Forums: Relationships: Girls please tell
2/1/2008 12:03:57 AMGirls please tell 

pinky86
Sherman, TX
age: 22

Why is it that girls want a nice guy. but when they find the nice guy they dont even take a chance. I just get called a pushover or i am TO nice. Ladies please i dont under stand how yall think nr will i ever. So why want a nice guy if your to picky to take a nice guy or push over.

2/1/2008 5:40:15 AMGirls please tell 

lovesillusion11
Moab, UT
age: 25

it's not that your not a nice guy..... you just didn't fit into her deffinition of a nice guy.... everyone looks at that different..

i don't think a guy who does EVERYTHING for me is nice.... i like to do things on my own as well..... and an understanding of that is in my eyes what is nice....

as far as being a push over... girls tend to test men..... i think men do girls as well...... pick your battles (good or bad battles) and do what feels right to you.

2/1/2008 5:43:59 AMGirls please tell 

crowdog3
Ponca City, OK
age: 34

Comin from a guy this is what i have learned about being a nice guy...


You don't want too be too nice too the ladies, cause then they won't feel needed and loved,

A woman wants too know that in some ways her man does need her for things besides just sex,

Yes they like too be pampered, but don't over due it, if yer too nice and it makes the women feel like she is not wanted,

well then she will pass you on by and go find someone that makes her feel wanted

2/1/2008 5:50:03 AMGirls please tell 

tommyblue
Louisville, KY
age: 26

Humans who have not grown spiritually are victim to the "lower nature".

This means your average girl is prone to want the bad boy. He's sexy, powerful and rich.
The world approves of him, glorifies him.

The same applies to the inverse: sluts are put on a pedestal. Porn starlets actually feel glamorous.

So......It takes mad courage to rise above this with critical thinking and reflection.

I almost demand you read "influence" by Robert Cialdini. For me, it finally answered the questions you keep asking. It explains the little shortcuts our brains take when you choose not to think critically about someone.

Nice guys are not a challenge. Bad boys make the girls fight for their attention. They are impasse about speaking to them or seeing them. Girls who are drowned in attention all day love this.

For example, I work in a place full of beautiful girls. My policy is not to date girls at work. The girls know its my policy. While guys who are much more buff than me try to sleep with them and fail.....they throw signals at me and flirt constantly. Why? I'm unattainable.

It has nothing to do with my charm or looks. Its why you will get hit on by women if you wear a fake wedding ring out to a bar. I encourage you to do that once to see its true. Just don't mislead or play any of the girls.

2/1/2008 6:08:56 AMGirls please tell 

lovesillusion11
Moab, UT
age: 25

crow i think what it is... from my point of view is working together... but it all depends on who the two people are..... i have dated very different but very alike people....

i have been with guys who arn't nice and guys who are "too" nice.... finding a ballance is a hard thing to do.. i don't know about everyone else but my personality changes and moods change... depending on lifes little things..... just because over all i like something.... don't mean i ALWAYS want it right then and there.. i like other things too...i think being in a relationship is all about adjusting.... because as life goes on things sometimes change....

like me and my sis don't get along real well... she still thinks i should like and do everything the same as when i was 5....... and i have changed a lot since then.... i have changed a lot in the past 6 months.... because of different experiences and life changes.... if any of that makes sense

2/1/2008 6:12:30 AMGirls please tell 

crowdog3
Ponca City, OK
age: 34

In other words lovin yer sayin a relationship is give and take, it's like life, you have too be able too adjust too any situation that comes up, in life, we must be willing too take that extra step too change, or else things will be boring, and we or the person we are with at that time, will not want too be around any longer?

2/1/2008 6:16:21 AMGirls please tell 

lovesillusion11
Moab, UT
age: 25

yeah pretty much... there is some conflict on that subject too as well though.. because in time some people who eventually drift apart... end up saying... well you changed me.. and in a relationship i think everyone changes... or should be open to changing.....and really life changes you.... the diff life you are in together compared to the life you were in single...

2/1/2008 6:20:38 AMGirls please tell 

crowdog3
Ponca City, OK
age: 34

People can't change other folks, you have too change yerself in life,

without change life would be dull and so would a relationship, too change in a relationship can be either good or bad, depending on how YOU as a person wants too change it,

2/1/2008 7:20:13 AMGirls please tell 

ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!

The only constant in life is change...

2/1/2008 8:08:58 AMGirls please tell 

nambrosia
Attleboro, MA
age: 26

I must admit to falling victim to wanting that bad boy. It's more like I'm attracted to the alternative look (tats, piercings, etc) and just keep hoping there'll be a nice guy underneath all that black...lol. I've only been in one long term relationship and it was with that guy the acts like an ass with his friends but when he talked with me he was fabulous and the epitomy of the "nice guy". Turns out he actually was an ass at the core and mentally abused me for frickin years. Honestly it turned me for a damn loop and i didn't touch anyone for years after.

Now I'm looking again, willing to try again, and all i'm getting are guys who act like the nice guys but who end up being SO f*cked. There is the possibility I myself am far to nice...

2/1/2008 8:41:44 AMGirls please tell 

nashoba_miko
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 39

Pinky, why dont you just flat out ask her what she is looking for in a guy. Then tell her that you have this problem...that you like this girl and you dont know how to go about it................then LISTEN.