Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?

11/6/2009 1:18:39 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	I just been informed by three different men who are disabled that they are deleting their profile because it's too hard for them to continue on DH and other sites. I am NOT saying that I am a strong persona and is able to conquer any obstacles.......is there anyone who can share what it is like to be in their shoes........when they run into any obstacle and not finding anyone to be interested in them. I for one.......am very content and at peace to be alone. I KNOW that I expect a lot from my partner so it's best that I stay alone and push myself instead. I am saddened by those who have deleted their profile no matter how supportive I have been with them.......... Meet singles in your area here at DateHookup.com, we're 100% free for everything! Join now!
11/6/2009 2:06:27 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
wolfyhp Atascadero, CA age: 36	Quote from utahgal1: I just been informed by three different men who are disabled that they are deleting their profile because it's too hard for them to continue on DH and other sites. I am NOT saying that I am a strong persona and is able to conquer any obstacles.......is there anyone who can share what it is like to be in their shoes........when they run into any obstacle and not finding anyone to be interested in them. I for one.......am very content and at peace to be alone. I KNOW that I expect a lot from my partner so it's best that I stay alone and push myself instead. I am saddened by those who have deleted their profile no matter how supportive I have been with them.......... My profile isn't deleted because I've made friends here and I have conversations here. I don't really think this site will find me a date, nor any site. I've all but given up on having a romance. There's a small glimmer of hope that one might be sent my way someday, but I'm not out looking for it (as I was when I first created my profile here) and I am happy in my life without it. Yes, it will always be a missing piece for me as long as it's not there, but it's one I've been without long enough to know I can live without it if I have to. I am also pretty demanding of my partner, but that's not my biggest hindrance. However, I also know the nature of my disabilities combined with the effects various medications have had on my body, I'm just not attractive to most people. I make myself look good for me and am happy with my appearance. Maybe someone out there also will be because they love my heart. I guess I'll see.
11/6/2009 2:08:04 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	I know how they feel... Not yet in relation to Dating sites... but I have another experience where I have reached the point where I just can't do it anymore... and it relates to my Disability My experience... I have been struggling a life time with my religious group in terms of interpreting. I am Deaf, but I don't sign. When the real time caption came out, it was a godsend... it was used at School events etc. But in a religious setting they are not required to do this. I developed a system with the help of my then Husband, and a dear friend where they typed the sermon real time on a computer. I was in the Back room for a year... just me and the person typing. My ex was in the main hall, and he cheated on me with someone there, just like I was invisible. They moved me out into the main hall with a desk and laptop... and it worked great. But I had to promote it EVERY time I went. Rarely did someone just step up to help, they would regulate it to others. It was great, as long as someone else did it... I felt like a liability. People thought that they had done their due for me, when I left I had already had my share so to speak so no one had time for me. I have not gone in a long time.... I just can't face that obstacle any more. When I see someone that goes there, they ask why I don't attend anymore and I tell them I just don't have the strength to pursue what has not taken hold. It weighs heavily on me, but not so much as the effort that it takes to go. I gave up... And no, changing faith is NOT an option... My Faith and Belief in God is not based on people.
11/6/2009 3:29:19 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	trying to find a relationship with a disability can be very hard I'm listed on other sights me I think that they just don't want to get involve or bother because we demand more but I've learned the only thing that I demand is hekp with my chair & I can help alittle other things I do very well that's all I really have to say just keep trying hopefully you'll succeed
11/6/2009 3:46:19 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ditza Hull, GA age: 40	I have ran into those not disabled and gone out with a few and have them tell me you have a great personality and uplifting spirit and a go getter... but it all boils down to the fact that they cant handle being with someone different then themselves it what i read or hear from them they are more worried about what thier friends and others will think , personally i think they are too damn vain!!!!! I dont date someone on their looks or how much money they make or earn, i look for how they treat me , its whats on the inside their honesty and truthfullness the outside , looks wealth if they have it is all extras sorta like the frosting, i want the heart , soul !!!! i hate to see anyone leave because they cant find anyone right away , leave and i gaurntee the one for them will be online after they are gone and they lose that chance.i know its been done but you cant expect to find the one in a few days mths , it can take yrs of weeding thru the good and the bad!!! when you are not looking is when you find the one for you!!!!
11/6/2009 3:58:40 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
yellow_moon Trenton, NJ age: 36	It is difficult for those without a disability, why should be easy for us? I have met some people from online dating and to be honest it has not bother them the fact that I use a wheelchair. People have to be patient there is no special treatment in the dating world. Besides we only need on person...
11/6/2009 4:15:00 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
letusing Saint Paul, MN age: 56	Speaking for myself I seeking friendships ive befriended a handful of great folk's On my home state, and the Fifty's group, by going on a camping trip this past spring! and it was great, folk's that got together and for me a shot in the dark for some find L O V E! again. Its a shot in the dark, some of the men have told me they never went out with a Black woman I thought i had red blood too! and I have feelings to even this sweety need's understanding. And some of you think you have problum's!Ill enjoy what I have and inspite of, i still enjoy life!Just something to ponder on!you all have some great day ahead!sing/Bev
11/6/2009 6:23:04 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
polefrog Harriman, TN age: 53 online now!	Sometimes I just get really tired....not much comfort in this world.
