| 1/24/2008 9:39:00 AM | Im getting tired of it | | gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| hmmmmm maybe you should ask youself this - if you don't need it, then why are you doing it? (JMO and I don't mean that in a BAD or negative way so nobody jump my shit) I'm just saying....I sort of wasted 7 long years waiting on a guy I REALLY loved....it may have been stupid of me but I did it. He was a really GREAT guy but a good and caring man on here pointed out to me what I was doing...
so I'm trying to say to you....
ask youself why are you doing this?
Cuz you don't have to!
| | 1/24/2008 9:40:14 AM | Im getting tired of it | | 
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Lets say hypotheticly she would lose this loser of and ex.and she comitted to me.Would you go for her? I guess that would be a recipe for disaster and I should be committed my self. LoL!!!!!! Just thought I'd throw that out for conversations sake !
| | 1/24/2008 9:43:11 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| I know gone sailing, I ask my self that . I have too many good friends to put up with her crap.
| | 1/24/2008 9:45:32 AM | Im getting tired of it | | gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| This is (again) JMO, but I don't think even IF she did supposedly smarten up now... for REAL this is how you WANT to spend your life?
I mean YOUR LIFE?!?!?!
Good God not me.
But then, gee, maybe that's why I'm divorced and not married in the 1st place...cuz I didn't want to spend my life like that...
There's better stuff out there - go find it!
And....live long and prosper
| | 1/24/2008 9:48:32 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Thanks gone sailing, right again. I need to smarten up and relise what I have in front of me in this new girl I've met.Whata dummy I am !!!
| | 1/24/2008 9:51:00 AM | Im getting tired of it | | 
nightowl64
Fallon, NV
age: 44
| Two words for you Mike… “Emotional Parasite” Sounds to me like this girl want’s to keep you in “limbo” just like her “ex” is keeping her. She wants you to be the “single” guy she can use as a security blanket when her life goes to shit. My advice would be to stop contact with her all together, you don’t need that kind of friend.
Go get a flea collar and let her find a new dog. 
| | 1/24/2008 9:54:26 AM | Im getting tired of it | | bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
| Welkie,
Even if she looses the ex, you still don't need her in your life. She is a train wreck. Trust me.....you have all the signs of a Knight in Shining armor. You want to slay all her dragons in exchange for her love. When she is with you, you will give her all kinds of compliments to make her feel better about herself. But the problem with that is...you won't really have anythi8ng in common with her. Then, once she feels confidant she will feel she doesn't need you anymore. She will dump you at that point.
I found out the hard way too. Knights in shining armor get slayed by the women they save.
| | 1/24/2008 9:57:06 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Youre too funny, nightowl ! LOOOOOOL!!!!!!!! Yes youre right. I read that in other forum posts about the niceguy as a security blanket. In fact I copied a good thing off a forum post about this subject,and even sent it to her. I will post i momentarily.It is a good read !!!!!!!!!
| | 1/24/2008 10:00:05 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Heres the post I was refering to, it sums it all up!
I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.
What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f**king treated you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"
Well, once again, you did.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an a**hole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f**ked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't f**king want you, now.
Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
| | 1/24/2008 10:04:27 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| You're right bassman, and exactly fear the things you say.It sounds like you found out the hard way. I have read alot of other posts about this same sort of thing.It seems like it always ends in disaster.
| | 1/24/2008 10:05:54 AM | Im getting tired of it | | lovesillusion11
Moab, UT
age: 25
| i would have to agree with the post explaining where all the nice guys went...... same thing happend with the women i think! once again it's a two way street on most issues men and women have..... we just complain about differnt things at different times...
| | 1/24/2008 10:26:22 AM | Im getting tired of it | | bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
| Welkie,
Women like that are attracted to strong men. The probelm is it isn't real love. You might love her, but she won't love you. Just stay away from her. You want the kind of woman that can stand on her own two feet....a woman that will compliment you. You want a 50/50 relationship. In a relationship with her you will be always giving and she will be always taking. The problem is...you are such a nice, strong guy you won't even notice that you aren't getting anything out of the relationship.
---------------------
And Loves,
What do you mean the same thing happened to nice women? Women have NEVER been nice.
| | 1/24/2008 10:55:09 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Right again Bassman.I don't need that type of relationship. I know that i can do so much better than that.
| | 1/24/2008 10:56:44 AM | Im getting tired of it | | 
landing007
Palmyra, NY
age: 55
| Welk - you have already spent way too much time thinking this through, listen to your DH brothers. You'll end up on the rocks with this gal - got for gal #2, you'll be a much happier guy.
Good luck to ya;
| | 1/24/2008 11:01:48 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Thanks landing and everybody for the great advice! Everybody feels the same way.So I guess I just have to go and put it to good use. Like they say......You can lead horse to water but can't make him drink....... I just have to stop being so stupid and listen now.
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