at your dreams with out
interference of other relationships too...
I rather enjoy being single myself
do play on dh
sometimes after playing on dh
and reading male replies
that is ENOUGH of male I need
for one nite... (lol)
some male replies here just crack me up
on how they THINK they know how women THINK
other males here, most are way to far away
make for a pleasant dream...
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| 10/27/2009 6:08:57 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
hitman_13
Paris, TN
age: 42
| Dateable, I have been there a LOT of times, and still get those feeling's now. It's hard to stay positive when your feeling lonely and all alone, but if you just quit, or give up, you could miss out on the best thing that's ever happened in your life. it's a lot like when we went to the moon. If we would have quit, we would have missed out on all that heavenly glory....Hope it get's better for you, and good luck!
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| 10/27/2009 6:54:24 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 62
| You are attracted to desperate guys. They cannot really be in love with you after 2 or 3 dates. You have something they want and they will do everything and anything it takes to get it, whether they are after a safe spot to land or a gentle heart. Save it for a guy who TRULY loves you.
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| 10/27/2009 9:29:56 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
noswal09
Havertown, PA
age: 20
| hypocrites in this thread, men posters and women posters.
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| 10/27/2009 3:11:26 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
kygolfer43
Nicholasville, KY
age: 44
| Hi Don't give up on the thought and belief of Love it is out there, one just has to find it and that may require kissing some frogs. Not all of us men want to move in togather or get married after 3 dates. So of acctually belive in good old fashioned courting - dates,dinners and flowers - long taks holding hands and late night phone calls that seem to last for ever if the conversation is good. I agree with one of the posts that said those guys were trying to get laid - fast pace is the new look of idiot men trying to be sensitive, insted of learning to communicate with someone.
So don't give up romantic men are still out there and waiting to find you as much as you want them and if you don't find one call me and I will take you out and promise no proposals.
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| 11/1/2009 11:35:30 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
givemeshelter
Morehead, KY
age: 48
| I am a couple years older than you and have been single now about two years. . . You are so right about the frustration in dating at this age! It is so different than when we were young.
I mean, I am now rationalizing that all the good ones our age are already taken! The only way to find someone worth dating is to date someone quite a few years older or younger. . .
(whom you only have limited things in common with due to the age difference).
As to the pre-mature proposals, you are not alone. . . there are still members of the fairer sex who seem to be in a rush to the alter as well. (As you mentioned in your statement - that is nothing new).
I would love to be married again also. . . But after what I have been thru with my first marriage. . . Whooooh!!! There is no way on god's green earth I am going to rush into that again Hopefully we all will learn from our mistakes and do better the second time around. But there are plenty of people out there who marry early and often. I am not one of them.
Ok, well, this has been somewhat theraputic, (I know I misspelled that), I have enjoyed responding to your post - I too am still adjusting to being alone.
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| 11/1/2009 4:11:36 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
clownkilla
Sarasota, FL
age: 39
| Just give up!Life sucks but don't worry I have good news for you!The end of the world is coming in 2012!Thank god!I wish it was this year but I can wait!
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| 11/1/2009 10:39:27 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
kerangeldol
Dearborn, MI
age: 38
| no 
[Edited 11/1/2009 10:40:03 PM PST]
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| 11/1/2009 10:45:13 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
iamalwaysjustme
Olathe, KS
age: 50
| I really do Love being single  
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| 11/1/2009 10:56:14 PM | Ready to call it quits | |
10_2ur_biz
Highland, CA
age: 44
| You get use to the single life . Unfortunately
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| 11/2/2009 12:56:16 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
latestflame
Germantown, TN
age: 33
| No. I want love and a family too much to ever give up at finding the right person. I may feel it's hopeless sometimes, but deep down I know I always reach my goals. It's jujst wanting them enough and knowing the right balance where you don't try too hard or too little in the case of relationships though.
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| 11/2/2009 1:46:23 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
kerangeldol
Dearborn, MI
age: 38
| no, no, no..I am just getting started.....
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| 11/2/2009 1:49:03 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
latestflame
Germantown, TN
age: 33
| me too really. I wasted a lot of years on people online and in many cases never met them and so it's like I'm just starting again. Now I'm clueless as to where to meet the type I want also. Well some people here gave good suggestions though.
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| 11/2/2009 2:25:25 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
scarred
Taft, TX
age: 26
| No.
As for love just because you don't feel it doesn't mean they don't. I can honestly say that there are certain girls who I've opened up to quicker than other girls and who have made me feel completely different than other girls.
Sounds to me like you're judging someone far too quickly and not allowing yourself any room to breathe. Sure it might be more romantic to you to be told on your 1 year anniversary from your first date that he's in love with you but it took him a year to figure that out or to say it to you?
I'm not saying guys don't toss the word around like it's an everyday casual thing that might get them some p*ssy tonight but there are genuine times as well.
Love doesn't know boundaries, time, space, fights, arguments, stress, etc. Love is love it knows peace, nurturing, caring, attraction. Maybe you'd rather beat the crap out of the dude for the first 10 dates maybe then he won't say it so soon. Tell him off curse at em make em feel like shit and then turn a new leaf and see if he still loves you.