11/6/2009 7:43:35 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
dragonlady36 New Albany, IN age: 38	I've come to the realization that love is never going to find me again. Friends - hopefully, Love- not reality. Its hard enough for me to go through daily life, why would someone what to share that life with me. Hell just two days ago I could not leave my house because my legs were not strong enough to walk very far. I knew I should not get behind the wheel of my truck to drive my kids to get my son the shoes I had promised him. Yesterday I walked the mall twice with my walker while he searched for shoes and now today I hurt so damned bad I'm biting everyones head off, of course not on purpose but push myself to do everything when I should do nothing/ but cant sit back and watch everything pile up. My kids dont want to be here, why would a man? There are days I hurt so bad I get angry and then sad; I dont even get out of bed. Yeah I'm the next Mrs Right! Sorry shouldnt say all this! but you asked so you opened the can of worms only you asked the men not the women I know... I know cry me a river boo hoo my life sucks!! but you asked.
11/6/2009 8:01:11 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from dragonlady36: I've come to the realization that love is never going to find me again. Friends - hopefully, Love- not reality. Its hard enough for me to go through daily life, why would someone what to share that life with me. Hell just two days ago I could not leave my house because my legs were not strong enough to walk very far. I knew I should not get behind the wheel of my truck to drive my kids to get my son the shoes I had promised him. Yesterday I walked the mall twice with my walker while he searched for shoes and now today I hurt so damned bad I'm biting everyones head off, of course not on purpose but push myself to do everything when I should do nothing/ but cant sit back and watch everything pile up. My kids dont want to be here, why would a man? There are days I hurt so bad I get angry and then sad; I dont even get out of bed. Yeah I'm the next Mrs Right! Sorry shouldnt say all this! but you asked so you opened the can of worms only you asked the men not the women I know... I know cry me a river boo hoo my life sucks!! but you asked. Yes, I did asked.......and, please, don't apologise. I am just learning about what other people's feelings in this.....and what they are going through. I hope things will be a lot easier for you soon.......and wish you warmest holidays. As for other who participated in this thread........thank you so much for opening not only my eyes but everyone elses too. I too have a rough go but I try my best to keep a smile on my face no matter what.......and, this is NOT a suggestion from me to all those who are having difficult times. My heart goes out to each and every one of you but most importantly.......my love for you is even greater! Ramona
11/6/2009 8:03:53 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	Quote from dragonlady36: I've come to the realization that love is never going to find me again. Friends - hopefully, Love- not reality. Its hard enough for me to go through daily life, why would someone what to share that life with me. Hell just two days ago I could not leave my house because my legs were not strong enough to walk very far. I knew I should not get behind the wheel of my truck to drive my kids to get my son the shoes I had promised him. Yesterday I walked the mall twice with my walker while he searched for shoes and now today I hurt so damned bad I'm biting everyones head off, of course not on purpose but push myself to do everything when I should do nothing/ but cant sit back and watch everything pile up. My kids dont want to be here, why would a man? There are days I hurt so bad I get angry and then sad; I dont even get out of bed. Yeah I'm the next Mrs Right! Sorry shouldnt say all this! but you asked so you opened the can of worms only you asked the men not the women I know... I know cry me a river boo hoo my life sucks!! but you asked. It is NOT feeling sorry for our self to tell the truth of what we have to deal with... why should we have to live it and keep it a secret also? I am sure your Children appreciate everything you do ... I hope your feeling better soon!!
11/7/2009 5:40:47 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
lorrmorr Albuquerque, NM age: 53	I have tried a couple of chat rooms in the past, just trying to get acquainted with people, and no one would talk to me. I found them very clique-ish and unresponsive. It seems ludicrous to me to get on a public chat room and then try to be all snobbish about who you allow into the conversation. HOWEVER, having said that, let me say this: I think this website may be different. I detect a note of sincere interest and willingness to be friendly in every single person I have communicated with so far. (About 6) I am looking forward to getting to know some of these folks - ya know what they say: Lovers are a dime a dozen; FRIENDS are hard to find. And when you do find a real one you must care for your friend and make sure he/she is ok. Friendship is very precious and must be treated as such!
11/7/2009 5:56:17 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
lorrmorr Albuquerque, NM age: 53	Sometimes the very act of continuing makes you bone tired and you start looking for the "Give Up Here" desk. You start wondering what the hell is the point of it all and what's it going to matter in 10, 20, 30 years? Is is going to matter in 30 MINUTES?? Who knows? But I do know this: LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. HEAVEN OR HELL. HAVE IT YOUR WAY. It is as you believe. If you go around telling people that you are tired, sick, or miserable, you will in fact BE tired, sick and miserable. Thought becomes words; words become action; action becomes habit; habit becomes character. Stay positive!! You can stop the "Stinkin Thinkin". When you switch on a light switch does the light need a few months/weeks to provide light? No, when you switch that switch, the act of the light eating up the darkness is INSTANTEOUS. In the exact same way, you can teach yourself not to let negativity eat you up. They say 80% of what goes on in our heads is destructive. But you can stop the stinkin thinkin, and you can do it just as quickly as the light eats up the darkness when you flip that switch. It's not easy, you must constantly retrain and condition yourself not to go negative. I think we all do it subconsciously. Make a conscious effort to view your life from a new or different perspective. E mail me and I will tell you knock knock jokes until you cheer up. Hey I am here for you if you want to talk some more. Lorrmorr Oh hey I should note, most of these remarks were directed to POLEFROG, who seems to need a new approach to life. [Edited 11/7/2009 6:00:44 AM PST]
11/7/2009 8:08:35 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
iamaperson Medicine Hat, AB age: 59	Quote from polefrog: Sometimes I just get really tired....not much comfort in this world. I am sorry that you are having a bad day and if it helps, I know of what you speak. I believe that we both have a hearing disability. The constant negative of always trying to keep up with a conversation, being insinc with our responses so we don't look like we don't know what we are talking about. Catching (maybe) every second or third word when the person talking looks away, is in bad lighting, soft spoken, is very wearing on the spirit of interacting in this world. Then, when we are alone at home, there is no one to understand how difficult it is to participate in living day to day and our soul suffers. So, I understand the "not much comfort" thing. I hope things get better for you and you are not so tired.
