| 2/9/2008 11:11:25 AM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
magicmanooo7
Pineville, LA
age: 34
| If you were involved with someone for a brief period and things started going getting serious really fast. then they were to tell you that they loved you more than they ever loved anyone in previous relationships, but they were scared to get involved in a serious relationship with you,so they stopped everything. but they would still call about 1 or 2 times a week "just to hear your voice", then naturally the conversations would get intense about each others feelings..but still, no progress. would you do?
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| 2/9/2008 11:16:52 AM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
wileyguy
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 37
| seems that you want different things.in this case,you are just pacifying each other.if it's not progressing as you want,then just be truthful and say you want more or none at all.no sense in being in limbo.
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| 2/9/2008 11:17:11 AM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
sweetbunny13
West Lorne, ON
age: 38
| I would ask the other person to step back and look at the situation through a different perspective, let them know how you feel and be honest. If that doesn't work, I would explain to the other person that since they do not feel the same way as you, you would prefer to end the relationship. If the feelings are really true, that person will realize that in time and you can discuss a future relationship then. You must give it a good try to make this work - 3 weeks minimum. No phone calls, no dates, don't even pass by and wave - no contact for 3 weeks. "If you really love something set it free, if it comes back to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was!"
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| 2/9/2008 11:30:24 AM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
magicmanooo7
Pineville, LA
age: 34
| she wants to be friends, but says shes scared to get serious. scared of getting hurt..i dunno
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| 2/9/2008 11:45:01 AM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
sweetbunny13
West Lorne, ON
age: 38
| Certainly possibly, have you asked her that? The main building block of any relationship is communication! You need to talk to her and find out how she feels, keep an open-mind though and really listen to what she saying. Take a moment to process the information she gave you, then tell her honestly how you feel about that! If your relationship doesn't have good communication then you have to decide whether that's a relationship you want, or are you willing to see a counsellor with her to improve the situation? It sounds to me like you need to decide what you want before you can move forward.
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| 2/9/2008 11:51:15 AM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
chrisk1974
Bowling Green, OH
age: 34
| really depends on what you're willing to do. you may be willing to be patient, stay freinds, and show her that you don't intend to hurt her. it may take time, but may be the only way to gain her trust. problem is it may end up getting you hurt. i've had women say the same thing, only to find out they were seeing someone else, and just didn't know how to tell me. i'm not saying shes is doing that, i have no way of knowing if shes sincere. it seems you're not rushing into a decition, so i think you're on the right path.
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| 2/9/2008 11:56:27 AM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
cjbaker
Decatur, AL
age: 38
| I would think that she was afraid of getting hurt... so I would just let time take it's course. I would just let her have her space, that way she won't feel pressured or smoothered.
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| 2/9/2008 12:10:32 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
jaxflorida
Jacksonville, FL
age: 54
| "would think that she was afraid of getting hurt... so I would just let time take it's course. I would just let her have her space, that way she won't feel pressured or smoothered."
cjbaker I think has the correct approach. You could also be a good friend, listen to her, let her know you're there but don't chase after her.
Maybe talk about other things rather than your relationship.
[Edited 2/9/2008 12:14:38 PM]
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| 2/9/2008 12:27:10 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
twodogs44
Terre Haute, IN
age: 64
| Send her a recording of your voice! She can't turn you down and hang on to you at the same time. If she is afraid of getting hurt, she should have not got into your life and heart in the first place.
Sorry ladies, but there is a lot of this that goes on. If one does not want to be hurt then why do they do it to others!
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| 2/9/2008 2:08:29 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
magicmanooo7
Pineville, LA
age: 34
| great points...all of them. we do have communication..lots of it when we talk..we tell each other how we feel, and well, thats when it all starts..lol, patience, YES..i have plenty of that..ive told her i wouldnt call her because i dont want to pressure her, i told her to call me if she wants to talk or needs anything. the comment about seeing someone else, i dunno about that one..who knows, im not a fly on her wall. as far as she shouldnt have gotten involved in the first place, well..it was supposed to be just a "weekend fling", but got much much deeper really fast.
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| 2/9/2008 3:07:57 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
harley68
San Antonio, TX
age: 39
| hey magic  - all i can say is just hang in there, she needs to work a few things out for herself. You're a great guy and I'm sure she knows that.
Everything worth having is worth fighting for and waiting for.
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| 2/9/2008 3:24:36 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 45
| DUDE, Don't wait. You might be waiting for the rest of your life. Continue being a friend and at the same time distance your heart from her.
She's not ready for you. Who knows when she will be. Don't waste any more time on it. Keep the door open for her to come back in when she feels good about it. Hopefully IF she decides to come in you will still be available. If not, well that the way the ball bounces. Poop or get off of the pot! No sense sitting there and waiting if nothing is coming from it.
Move on...
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| 2/9/2008 3:53:29 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
| LMAO. I always say, actions always, always, always, always, speak louder than words. Don't get played. Move on. You tell her that your time is valuable. She's an adult right? Tell her your time is valuable.
She's currently playing games. Hell, she may have someone else on the side. You may just be a rebound. Who knows. You can't believe everything everyone tells you ESPECIALLY WHEN THINGS DON'T ADD UP. 
So you have nothing to lose by telling her that your time is valuable and when she makes up her mind about what she wants to do then she can call you when she's ready full circle not just here and there. Again, tell her your time is valuable and you don't like to sit twiddling your fingers waiting on progress.
In the meantime, tell her you have other prospects that you can talk to in the meantime that may develop into a relationship. At this point, the ball is in her court. She will either step up her game to you or flake out. The REAL HER WILL COME TO THE FORE-FRONT after you tell her this. Step it up a notch homie. Many men fall victim to that game. Don't let it be you. 
If the roles were reversed, don't you think she would think something would be possibly going on with you?
This is just my opinion. I don't believe in "I'm not ready, I need time, only talking to you for 1-2 times a week, etc..." Ultimately, people know what they want and really know what they want to do." Often times these excuses give one a way to prospect other potential dates, and or they may be working out a current relationship, and like I said you could be a rebound until she makes her mind up of what she really wants to do etc.. etc..
Bottom line, you can still have communication throughout the week if she wants to take it slow.
[Edited 2/9/2008 3:59:03 PM]
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| 2/9/2008 3:57:02 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
katiescarlett72
Justin, TX
age: 35
| "If you really love something set it free, if it comes back to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was!"
I thought it was "If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it."
:: shrug ::
OP, tell her to give you a call when she gets over her phobia, and if you're still available you can talk then. Until then, cya. Unless you've left a lot out of your story you've done nothing to deserve being treated like an emotional axe murderer.
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| 2/9/2008 3:59:19 PM | What would you do?? Ladies/Men opinions appreciated | |
janiejane
Albany, GA
age: 56
| I'd probably would think she is leading you on. Of course she may truly be scared of another serious relationship and I think she does not want to lose you. If she only calls 1 or 2 times a week just tell the woman you happend to be busy and you can't talk to her right now 
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