A lot of people get lost in lust and can never come out of it.
Marriage is a cop out on love IMO so please don't use that term like it has *soo* much meaning because truthfully it's no different than going steady with some repercussions on your paycheck.
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| 11/2/2009 3:08:34 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
bigbazborn
Buellton, CA
age: 45
| OP, maybe you should give "letting it happen" a try. You know, walk in with no expectations . . . find a man who is self-secure and enjoys being with you, being alone, or just being alive.
You sound like a self-assured woman and you have been single for a long time . . . if you are open to allowing a man into your life, then I think you will find one worth letting in.
What I am saying is that it may be less "them/him" and more you.
Do you want to call it quits? Are you comfortable just being you with no man in your life?
Or are you like me . . . self-assured, independent but incomplete and aware that there is a better me that will emerge when I am in a healthy, loving relationship?
I BELIEVE that I will eventually find someone to help me fill the equation of:
One God, One Man, One Woman
But that's just me.
For you:
I hope that you find JOY.
Bry
[Edited 11/2/2009 3:09:24 AM PST]
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| 11/2/2009 6:16:45 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
mudclean
Warren, MI
age: 29
| Congratulations! Feminists have been trying to grow balls for a long time, and they've succeeded. The unintended consequence is that men started grown pussies. Now you want to whine that you can't find a "real man". Sorry, NOT MY PROBLEM!
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| 11/2/2009 6:46:18 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
2sassy_2sweet
Dedham, MA
age: 42
| I feel bad when i see threads like this...you have a good profile, you're attractive and a nice personality...
You have to always go with your heart, no matter what....I have been through 2 divorces and umpteen relationships...i didnt' always follow my heart, but i have no regrets either..we live and learn from our choices in life...
My second divorce was in february, and swore not to get involved again for a long time..there are always guys asking me out and yes, saying the "L" word way too soon! My first rule is "no" dating...if someone is interested, then they will meet me with my friends for drinks and dancing...that way they see me for who i really am, and vice versa...usually by the end of the evening, i can tell if there's some potential or not and there's no obligation for a second encounter because it's not actually a date, just a friendly meet and greet..
I have realized that the roles have turned for men and women...the women aren't looking for commitment too soon,and more independent, while the men are eager to settle and be cared for...
I met a wonderful guy in april..he was attracted for several months and i avoided him..one night, i called and asked him out for drinks and we hit it off great..he has a great personality, sense of humor, likes to cook, clean and do for others...he also has a son that he adores...i was straight forward with him about my feelings and what i wanted..he respected that and never pushed our relationship until i was ready...3 months after dating, i told him how i truly felt for him and how easy he made it for me to "love" him...he was so excited and glad i finally opened up...4 months after i expressed my feelings, we moved in together..i hesitated for the longest time,but then realized he makes me happier than any man ever has and sometimes we never know if something is meant to be until we take that plunge...although he works away mon-thurs, and we have lived together for past 2 weeks, our relationship has only grown stronger...I have no regrets and very glad i have taken the steps i have in the past 7 months, otherwise, i may have lost the best thing that's ever happened to me...
I wish you all the luck...concentrate on YOU, God will do the rest...
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| 11/2/2009 10:25:31 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
dateable1
Berea, KY
age: 45
| OP, maybe you should give "letting it happen" a try. You know, walk in with no expectations . . . find a man who is self-secure and enjoys being with you, being alone, or just being alive.
You sound like a self-assured woman and you have been single for a long time . . . if you are open to allowing a man into your life, then I think you will find one worth letting in.
What I am saying is that it may be less "them/him" and more you.
Do you want to call it quits? Are you comfortable just being you with no man in your life?
Or are you like me . . . self-assured, independent but incomplete and aware that there is a better me that will emerge when I am in a healthy, loving relationship?
I BELIEVE that I will eventually find someone to help me fill the equation of:
One God, One Man, One Woman
But that's just me.
For you:
I hope that you find JOY.
Bry
Hi bigbaz,
Thanks for your post. You're right. The problem maybe more with me than him/them. While I'm very comfortable being single and doing what makes me happy 100% of the time, the other side of me does long for that wonderful, loving, comfortable companionship.
In trying to psychoanalyze myself, maybe the problem is that I'm not so willing to leave the security of being single and put my heart and emotions up on the chopping block. I'm always on the lookout for signs that a potential relationship won't work. I'd rather remain single than to get involved in something that's WRONG.
JMO
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| 11/2/2009 10:28:23 AM | Ready to call it quits | |
dateable1
Berea, KY
age: 45
| Congratulations! Feminists have been trying to grow balls for a long time, and they've succeeded. The unintended consequence is that men started grown pussies. Now you want to whine that you can't find a "real man". Sorry, NOT MY PROBLEM!
Mudclean,
You don't get it at all but I'd expect that from someone your age. It's not about finding a "real man". It's about finding the "right man" for me. Women's lib has absolutely NOTHING to do with this one.
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