11/7/2009 8:10:18 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
iamaperson Medicine Hat, AB age: 59	Quote from lorrmorr: Sometimes the very act of continuing makes you bone tired and you start looking for the "Give Up Here" desk. You start wondering what the hell is the point of it all and what's it going to matter in 10, 20, 30 years? Is is going to matter in 30 MINUTES?? Who knows? But I do know this: LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. HEAVEN OR HELL. HAVE IT YOUR WAY. It is as you believe. If you go around telling people that you are tired, sick, or miserable, you will in fact BE tired, sick and miserable. Thought becomes words; words become action; action becomes habit; habit becomes character. Stay positive!! You can stop the "Stinkin Thinkin". When you switch on a light switch does the light need a few months/weeks to provide light? No, when you switch that switch, the act of the light eating up the darkness is INSTANTEOUS. In the exact same way, you can teach yourself not to let negativity eat you up. They say 80% of what goes on in our heads is destructive. But you can stop the stinkin thinkin, and you can do it just as quickly as the light eats up the darkness when you flip that switch. It's not easy, you must constantly retrain and condition yourself not to go negative. I think we all do it subconsciously. Make a conscious effort to view your life from a new or different perspective. E mail me and I will tell you knock knock jokes until you cheer up. Hey I am here for you if you want to talk some more. Lorrmorr Oh hey I should note, most of these remarks were directed to POLEFROG, who seems to need a new approach to life. Good to see someone so positive, knock knock jokes are good
11/7/2009 8:19:42 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	This is a very good learning tool for me to see where some of you are coming from.......but I LOVE it when you are coming together/supporting each other with our feelings. I salute you! On this note........I remember when I first signed up on this site.....I had high hopes then they were crushed due to the fact I have disabilities (according to men). I WAS depressed then I realized one thing. Preference(s). I don't mention my disabilities on my profile but I have always tell told in their FIRST email about me. About 75% bailed....other sympathized.......and I ended up with very few friends. I was flabberghasted with the result but then I realized this......it's not ONLY their weaknesses but their preference of what partner they were looking for. You see.......I too have a preference. I prefer not to date any man who smokes, drinks, or live more than 100 miles away from me. Why? Bad experiences but I have a right to have preferences of what I want out of my potential partner. So, why can't I allow others to feel that way too? So, I am content I live alone......and, I'm happy......and, I will NOT try so hard to find that potential partner IF he's out there. Again, I am ALWAYS with you all..........R
11/7/2009 10:13:04 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	Quote from iamaperson: I am sorry that you are having a bad day and if it helps, I know of what you speak. I believe that we both have a hearing disability. The constant negative of always trying to keep up with a conversation, being insinc with our responses so we don't look like we don't know what we are talking about. Catching (maybe) every second or third word when the person talking looks away, is in bad lighting, soft spoken, is very wearing on the spirit of interacting in this world. Then, when we are alone at home, there is no one to understand how difficult it is to participate in living day to day and our soul suffers. So, I understand the "not much comfort" thing. I hope things get better for you and you are not so tired. I can relate to this... as I am totally Deaf I want to add... maintaining an appropriate expression when not sure if the conversation is serious or joking At night I am in the habit of watching the TV with closecaptions to relax my mind, so I can fall asleep I don't have to wonder what someone said, etc Deafness and Hard of hearing is isolating even when we are around people... touch is MORE important It would be nice to go home and have a hug, and connect with someone
11/7/2009 10:29:01 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
iamaperson Medicine Hat, AB age: 59	I second that ccherie, here's a hug for you.
11/7/2009 4:18:58 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	Quote from iamaperson: I second that ccherie, here's a hug for you. Thank you!!
11/8/2009 8:03:27 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
wolfyhp Atascadero, CA age: 36	Maybe I should bow out after all.
11/8/2009 11:59:00 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from wolfyhp: Maybe I should bow out after all. Because? YOu have tons of friends here.........and you're quitting?
11/8/2009 6:24:42 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
vet61 Farmington, IL age: 48	Quote from utahgal1: This is a very good learning tool for me to see where some of you are coming from.......but I LOVE it when you are coming together/supporting each other with our feelings. I salute you! On this note........I remember when I first signed up on this site.....I had high hopes then they were crushed due to the fact I have disabilities (according to men). I WAS depressed then I realized one thing. Preference(s). I don't mention my disabilities on my profile but I have always tell told in their FIRST email about me. About 75% bailed....other sympathized.......and I ended up with very few friends. I was flabberghasted with the result but then I realized this......it's not ONLY their weaknesses but their preference of what partner they were looking for. You see.......I too have a preference. I prefer not to date any man who smokes, drinks, or live more than 100 miles away from me. Why? Bad experiences but I have a right to have preferences of what I want out of my potential partner. So, why can't I allow others to feel that way too? So, I am content I live alone......and, I'm happy......and, I will NOT try so hard to find that potential partner IF he's out there. Again, I am ALWAYS with you all..........R Ramona, you have someone in Illinois that will always love you! You are a sweetheart and only deserve the best!
