My first ever poem, what do you think?

1/11/2008 3:28:00 PM

My first ever poem, what do you think?

moonracer
Baker, LA
age: 21

1. wow, it made me cry

2. it was good

3. not as good as it could be

4. holy fuck that was horrible, my ears are bleeding!!!

lol, well like my song, i wanna see what public opinion thinks of this too, cuz this would be the feature poem in my poetry book i'm gonna have published if everyone likes it, or at least a couple. HERE IT IS!!!:

Love's Song

Silence!
This is my world,
A living silent film.
Everything's dark and grey;
No happiness, no joy,
No laughter, no love.
Only depression, sadness
Or sometimes nothing at all.
My life, a silent film.

A Song!
Faintly blowing through the breeze.
I follow it, searching desparately,
for this moment of excitement.
Night and day,
Hardly eating or drinking,
Never sleeping,
I run towards the music,
Until i reach my destination.

Alas!
I enter the room,
and listen as hard as I can
To the song taht found its way to me,
But nothing I could hear.
Only a woman in the room,
Beautiful as the sun is bright,
Sitting in a chair
Crying her soul away.

Love!
I walk to her, hugging her,
And wipe her tears away.
Our eyes meet; a bright light shines,
But it's not her face that lights up.
I look down and see her heart burning red.
It's then I notice my own burning heart,
As I draw closer to her,
Entering her embrace, my lips touching hers.

Rebirth!
The song I hear, stronger than before.
'Twas not a song of the lips, but of the heart.
A new life has begun, one that we share,
As our hearts sing in harmony.
We never let go, the kiss never ending.
A new world now do we live in;
One with color, with love, with life.
One with our song, singing until the end of time.

1/11/2008 3:33:48 PM

My first ever poem, what do you think?