Forums: Chat Room: Book i'm writing, what do you think?
1/16/2008 9:21:52 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

moonracer
Baker, LA
age: 21

well through many MANY connections, i was given an offer to write a book, and if its approved by the publishing company, they'll help me to get it published nationwide. BUT, IT HAS TO BE A GOOD STORY!!!!! which is where i think everyone could do good in helping me =^-^=. Before i can write a book, i need a good prologue imo to set the basis for the storyline and get my creative mine in overhaul gear. this is one of many ideas i have though, and wondered what everyone thought of it:
===========================================================================
Narmena Storyline


Prologue:

War! As if by overnight, a mysterious army has invaded the grand continent of Bushadan, with their sights on the Great Capital of Islan. The Grand Capital, protective of its country, sends out their best troops to meet with this new force, in hopes of a quick victory, for this was the capital's elite force, and Islan has never lost before. The battle was short, however, as the mysterious army, proclaiming to have come from the netherrealm, made quick work of Islan's army, leaving none alive.


It has been a month since then, and "The Underworld Army" as Islan has dubbed them, is now within earshot of the Grand Capital, having tore a path of destruction on their way, killing countless numbers of countrymen, entire villages. Having exhausted nearly all of their options, Islan's entire army has collected into the city, in a final attempt to defeat this great threat...



[Edited 1/16/2008 4:27:00 PM]

1/16/2008 9:51:58 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

moonracer
Baker, LA
age: 21

lol, nobody interested in it?

1/16/2008 9:56:39 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

lorlie
Eugene, OR
age: 52

Moon, I read all the time. You caught my intrest right away
with the prologue, and that is what I read when purchasing a
book. So good job and I think you are on your way to a good book.
Would love to read it when your are done. But don't wait too long
I am not gonna live forever. Keep us posted on the book.


1/16/2008 10:07:35 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

moonracer
Baker, LA
age: 21

actually i had planned on doing that, by posting it chapter by chapter if thats alright with some of the people on here, for approval.

1/16/2008 10:10:23 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

lorlie
Eugene, OR
age: 52

I would look forward to reading a chapter every day or so.
Others would too, once they realized it is some good reading.
Good idea. You are a bright young man. Good to see this.


1/16/2008 11:41:18 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

moonracer
Baker, LA
age: 21

heheh, i just hope i can live up to my i guess budding reputation on here as a writer

1/16/2008 11:44:02 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

dragonrider44
Olympia, WA
age: 45

nice moon keep it going

1/16/2008 11:49:20 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

moonracer
Baker, LA
age: 21

=^-^=

1/16/2008 5:21:13 PMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

mustang_sally59
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 49

First of all, congratulations on your book deal. Some people have all the luck.

Secondly, you might want to consider posting it in the Groups/Reading and Literature Forum. You might get more responses, especially if you plan to post a chapter at a time. I hope you're aware, though, of how easily someone could steal your idea and your writing and run with it. I always include a copyright, but I'm not sure that does any good.

Third, because I'm a picky grammar perfectionist, I wanted to point some things out to you. Please don't be offended, I'm only trying to help. I've been told I'm a 'natural' writer, but I'm certainly not an expert.

As if by overnight -- this would sound better if you said... Seemingly overnight ...

The Grand Capital, protective of its country, sends out their -- I think the 'their' should be 'its' ?

"It has been a month since then, and "The Underworld Army" as Islan has dubbed them, is now within earshot of the Grand Capital, having tore a path of destruction on their way, killing countless numbers of countrymen, entire villages ..."

This sentence may sound better something like this: In the ensuing month, "The Underworld Army" as Islan has dubbed them, has come within earshot (not sure this is the right word) of the Grand Capital, having left a path of destruction in their wake, killing countless numbers of countrymen and laying waste to entire villages.

1/17/2008 1:01:13 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

smileingheart
Bellingham, WA
age: 41

Moon it is awsome ,you are a great and very passionate writer.I love your work

1/17/2008 1:05:39 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

nashoba_miko
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 39

Keep up the good work!!! Me and mine are avid readers....just let me know where u decide to post the chapters.

1/17/2008 3:39:51 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

moonracer
Baker, LA
age: 21

=^-^= sally, i plan on posting it in there as well, but heheh just wanted to see what my fans in the chatroom thought of it. as far as copyright goes, i have that protected, and anyone who tries to steal it will face the wrath of my lawyers. and i would greatly appreciate it if you kinda went grammar nut on my work as I go through it, would certainly help me as I run through the book.

and ty smileing, =^-^= hehe my fans luv me

and miko, you can count on me to do so, believe it!



[Edited 1/17/2008 3:40:34 AM]

1/17/2008 8:03:47 AMBook i'm writing, what do you think? 

aboomer
Hot Springs National Park, AR
age: 50

Why doncha write a book about earl and bubba running around the country trying desperately to win a bass fishing tournament. Ever watched any TK & MIKE videos? On second thought forget the Earl & Bubba fishing fiasco. Just write one about some young stud that has all the old broads lined up and has a different hump job every night and how they give him money and cars and expensive gifts to keep him coming back to their bed. Kinda like a reverse Lolita. That way you`ll be able to fanasize and you`ll have a guaranteed market with all the OLD BROADS who can only dream about getting reamed every night If you ask, maybe the OLD BROADS, WILL EVEN WRITE IT FOR YOU and then all you have to do is take credit, and the cash, for it. LMBAO



[Edited 1/17/2008 8:15:20 AM]