11/9/2009 6:43:56 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Aw, thanks, Mike. I'm glad YOU didn't quit..........and, I understand you're doing fantastic in Illinois with a new gal in your life. You're awesome!
11/9/2009 6:46:02 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
wolfyhp Atascadero, CA age: 36	Quote from utahgal1: Because? YOu have tons of friends here.........and you're quitting? Was just going through a mood. School has been very stressful this semester.
11/9/2009 9:19:43 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Sorry to hear that........and, am glad to see you here still. Just vent with us.....and we'll listen with beer, soda, etc. in our hands. We're your friends. And, school's tough these days.
11/9/2009 4:35:46 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
hiker42 Colorado Springs, CO age: 56	As the Johnny Cash song goes, " Some days are diamonds. Some days are coal.". In dealing with disabilities you can find yourselves being so joyfull just for some of lifes little things that go unnoticed by others and the next thing you know you're getting waylayed by circumstances that leave you feeling lost, alone and feeling like you have no value. Think of this group as shelter from the storm. We may not have all the answers but we sure as heck are familar with the questions. So chins up everyone!
11/9/2009 4:46:29 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from hiker42: As the Johnny Cash song goes, " Some days are diamonds. Some days are coal.". In dealing with disabilities you can find yourselves being so joyfull just for some of lifes little things that go unnoticed by others and the next thing you know you're getting waylayed by circumstances that leave you feeling lost, alone and feeling like you have no value. Think of this group as shelter from the storm. We may not have all the answers but we sure as heck are familar with the questions. So chins up everyone! Nicely said/written, Hiker. Thanks a bunch.
11/9/2009 7:13:47 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
hiker42 Colorado Springs, CO age: 56	Anytime lovely lady!
11/11/2009 5:03:58 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	most women want some 1 who's perfect all their body parts they are so stuck on themselves it makes your head want explode then youy have downgrade to something that you don't want to all women out there GET OVER IT then maybe we can all get along & stop whining
11/11/2009 5:42:31 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ditza Hull, GA age: 40	Quote from bigbadklondyke: most women want some 1 who's perfect all their body parts they are so stuck on themselves it makes your head want explode then youy have downgrade to something that you don't want to all women out there GET OVER IT then maybe we can all get along & stop whining sorry but that is just plain old bullshit,,I am now involved with a man that is in a wheelchair, he is the best thing that every happened to me! so dont go off on its all women's fault sorry but that ball swings both ways , just as many men are the same damn way!!!!!!maybe you need to check yourself! bad attitude gets you no where!!!! [Edited 11/11/2009 5:42:56 AM PST]
11/11/2009 6:06:09 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	Quote from ditza: sorry but that is just plain old bullshit,,I am now involved with a man that is in a wheelchair, he is the best thing that every happened to me! so dont go off on its all women's fault sorry but that ball swings both ways , just as many men are the same damn way!!!!!!maybe you need to check yourself! bad attitude gets you no where!!!! just like you said it's bullshit & it swings both ways but did you stop & think that it's true
11/11/2009 6:11:05 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ditza Hull, GA age: 40	Quote from bigbadklondyke: just like you said it's bullshit & it swings both ways but did you stop & think that it's true the only thing I can say is true is peoples attitudes make a big influence on if someone wants anything to do with them , and from the way you came off in this post you surely have a very poor attitude towards women so yes I can see why no one wants anything to do with you!.. stop feeling sorry for yourself ! Im done I dont let rude , poor pitiful me people stop me from living my life , yes i find I have in the past been shuned by non disabled men and women but also by disabled people, due to my ms and being overweight! but did I let it stop me no < I kept my chin up and kept on going! Maybe you need to rethink your need of being on here! maybe you are not ready to be in a relationship with the attitude you have!
11/11/2009 6:16:07 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ditza Hull, GA age: 40	Quote from lorrmorr: Sometimes the very act of continuing makes you bone tired and you start looking for the "Give Up Here" desk. You start wondering what the hell is the point of it all and what's it going to matter in 10, 20, 30 years? Is is going to matter in 30 MINUTES?? Who knows? But I do know this: LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. HEAVEN OR HELL. HAVE IT YOUR WAY. It is as you believe. If you go around telling people that you are tired, sick, or miserable, you will in fact BE tired, sick and miserable. Thought becomes words; words become action; action becomes habit; habit becomes character. Stay positive!! You can stop the "Stinkin Thinkin". When you switch on a light switch does the light need a few months/weeks to provide light? No, when you switch that switch, the act of the light eating up the darkness is INSTANTEOUS. In the exact same way, you can teach yourself not to let negativity eat you up. They say 80% of what goes on in our heads is destructive. But you can stop the stinkin thinkin, and you can do it just as quickly as the light eats up the darkness when you flip that switch. It's not easy, you must constantly retrain and condition yourself not to go negative. I think we all do it subconsciously. Make a conscious effort to view your life from a new or different perspective. E mail me and I will tell you knock knock jokes until you cheer up. Hey I am here for you if you want to talk some more. Lorrmorr Oh hey I should note, most of these remarks were directed to POLEFROG, who seems to need a new approach to life. exactly , you give off what people see , if you are always negative , down , and sour people want nothing to do with you! I know even those of us who try daily to remain positive have bad days as does anyone, its ok to vent and get it out of your system , to sit and let it build is just bringing you down!!! I lost a ton of friends because they had a negative attitude I refuse to deal with people that are negative on a daily basis..... I have a life to live and I want only positive people that want to continue to live and be happy even if it means they are alone , i look at it like this I would much rather live alone , then to be together with someone and unhappy, I have family friends and my children ( and now i can say I have meet a beautiful man that accepts me for who I am and I the same with him!!)
