Forums: Dating General Discussion: When Is The Time Right?
1/15/2008 5:41:46 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

cali4niagrneyes
Los Angeles, CA
age: 41

I know that most men would say that after meeting online, that contacting eachother in person should be ASAP. On the other hand, myself as a lady being cautious...I think it should be after a few conversations on the phone, emailing, etc...after you get that feeling that he/she could be safe. That is just the way that I see it because I have not been doing this for that long.

And of course, there must be some kind of chemistry between both parties.

Do you think that is being to careful...or am I right on?

I would like to know the opinions of male and female. Be honest ~

Thanks in advance and good luck to you all...

Lisa in Venice ~

1/15/2008 5:52:29 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

brwnsugar59
Albuquerque, NM
age: 48

Take your time, if you aren't ready to meet don't let anyone rush you. JMO

1/15/2008 6:05:21 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

like_i_need_one
Bishop, CA
age: 40

is it comparable to meeting someone at the grocery store?

I think that predators are just as prevalent anywhere you go.

use the same caution you would other places.

or your could ask them to get a record check a the local PD and email a pic of it...

1/15/2008 6:09:33 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34

I've had some women want to talk and meet me ASAP. There is no magical formula, it's all ABOUT THE VIBE you have with the person. If you are really diggin the guy and he's diggin you, then go for it.

Life is a gamble. You win some, you lose some. Some people are too cautious and miss out while others are somewhat cautious and gain something. It all depends ON WHO YOU ARE WORKING WITH. There is nothing wrong with being careful, just be sure to eliminate the ones you feel that are BSing, and putting on a front and or lying. Of course don't talk or meet them.

But if there's obvious chemistry after one, some conversation(s), there is nothing wrong with phone convo, then meeting up somewhere. What's the worst thing that can happen meeting at a public place and or contacting a guy if you prefer to *67?



[Edited 1/15/2008 6:11:29 PM]

1/15/2008 6:13:10 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

libby0422
Baltimore, MD
age: 54

It's definitely a "follow your gut" kind of thing. I'm kind of new to doing this online, but for many years (a lot of the 70's and 80's) I met men through classified ads (and ultimately met my husband that way!). In all that time, I NEVER met anyone who creeped me out! Yes, I met some frogs, but they were pleasant and harmless frogs. I always talked with them enough on the phone to have a good feeling. I would go to the meeting knowing that even if there was no physical attraction we could have a pleasant conversation. The other thing is I always arranged a meeting where I arrived on my own and left on my own, in a public place, and often at lunch or right after work. I've just recently separated and started meeting people this way, and it doesn't seem any different. I would not give out my last name or address before actually meeting anyone (granted I know with a phone number they could do a reverse number look up) but I'm not paranoid enough to block my number. Hope that's helpful.

1/16/2008 10:27:10 AMWhen Is The Time Right? 

gregcap33
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 34

Meet quickly for coffee at Starbucks to see if there is chemistry and a good feeling. Drive your own car so you can get away if needed.

No need to waste MUCH time chatting and talking over the phone to find out their is no chemistry in person. Been there done that way too many times.



Also.... I`d recommend everyone posts recent, clear pictures of themselves.. and not just their face. The other person is gonna see what you really look like in person and feel deceived by your inaccurate pics. I`ve had this happen too many times.

I`m not shalow, but if you are 75lbs heavier or look completely different than your pic I`m gonna walk just for trying to deceive me.

1/16/2008 2:46:41 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

stormie_temp
Fresno, CA
age: 36

Personally, I find it hard to get to know someone over the computer. If there seems to be an interest I would like to meet as soon as possible.

If you meet in a public place it isn't any less safe than showing interest in someone while out at say a bar or somewhere. Of course there are risks both ways. But, I don't see any way to avoid those risks other than never venturing out of the house (and if you believe anything you see in the scarey movies, even staying home isn't even safe!)

1/16/2008 5:02:01 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

lawrence084
Honolulu, HI
age: 41

My opinion.

Meet as soon as possible.

As soon as you feel safe about a meeting.

I have met women the same day as the intial email and I have met some a year later.

But then again. I am not going to stop dating until there is a commitment.

So if you are one of those people who stop dating as soon as the communications is flowing with someone, then you should meet a.s.a.p. Because you could be waisting months of your time with someone that doesn't fit their profile and you have no idea until you meet.

1/16/2008 5:10:58 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

kelatious
Lubbock, TX
age: 38

Wow,cali4,

Good post and good thread. All who've replied so far read your post and gave sensible answers. There is hope out there!

It's just up to you. Personally, I'd say take it nice and slow.....you'll know when you're ready to meet someone. You'll just feel that spark when it happens...after all, you're not runnin' a race.

1/16/2008 6:20:18 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

floyeeyy
Riverside, CA
age: 39

Cali i would say that if you have current pictures from the one you are talking to then take your time because you will know when its time and if the feelings are right to meet.I have only met one person from this site and the pictures were doctored up or old as heck because she was not what the pictures were.Good luck.....



[Edited 1/16/2008 6:20:36 PM]

1/16/2008 6:28:54 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

just1lacey
Tallahassee, FL
age: 28

I'll meet a person on the first day if we can meet at the police station or better yet at waffle house. I love waffle house! that's if they buyin! i need to stop

1/16/2008 7:28:28 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

lawrence084
Honolulu, HI
age: 41

Lacey...

I'll meet you at the police station.

Now what is a good crime to commit? ummmmmmmmm One that doesn't require me to share a cell with "Tiny or Bubba".

1/16/2008 7:47:40 PMWhen Is The Time Right? 

cali4niagrneyes
Los Angeles, CA
age: 41

That is oen thing that I don't have to worry about, is recent pics...thank god I am who I say I am.....well I hope thats a good thing. Because it would be akward meeting someone looking unlike what they put in their profile. Thats like buying something online (clothes) and it just doesn't look that great once it arrives, nothing like you imagined..LOL


Damn I better quit while I'm ahead, I'm not making sense anymore...LOL

Lisa