| 1/24/2008 6:36:15 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Hi, everyone this is the first thread I've started, but need to vent and possibly get some advice.See, I met this girl on another dating site about two weeks before Christmas.We have been out a few times and really hit it off.Now she tells me that she can't be any more than just friends right now.See she has recently broken off a relationship in which she was seeing another man for thirteen years,and her heart is still with this man.She tells me how he always promised to leave his parents and start a life with her but never could.I believe he is now about her age of 47.Anyway,she stayed in limbo all those years, also suffering abuse from this man.This man also supposedly never had her over to his parent's house,and never introduced her to the parents !How can you be with someone this long and never meet the parents? Sounds strange to me!Anyway,I said sure we can be friends, but I would date other people.Well, I met a very nice girl on this site.We have gone out about three times now.Well, anytime I'm out with the new girl,this other one calls 5 to 6 times during the date.I mean,WTF,if you have no interest in me other than friends, why the barage of calls when I'm with someone else? I mean, I could ignore the calls, but try to be polite and take them.Is she Jealous, and playing some kind of game ? Yes, I like her and wished it could be more than friends.Something else she has done, is follow me around to other dating sites, when I tell her I'm trying another one.She tells me again that she is going to try again with this ex.of her's.Okay, if she's that stupid,then that's her business,why keep showing this interesst in me,though.I can't continue to wait on her, and these actions on her part, that come across as jealousy ,are driving me crasy. Whats a nice guy to do ?I mean my prophile even says no head games ! 
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| 1/24/2008 6:41:08 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
sea_dragon
Crystal River, FL
age: 31
| I would cut off ties with the old and stick with the new. She had her chance and explain that to her. She is definitely playing games. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. It sounds to me that you wouldn't want her for a relationship anyways with the games she is already playing.
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| 1/24/2008 6:43:06 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
drummaster777
Auburn, WA
age: 33
| It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, which is pretty common with women. She needs to get her head on straight. She wants you to wait around for her which you shouldn't do. If I were you, I wouldn't be taking her calls if you're on a date with another person. In fact, I might not take them at all except maybe every once in a while to see how she's doing. Just because she can't figure out what she wants doesn't mean you shouldn't be living your life.
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| 1/24/2008 6:48:07 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Yes, that's what my instincts tell me. She goes on and on about how nice a guy I am and would want be with me. If thats true, then why go back to this loser that has wasted 13 years of her life! The new girl I met is super, and really likes me. I have told her the situation and told her that we should be friends right now as well. I really don't want to hurt her and know that I will lose her if I continue with these other shenanagans
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| 1/24/2008 6:48:46 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
katiescarlett72
Justin, TX
age: 35
| "I mean, I could ignore the calls, but try to be polite and take them."
I'm confused. How is it polite to take phone calls during a date?
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| 1/24/2008 6:49:32 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
drummaster777
Auburn, WA
age: 33
| You should go with your instincts then. That's what I would do.
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| 1/24/2008 6:50:43 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| You're right, Katie. It's really stupid on my part and need to stop taking them.
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| 1/24/2008 6:53:07 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Your'e right drumaster. Do you think I will lose her friendship though?
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| 1/24/2008 6:57:59 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
stormilove
Norman Park, GA
age: 46
| Who cares if you lose her friendship. With friends like that who needs enemies. Let her go she wants her cake and eat it too. You can defenitely find better friends than that and you don't want to mess up a relationship with someone new because she is your baggage I am sorry thats the only way to put it politely. You need to run as far as you can from this girl. Stormi
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| 1/24/2008 6:59:28 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Thanks Stormie ,I needed to hear that.
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| 1/24/2008 7:00:07 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
drummaster777
Auburn, WA
age: 33
| If you do lose her friendship, that's not your fault and it's not your problem. Why should you be expected to wait around for her while she decides whether or not she wants to leave her jerk boyfriend? Women do this crap ALL THE TIME!! You have absolutely no obligation to put up with it. Live your life!
I would be upfront and tell her that you're going to be seeing someone else. If you still would like to hear from her sometimes and talk and be friends, tell her that, but make sure she knows you're involved with someone else as far as dating goes. If she abuses that and keeps calling you 10 times a day, cut her off completely. Enjoy yourself with your new lady!
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| 1/24/2008 7:01:09 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
katiescarlett72
Justin, TX
age: 35
| I'm not saying it's stupid. I'm saying that this woman has gotten under your skin to the point where you are not using your best judgment and your view of things is a little skewed. When this happens, I find that it's useful to try to turn the tables on your thinking.
For example, look at it this way: If you were on a date with woman B, and her cell phone rang 6 times and she took the calls, what would you think? How would it make you feel?
If your son (if you have one) had been seeing a woman that he was really into, and she suddenly told him that she just couldn't disentangle herself from an abusive relationship and just wanted to be friends, yet continued to disrupt his life in a rather "Fatal Attraction" way, what would you tell him? To take her calls, or file for a restraining order?
The best way to check whether we're in too deep, is to think whether we would stand for a loved one being treated the way we're being treated.
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| 1/24/2008 7:04:44 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
collide64
Janesville, WI
age: 43
| If you are tired of it, leave it. You already know what to do. Sea Dragon is right along with everyone else. Just tell her the truth, "have a nice life, stay out of mine" JMO
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| 1/24/2008 7:05:03 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| Yes, drumaster.My new lady friend says the same thing.And yes, Katie, you make some great points.
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| 1/24/2008 7:07:20 AM | Im getting tired of it | |
welkiemike
Dundalk, MD
age: 46
| I know collide, I just hate to hurt peoples feelings. I think I'm too nice a guy for my own good !
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