11/11/2009 6:25:26 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	[quoteheader]Quote from ditza:[/quoteheader][quote]the only thing I can say is true is peoples attitudes make a big influence on if someone wants anything to do with them , and from the way you came off in this post you surely have a very poor attitude towards women so yes I can see why no one wants anything to do with you!.. stop feeling sorry for yourself ! Im done I dont let rude , poor pitiful me people stop me from living my life , yes i find I have in the past been shuned by non disabled men and women but also by disabled people, due to my ms and being overweight! but did I let it stop me no < I kept my chin up and kept on going! Maybe you need to rethink your need of being on here! maybe you are not ready to be in a relationship with the attitude you have![/quote]I'm very happy with myself but it's the way people come off toward me & that's been that way all my life people either want sometghing you don't have or they just want to see how much they can take & opionions are like a*holes every body has 1 & people always complain that they have bad than others I'm not it's just like I've always stated men are dum dcks & women are c****
11/11/2009 6:41:10 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ditza Hull, GA age: 40	sorry for the others that have to read all that but I had to block him, I dont like when people call women that word its just plain out rude , show's they have no manners or selfrespect for others!!!
11/11/2009 6:46:07 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from bigbadklondyke: I'm very happy with myself but it's the way people come off toward me & that's been that way all my life people either want sometghing you don't have or they just want to see how much they can take & opionions are like a*holes every body has 1 & people always complain that they have bad than others I'm not it's just like I've always stated men are dum dcks & women are c**** All right, Big.......I understand your frustrations of feeling the way you have been but calling on ALL Men and ALL Women names will NOT get you anywhere but heartaches. I have to agree with Ditza thank you, Ditza for your posts because she made valid points about our attitudes and how WE are responsible for them. I merely created this thread in order to understand what we are going through but name callings will not justify your actions, Big.........and, I resent being called a c..., but once in awhile I may be a b..... but I don't want to be that with you. You are entitled to your feelings since I opened the door but please, please do NOT stereotyping all women as how you feel about them. I have heard alot of men AND women having hard time in their wheelchairs but, Big, all men AND women are having hard times with all sorts of disabilities too.......WE all struggle on daily basis......and, this group is our outlet/connection/support system to either vent, share news, ask questions, etc........... Big, I am tired of losing people because of their frustrations, sadness, etc.......but I just cannot have you insulting my friends due to your frustrations. Okay? Thanks. R
11/11/2009 8:54:18 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	Quote from bigbadklondyke: most women want some 1 who's perfect all their body parts they are so stuck on themselves it makes your head want explode then youy have downgrade to something that you don't want to all women out there GET OVER IT then maybe we can all get along & stop whining Downgrade??? To something WE/YOU don't WANT??? If I adjust myself to someone I would not normally consider, it would be with a positive attitude... exploring possibilities Downgrade is every bit as insulting as the "degrading" words you used towards women and offended me just as much
11/11/2009 9:55:12 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
letusing Saint Paul, MN age: 56	Great thread!sweety you must relize some out here, just have to meny issues to mention! Should they be crude? No! should we try to understand No! not when there truly are acting stupid!sing have some good days peep's sing.
11/11/2009 10:45:38 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	all I'm saying is that I've excepted my condition & have jumped over alot of walls we have all been broken,beat & scarred but if we sit here & cry about it shows more negativity than positivity if we look at what's wrong instead of hiding it we are lost we all want honesty but when you do they run & this includes men & women both & you can't say I'm wrong just really think about thank you
11/11/2009 12:12:32 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	Quote from bigbadklondyke: all I'm saying is that I've excepted my condition & have jumped over alot of walls we have all been broken,beat & scarred but if we sit here & cry about it shows more negativity than positivity if we look at what's wrong instead of hiding it we are lost we all want honesty but when you do they run & this includes men & women both & you can't say I'm wrong just really think about thank you I would rather a person cry or whine then show the negativity that you displayed There is never an excuse to use hurtful, crude words Your last response shows that you know the difference... it was not fair to take your anger out on us An apology would be appreciated...
11/11/2009 12:59:11 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	Quote from ccherie: I would rather a person cry or whine then show the negativity that you displayed There is never an excuse to use hurtful, crude words Your last response shows that you know the difference... it was not fair to take your anger out on us An apology would be appreciated... this is my point I'm a very positive person I don't use my disability as a crutch I make due with what I've got all this shows that you are afraid they always told me if you can't stand the fire get out of the kitchen well I'm not scared & I sure don't get cold feet why should apologise for speaking the truth
11/11/2009 2:42:39 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	Quote from bigbadklondyke: this is my point I'm a very positive person I don't use my disability as a crutch I make due with what I've got all this shows that you are afraid they always told me if you can't stand the fire get out of the kitchen well I'm not scared & I sure don't get cold feet why should apologise for speaking the truth Afraid?? The Truth?? according to who? I honestly believe your first post on this thread is YOUR Truth You don't get it do you?? It is NEVER acceptable to use crude and degrading language towards anyone... for ANY reason You offended others, whether you meant to or not... if you are not willing to apologize, this shows a lack of respect to all of us [Edited 11/11/2009 2:43:49 PM PST]
11/11/2009 3:58:31 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Well, I did warned Big about heartaches he would be creating..........I think apologies would suffice.
