| 1/4/2008 6:44:36 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
| Should couples live together for a while before marriage or wait until they are married?
What are your views and why? Which is more successful in your opinion??????
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| 1/4/2008 6:47:12 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
peachess
El Reno, OK
age: 41
| I don't think we need a piece of paper to tell us what commitment is anymore. This is not the "old days". I think if you love someone there is no boundaries for what's right anymore. You can live toghter, apart and sometimes even in seperate states lol...Just depends on the ppl involved and their degree of commitment. jmo
xoxoPeaches.
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| 1/4/2008 6:53:42 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
wiener67
Balsam Lake, WI
age: 41
| I've always said live together for a year, then you should know if it will work! So far its kept me from making a mistake!!
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| 1/4/2008 6:57:49 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
maxempire
Ogden, UT
age: 89
| Well hell yeah gota test drive the car befor you buy it.
[Edited 1/4/2008 6:58:15 AM]
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| 1/4/2008 6:58:16 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
inorbit
Seneca, MO
age: 56
| I totally agree with you peaches. A piece of paper does not mean anything except for more money for the state. If the couple believes in each other then go for it
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| 1/4/2008 7:04:55 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
kdivorced
Chester, VA
age: 35
| I dont think that people should live together before they get married unless they have already set a date and plans have been made. Other wise its called shacking up!LOL
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| 1/4/2008 7:06:09 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
houstonmale43
Houston, TX
age: 47
| well studies have shown that couples who live together prior to marriage have a higher divorce rate...you dont need "marriage" to be a happy couple...
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| 1/4/2008 7:09:44 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
kellyleed
Sumter, SC
age: 35
| My personal choice would be to live together before you get married
Like peachess said a paper will make no difference if the feelings are there
I have known couples that have lived together for years and then
decide to get married and most of them break up after a few months
because for some reason a piece of paper changed things between them.
I knew a couple that lived together for six years, married and were
divorced within six months, they got back together but didn't remarry
because marriage didn't work for the
Nice to see you back peachess
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| 1/4/2008 7:10:38 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
texas_belle
Red Rock, TX
age: 37
| My first thought is Yes, but being that I have kids... I wonder what kind of message I would be sending them. If the relationship was to the point of living together, I have to believe that our kids,( I believe that he will also have kids) will have spent alot of time together and it would all come naturally. Of coarse, that is in the future and who knows what that may hold.
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| 1/4/2008 7:17:51 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
prxf
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 51
| I think living together helps couples decide if they are right for each other before marriage. They learn more about each other than they would if they were apart prior to the big commitment.
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| 1/4/2008 7:25:47 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
stormygrl
Longmont, CO
age: 42
| I think living together first is a good idea - that way you can see if you can deal with them on a daily basis - you know like those annoying bad habits....better to find that out before you get married.
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| 1/4/2008 8:20:31 AM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
winesong
Bend, OR
age: 88
| I think it depends on the age bracket. If you are going to have children together, and this is the first marriage for both people it might have a different answer. Marriage and total committment...
If you are past 45 and have grown children...you might answer..
*I prefer to live together.* It is not based on much you LOVE someone..
If you are older....and settled in lifestyle you might live together for a period of time to see the *habits* and personality changes after co-habitation.
When you reach the golden age..I think then you might go back to the *marriage idea*again. That has to do with making a decision when in a medical environment.
The spouse can speak loud and clear..the *sig other* has little or no authority.
No authority if not in writing that is notorized.
Also, consider the financial attributes... when making marriage decisions.
Soc. Sec. and the IRS when you are filing taxes. Is it a marriage penalty or benefit? If married, the death benefit for the couple if HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope I have given you some different ideas..I have been there on each chapter.
So I do speak from personal experience.
Wine
Dream Weaver
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| 1/4/2008 12:58:10 PM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
irparis39
New York, NY
age: 48
| The following is a paper I had to write for my sociology class:
They should wait until marriage. I don't believe that living together helps you in determing anything before marriage. I think its interesting that even after living together divorce and separation is still 50% higher then if you had not lived together. Why is that if you supposedly know each other so well. That's because giving of oneself to a sexual partner is, by its nature, a gift of oneself to another person. We all have a deep longing to be cherished by the person we have sex with. That longing is not fooled by our pretensions to sophistication. Living together is similiar to dating with sex, but there's room to upgrade. Although this is the same in marriage, many may say, but that's not because of marriage but rather of our poor judge of character especially women who are emotional base creatures.
As for the car analogy: the car doesn’t have hurt feelings if the driver dumps it back at the used car lot and decides not to buy it. The analogy works great if you picture yourself as the driver. It stinks if you picture yourself as the car.
For testing a marriage, however, just the opposite is true!" All a man's ways seem right to him . . . " (Proverbs 21:2). A newly married couple makes a deliberate effort to accommodate each other because they know their relationship will be for life. They want to build compatibility, not test it. (Harley 1996). Walter Trobisch said that,"sex is no test of love, for it is precisely the very thing that one wants to test that is destroyed by the testing." Living together is the ultimate "female self-delusion". One of the 10 stupidest thing that woman buy into, but in essence it benefits the man, not a woman.
"Dating -- not living in -- is supposed to be about learning and discerning" about a prospective mate. The ‘commitment' of living together is simply a month-to-month rental agreement. "As long as you behave yourself and keep me happy, I'll stick around."
Marriage, on the other hand, is much more than a love partnership. It is a public event that involves legal and societal responsibilities. It brings together not just two people but also two families and two communities. It is not just for the here and now; it is, most newlyweds hope, 'till death do us part.' Getting married changes what you expect from your mate and yourself.
Premarital sexual attitudes and behavior do not change after one marries; if a woman lives with a man before marriage, she is more likely to cheat on him after marriage. Research indicates that if one is willing to experience sex before marriage, a higher level of probability exists that one will do the same afterwards. This is especially true for women; those who engaged in sex before marriage are more than twice as likely to have extramarital affairs as those who did not have premarital sex. Again because we are emotional base and men know exactly what to say to us especially when we're younger, experiencing difficulting in marriage/relationships and when we're older as the media portrays aging as a negative trait, thereby, we need to prove that we are in control, hence the explosion of plastic surgery booming in this country.
Another reason may be that those who cohabit drift from one partner to another in search of the ‘right' person. The average cohabitant has several partners (13) in a lifetime. Those relationships never develop a deeper sense of "oneness". Oneness is usually pursued within the next partner and the next and next, never committing to a more mature, spiritual, emotional, physical and mental relationship that fuses two people together and encourages each one to choose to be as "one".
Unfortunately, we listen to what society tells us, not recognizing that society on a whole is flawed and although has its belief system, but it can also fall away from that system by the right pretty words.
Paris
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| 1/4/2008 2:30:20 PM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
| Well, I don't think it really makes any difference. But I did read somewhere that people that live together first then get married have a higher divorce rate. My ex and I lived together for two years before we got married. After 12 years of marriage we divorced. Personaly I wouldn't live with a woman I wasn't planing on getting married to.
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| 1/4/2008 2:37:42 PM | Should people live together before marriage or wait until marriage | |
the_infamous1
Ridgeville, SC
age: 33
| well i'm OCD so i think it's only fair to the woman to live with me for awhile before we get married not a whole lot of people can put up with me and the way i have to have things done...and i can't put up with someone who doesn't try to understand and if not help at least cope with it..
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