Forums: Relationships: crazy timing
1/9/2008 4:04:12 PMcrazy timing 

chrisk1974
Bowling Green, OH
age: 34

after ten years of being single i've recently started looking for someone. today my x, who i haven't talked to since we broke up, called. she wanted to appoligize for what she did to me, and said she has done alot of growing up since we last spoke. she also informed me that she was moving back into my area soon, and would like to see me. am i reading too much into this? should i forget about it and tell her i don't want to see her? it's like i'm confused all over again. i want to believe her and give it a shot, but it hurt soooo bad last time i'm scared.

1/9/2008 4:09:07 PMcrazy timing 

garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48 online now!

I'd say it depends on what she did and if you can forgive. If it was cheating IMO don't go there..remember that hurt so you don't have to re live it. Then again if you actually saw her after all this time you may not want her back. Ultimately it is up to you. Good luck.

1/9/2008 9:27:50 PMcrazy timing 

chrisk1974
Bowling Green, OH
age: 34

ty for the advise. i have a little time to think about it. maybe ill call her back and let her know i'm having mixed emotions. maybe we can talk it out and figure out what to do.

1/9/2008 9:47:02 PMcrazy timing 

silver_rain1011
Springfield, VA
age: 22

Be cautious whatever you do. Sure you can meet up with her on a friends-catching-up basis but I would be wary about any ulterior motives she might have.

1/10/2008 7:23:50 PMcrazy timing 

chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47

I trust a person until they show me otherwise. Once that trust is broken it is extremely hard to gain that trust back for they were given that chance. Yes, people change but I am not willing to chance that. I gave too many chances while I was with them so all of sudden when I say enough is enough they want to try again. For me, I just couldn't do it. I'd be constantly wondering when the heartaches would begin because of the past.

1/10/2008 7:28:43 PMcrazy timing 

libra75
Garfield, AR
age: 32

I say go for it....

1/11/2008 7:30:17 AMcrazy timing 

winesong
Bend, OR
age: 88

My observation is your age and your last 10 years of being alone. You were injured, very
much subjected to pain and anger.


You also state, you have not found another person in the past
decade.

People at 23, do things that they might not do when they are 33.
Maturity is a wonderful thing...

I would make no preconceived plan today. You have the power on your side. Apparently you did nothing wrong, and you can set the theater for change between two people with acceptance, or rejection.

This is your power...retain your power.
To forgive is divine, to forget is seldom if ever accomplished.
Can you consider the PAST THE PAST??? You might be the exception to the rule...

As was suggested, I would want to see her in person. Have an open mind.
She might LOOK very different,(not to your satisfaction) and she might ACT different. You might not like her at all, or appreciate the way 10 years changes a person.

She MIGHT be looking for shelter and thinks you are the one with a spare bedroom
until she gets on her feet. Moving is expensive. Why would she move back to her past?
Most likely because the grass was not GREENER on her road of life...
remorse for what she gave up.

Does she have family to support her? Maybe she is moving back to be closer to them?

Good luck..I am sure this is a vexing question in your heart and mind...


Wine

1/11/2008 7:44:54 AMcrazy timing 

sebzalive1
Leesburg, AL
age: 80

Best wishes on what ever you decide. I am one to see many sides of a story.. toooo many most times. While 10 years is a long time and she truly could have lived a life that has caused her to readjust, it appears she hurt you powerfully all those years ago.

If you decide to rekindle, go slowly and observe.

1/11/2008 11:10:51 AMcrazy timing 

chrisk1974
Bowling Green, OH
age: 34

ty all. this has giving me ideas that i hadn't thought of. i know she isn't comming back to use me for a place to stay. she said shes saving up before she comes till she has enough for her own place. her family does live here, and if she needed somewhere to stay i'd point her to them before letting her stay here. i know me, and if she stayed here i'd be rushing in to fast. while her leaving was very painfull, it wasn't the only reason i've been single for so long. i am truly comfortable with myself, and just wanted to enjoy being single. ty all again for the advise. i will be sure to take it slow. i'm gonna stick with the assumption that at most we'll be freinds.