11/12/2009 4:51:18 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	what fantasy world are you in I've only used 2 crude words but don't you think & I mean think about it what would happen if evry 1 you know & who helps you was not there & your all a lone with no 1 what would you do me I pick myself up & push on until there's no breath left in me then maybe I would crawl to a hole & maybe die the topic here is it really hard for some of us I know it's hard but if you let that stop you then I'm sorry that's your own fault & you are letting that wall stop you we live in a free country where we have freedom of speech & we are excrising that right here thank you
11/12/2009 6:01:18 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from bigbadklondyke: what fantasy world are you in I've only used 2 crude words but don't you think & I mean think about it what would happen if evry 1 you know & who helps you was not there & your all a lone with no 1 what would you do me I pick myself up & push on until there's no breath left in me then maybe I would crawl to a hole & maybe die the topic here is it really hard for some of us I know it's hard but if you let that stop you then I'm sorry that's your own fault & you are letting that wall stop you we live in a free country where we have freedom of speech & we are excrising that right here thank you I understand, Big.............I did asked about people sharing their feelings while struggling as you have been...and you still are. This is a learning tool for me and for others to relate. Creating a support system through friends here is something I was hoping for. I DO understand what it is like to be alone, Big.......and, I remember what it is like to want to crawl into a hole and die but I didn't ONLY for the sakes' of my children. I won't suggest what you need to do except I do want to express that I hope you find a way not to be so angry/short tempered and impatient with people's responses to posts here. People are hurting, Big, and we must act on kindness and encouragement. This is not a fantasy but a hopefulness in humanity. You can speak your mind anytime, Big.........but those two words you used impacted alot of people very strongly, including me. I am only asking for you to curb those words as you speak your mind in future posts. Thanks you, Big. [Edited 11/12/2009 6:03:47 AM PST]
11/12/2009 8:02:59 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ditza Hull, GA age: 40	utah you are an angel cause There is no way to help someone like that, bless you for trying ! I have learnt that in life there are those who want help and those who demand it to the point they become angry and bitter when they dont get it. the ones who want help will do anything to find it an those who demand it they just sit back waiting for it to happen ! you are a very bright caring women , who has a gift of love and caring , I hate to see you still arguing with someone who demands it but wont help themself, hugs and thanks again for being a bright light in all the darkness!
11/12/2009 9:03:18 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
ccherie Salem, OR age: 55	Quote from bigbadklondyke: what fantasy world are you in I've only used 2 crude words but don't you think & I mean think about it what would happen if evry 1 you know & who helps you was not there & your all a lone with no 1 what would you do me I pick myself up & push on until there's no breath left in me then maybe I would crawl to a hole & maybe die the topic here is it really hard for some of us I know it's hard but if you let that stop you then I'm sorry that's your own fault & you are letting that wall stop you we live in a free country where we have freedom of speech & we are excrising that right here thank you You still don't get it do you? You may be as right as RAIN, but your "two" crude words destroy your credibility You are making excuses for your behavior... ATTITUDE is a rock hard "wall" If you allow that to stop you, then I am sorry...that is YOUR own fault Haven't you learned yet, NOTHING in life is free... of course we have freedom to do or say what we want, but the COST can be VERY High
11/12/2009 9:49:26 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
dragonlady36 New Albany, IN age: 38	I want to say I understand where he is coming from. When I feel helpless and frustrated for so long I get REALLY angry and it comes out on whomever may be in front of me at the time. My kids are here to do ALOT for me, this week has been really bad for me. Just last night I almost fell in the middle of the grocery store and a lady behind me saw me grab the shelf and my son had to come up, just because I walked away from the cart and my cane. She freaked out on me, reached out to hold me up and luckily my son was only few feet away, but my dumbass should have known better. I just know I'm going to have to have this other back surgery, my legs are so weak and you should see how bad my typing really is (my fingers are still numb up through side of hand now), I used to type for a living, never again. Anyway off topic. I get so angry I see where he is coming from, I say things I feel bad afterwards but you gals know when we were used to being so independent and now having to be so dependent (or dependent forever insome cases) it is so VERY frustrating!!!!!!!! By the way sorry for the last post; perfect example of frustration, sorrow, lonliness, Boo Hoo Cry in my coffee
11/12/2009 10:03:42 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from dragonlady36: I want to say I understand where he is coming from. When I feel helpless and frustrated for so long I get REALLY angry and it comes out on whomever may be in front of me at the time. My kids are here to do ALOT for me, this week has been really bad for me. Just last night I almost fell in the middle of the grocery store and a lady behind me saw me grab the shelf and my son had to come up, just because I walked away from the cart and my cane. She freaked out on me, reached out to hold me up and luckily my son was only few feet away, but my dumbass should have known better. I just know I'm going to have to have this other back surgery, my legs are so weak and you should see how bad my typing really is (my fingers are still numb up through side of hand now), I used to type for a living, never again. Anyway off topic. I get so angry I see where he is coming from, I say things I feel bad afterwards but you gals know when we were used to being so independent and now having to be so dependent (or dependent forever insome cases) it is so VERY frustrating!!!!!!!! By the way sorry for the last post; perfect example of frustration, sorrow, lonliness, Boo Hoo Cry in my coffee Dragonlady, thanks for sharing your story. I too get frustrated and, boy, do I get VERY angry with myself for my stupidity by getting hurt........but it happens ALL THE TIME with everybody, disabled or not. This woman who tries to help you before your son......it's just an act of kindness and concern.......and not understanding what may have caused you to almost hurt yourself. Your son and well as his siblings.......shoot, it's hard on kids these days. My kids have had the hardest time and I thought it was embarrassment or something of the sort..........but they were afraid to ask because they knew how strong I have always been and they hated the way I've become BECAUSE I brought myself down to a bit of self pity this is about me only......this is not directed to anyone in particular. I am still strong........I try very hard to positive despite my disability or frustrations, and I always, always made effort on daily basis to be honest/true, positive, caring, supportive, etc. for everyone around me. No, this is NOT about putting a front or fake smiles........this is about ME changing MY way in order to look forward to remaining of my wonderful days. Thank you, Dragon, again for sharing. Ditza......you're awesome and thanks. Ccherie.........I'm proud of you.
11/12/2009 11:04:13 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
dragonlady36 New Albany, IN age: 38	utah, I can only strive to be like you. I'm not be sarcatic I truly wish I could be like that. I go minute by minute to be nice to my kids and family,(big fight this weekend with brother and sister inlaw over my meds)- outsiders well as my daughter says "I make no promises" I just hurt so bad and struggle so much on a daily basis its just to hard, too much. I need to go see my spine surgeon but I dont want to, the last time I went he told me to quit smoking and we needed to "get back in there and fix some more". Well I have quit smoking (Aug 25th)after 23 years, Thats probably why I'm so mean! So now I'm supposed to go back and schedule surgery but this will be #4. So I guess this is why I have only talked to few guys and will be alone for long time! Sorry, again wish I could be like you!
11/12/2009 11:46:03 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from dragonlady36: utah, I can only strive to be like you. I'm not be sarcatic I truly wish I could be like that. I go minute by minute to be nice to my kids and family,(big fight this weekend with brother and sister inlaw over my meds)- outsiders well as my daughter says "I make no promises" I just hurt so bad and struggle so much on a daily basis its just to hard, too much. I need to go see my spine surgeon but I dont want to, the last time I went he told me to quit smoking and we needed to "get back in there and fix some more". Well I have quit smoking (Aug 25th)after 23 years, Thats probably why I'm so mean! So now I'm supposed to go back and schedule surgery but this will be #4. So I guess this is why I have only talked to few guys and will be alone for long time! Sorry, again wish I could be like you! Sweetie......there's just no way for anyone to be compared on many levels because it's virtually impossible. We are apples and oranges........we feel/grieve/act/think/etc differently.......that is why our heavenly father created us so uniquely. I am so proud of you for quitting such addictive habit smoking........that's incredibly hard habit to quit.....and you found your inner strength to do it. Therefore, my heart goes out to you for struggling through your pain management dilemma. When my fibromyalgia acted up......I'm so sure it's NOTHING compared to your level of pain. Just take a minute, hour or even a day at a time........because I do too. I went shopping yesterday and I feel like a dumptruck just ran over me.......but I know I can handle it because I hate to say this...... , because other people would have it worse than I...........so I stop complaining. It's people like you, Dragon, that keeps me going by extending my support to you........wish I was there to give you a HUGE hug for the day. Hang in there, hon.........we're rooting for you. Hugs, Ramona
11/12/2009 11:49:11 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	I borrowed this from another member in Utah Chat. This is a good example..... Love ya guys! Hugs. Ramona Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes...
11/12/2009 12:26:07 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
dragonlady36 New Albany, IN age: 38	Quote from utahgal1: Sweetie......there's just no way for anyone to be compared on many levels because it's virtually impossible. We are apples and oranges........we feel/grieve/act/think/etc differently.......that is why our heavenly father created us so uniquely. I am so proud of you for quitting such addictive habit smoking........that's incredibly hard habit to quit.....and you found your inner strength to do it. Therefore, my heart goes out to you for struggling through your pain management dilemma. When my fibromyalgia acted up......I'm so sure it's NOTHING compared to your level of pain. Just take a minute, hour or even a day at a time........because I do too. I went shopping yesterday and I feel like a dumptruck just ran over me.......but I know I can handle it because I hate to say this...... , because other people would have it worse than I...........so I stop complaining. It's people like you, Dragon, that keeps me going by extending my support to you........wish I was there to give you a HUGE hug for the day. Hang in there, hon.........we're rooting for you. Hugs, Ramona Thanks (really!) Melanie
11/14/2009 11:09:36 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
4whlshoots8 Fayetteville, NC age: 39	Well hun, at one point I thought about deleting mine... Then I thought why should I run from the ones on here would I would only confront them if they were here in person. That is why I have yet to delete mine. I rarely come into the disabled group and generally post in other forums and constantly deal with trolls who will call me cripple or other infantile behavior when they disagree with me as I do not hide my disability. That can hurt many people but it only makes me stronger. When it comes to trying to meet someone I have given up on that with this site for like so many others DH seems more about hooking up and women just don't look for a guy in a chair for that not to mention I am not traveling to another state just for that. The computer age has not helped with disabled dating it has only made it easier for the predators to try and find easy targets and frankly disabled men and women need to be careful and watch for them... Hopes this explains a little bit about why those three and others have quite this site, as for me I never hid before and will not now.
11/14/2009 11:29:01 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
areaco Colton, CA age: 27	Hey I feel you sometimes I get fraustrated because I can't do something or can't find someone you just have to keep trying or find something more interesting to do in life I'm disabled and I have problems aswell but I'm a strong person so I get by
11/15/2009 6:40:44 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
bigbadklondyke Eaton, OH age: 46 online now!	Quote from 4whlshoots8: Well hun, at one point I thought about deleting mine... Then I thought why should I run from the ones on here would I would only confront them if they were here in person. That is why I have yet to delete mine. I rarely come into the disabled group and generally post in other forums and constantly deal with trolls who will call me cripple or other infantile behavior when they disagree with me as I do not hide my disability. That can hurt many people but it only makes me stronger. When it comes to trying to meet someone I have given up on that with this site for like so many others DH seems more about hooking up and women just don't look for a guy in a chair for that not to mention I am not traveling to another state just for that. The computer age has not helped with disabled dating it has only made it easier for the predators to try and find easy targets and frankly disabled men and women need to be careful and watch for them... Hopes this explains a little bit about why those three and others have quite this site, as for me I never hid before and will not now. AMEN brother but for those who try to take advantage watch out I bite back like a pitbull
11/17/2009 5:23:46 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
keeper39 Massillon, OH age: 47	Quiting DH has crossed my mind, but then I would not meet those freinds I am now getting mail from. I know first hand its hard when you have disabilities. People treat you either like an infant ora peria. Those of us on the disability side really want neither of those responses, we just want to be acepted for who we are.
11/17/2009 7:02:19 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
mk60047 Lake Zurich, IL age: 61	I find it very hard also, Once they find out you have disabilities, they start loosing interst because they're afraid that it may cramp they're style. I joind a few months ago,..just looking for a friend, and as soon as I tell them I have disabilites which I would not be able to join in some of their activities,..they bail out. But I am not a quiter and I will keep trying.. Hopefully I will find someone for friend and who knows,..theres always a possibility for more! (Keep Trying) and I can Relate to all.
11/27/2009 8:35:53 PM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
greyhnd Huntingburg, IN age: 55	There are times when I wonder if my disability is between my ears more than anywhere else. Of course it can be hard for disabled/handicapped people. It's no picnic for ordinary people. And.....those of us that are disabled are anything but ordinary. I think for the most part we have to try harder and with tht comes a special strength and integrity. I can still do most everything I did before I lost my leg, I just can't stay on my feet all day or chase down the neighbor kids ball or be comfortable on a step ladder. My best source of help has been friends and family, followed by my "leg man". I get up out of bed every morning and I know whether it will be a good or bad day. I also know one thing for certain, that no matter how bad my day is, someone out there has it much worse than I do.
11/29/2009 10:02:24 AM	Is It Really Hard For Some Of Us?
aromantic_heart Powell, TN age: 49	Sorry sweetie... I'm with the other disabled men on this one! I have tried a variety of other online dating sites and like them... I have just deleted and left the site for a number of reasons. Mainly lack of a womans genuine interest. Support online does little if nothing for a man that has testosterone and a basic human want, need and desire that goes unfullfilled. I have been single / divorced for the past 9 years and have not met or dated a single woman online let alone in the real world. I'm glad your at peace with yourself and being alone... sometimes I feel that way also... but then mother nature reminds me once again... That were not meant to go "it" alone... otherwise why would we feel like something is missing and want to even try to find someone to fill that void? I find alot of women use thier children to fill the void, pass the time... then suddenly they wake up and realize that the children are all now grown and gone and have thier own lives and now they want to take and make time for a man in thier own life! A disabled man has alot to give and alot to offer if only a woman would slow down long enuff to realize the trade off, compromises, benefits and rewards... A classic example would be that... 1. We can watch the children while your at work and offset your daycare expenses. 2. We can cook and clean the house, do the laundry so you don't have too. 3. We can help the children with thier homework or run them to a friends or a school event or social event. 4. We can do house repairs instead of you calling a stranger and paying a huge bill. 5. We can fix / repair the family car so you don't have to pay a dealership or a mechanic an outlandish rediculous amount of money to fix a $ 5.00 dollar part and $400.00 in labor. 6. We can spend more time together because we don't have conflicting work schedules and or lifestyles. 7. We have more time, freedom and liberties at hand to do all the things most people wish they could do, but can only do on vacation. 8. We can meet you at the door when you get home from work with a hug and a smile. 9. We can offer you lil surprises like a candle lite bubble bath awaiting you when you've had a bad day at work. 10. We can give you backrubs and or full body massages when your tired, achy and not feeling well. 11. We can serve you breakfast in bed. 12. We could surprise you and meet you for lunch... or a picnic in the park. 13. We can run the kids to the doctors office so you don't have to take time off from work because of a sick and or ill child. I could go on and on and on... but the point is simple. Do the math. Add "it" all up and ask yourself what you'd save and how much its worth to you? Somethings are priceless... and it seems todays modern woman underestimates the value and the worth a disabled man can bring to the table or into a household. Enuff said. [Edited 11/29/2009 10:03:21 AM PST]