Forums: Dating General Discussion: I need ergent advice!!!!!
2/15/2008 7:06:09 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

babybreeze20
Owosso, MI
age: 21

Who thinks its possible for a woman to have a healthy normal relationship after sexual abuse as a child ?

2/15/2008 7:06:59 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

nashoba_miko
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 39

Me.

2/15/2008 7:16:55 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

kelito
Fruitland Park, FL
age: 23

 I GUESS IS BEEN REALLY HARD FOR U BUT LIFE KEEP ON GOING AND U HAVE TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT IT EVEN IF IS HARD

2/15/2008 7:17:14 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

easygoin68
Crawford, NE
age: 39

Has your abuser been brought to justice? Do you participate with other survivors? Have you went to counseling? I just about married a woman who sexually abused by her father. She finally faced her issues, and therapy. She is very happy now, very rough getting there. So, yes I think healthy relationship can be had.

2/15/2008 7:19:26 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

limited1963
Charlotte, IA
age: 45

you've already taken the 1st step, asking about help! There are lots of places that will help and the YWCA can point you in the right direction if you cant pay

2/15/2008 7:27:13 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

mom1st
York, SC
age: 31

Yes, it is possible. You just need to find a way to forgive them and yourself. That doesn't mean that you be their friend, and should be brought to justice regardless, but that you decide to let go of the pain and the anger. And one always feels some type of guilt, you must let that go. By holding onto these feelings, they didn't just rob you of your childhood, but you are letting them rob you of the present and of your future. It is never easy, but counseling and talking with others that have been through it will help to let it go. You have to want to change the way you think, and leave it in the past where it belongs. If you don't you are setting yourself up for failure in relationships. JMO (from experience) Wish you the best of luck and God bless.

2/15/2008 7:36:29 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

sitkarains
Sitka, AK
age: 48

I do believe that. I also know it for fact.
Get some great professional help. Then also realize you are not longer a victim
but a surivior.
Then start living your life as you want it. Call your own
shots..
Good luck.

2/15/2008 7:55:21 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

babybreeze20
Owosso, MI
age: 21

Just to answer that umm yeah he was just sent to prison 4 months ago. I just needed some different answers. I live in a small town and I've had alot of people tell me that because I was abused I should never have kids because I'll harm them and that I'll kill any relationship I get into. #1 I love kids and I'm great with them but I feel I'm starting to doubt myself. #2 I do alot for alot of people in my town and for people to just turn aginst me like this, I'll never understand.
But I will look into some kind of therapy, sounds like a good idea.

2/15/2008 8:07:59 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

belladreams
Binghamton, NY
age: 38

Yes, you will have a normal, healthy relationship again, with someone nice, and you deserve that. Do not let anyone take that away from you, but it is going to take time, alot of time, one step at a time. Counseling is good. That is the first major big step. Alot of people deny counseling and don't even want to be in it, but you need to. And I am not talking about short-term counseling, I am talking about perhaps, quite a few years until you are ready, able, and strong, and say to yourself, yes I am ready to fight and take on new challenges out there, and find a man who will understand you and explain to him your fears and what happened to you. Don't explain to him wha has happened until you know if he is the right man for you. Tell your closest friends, but that is it. You will be just fine. I will keep you in my prayers.

2/15/2008 8:12:20 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

orangeburst
Laguna Beach, CA
age: 60

yes it is not only possible it is urget that you do so. but not right at the moment. you may certainly gain from help, but NOT through this venue (DH), or anyone on it. NOT A GOOD SOLUION. You can gain alliances and positive feedback, and support, but you already understand this is a issue that demands objective, professional advice and certainly not from anyone on line... no matter how generous and kind the offer. you may also benefit from getting out of the town you are in to get such help. i really wish you well and know that you will can find a happy and healthy life ahead of you and one full of kindness, and love, real love.. i have seen it time and time again.

2/15/2008 8:16:12 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

allstadt
East Hampton, CT
age: 34

I'm sure it's possible but this isn't the place to find out. Talk to someone with credentials.

No offense to any of the above feedback.

2/15/2008 10:14:36 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

orangeburst
Laguna Beach, CA
age: 60

no offense, Alstadt, or whatever. we are on the same page. all you get here are opinions, not real help.

2/15/2008 10:43:51 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

craftygirl002
Tacoma, WA
age: 40

Since when did sex become urgent?

2/15/2008 11:09:29 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

kentots
Warsaw, IL
age: 19

Thats bad that you had to go through something like that. You should be able to get through it though, life is full of crosses to bear, some are alot harsher than others. Just keep going forward despite what has and is still to happen. Don't let what has happened get to you, don't let it rule your life, live life as you see fit, and everything will work out for you. People can judge you all they want but it is you who will be the deciding factor. Just because you've had troubles does not mean you cannot have a healthy relationship nor does it mean that you cannot be a good parent. If you are a good person then your actions will be good, because what you are comes from the inside. Not by what has happened or by other peoples judgments.

2/15/2008 11:21:50 PMI need ergent advice!!!!! 

europeanman
Charlotte, NC
age: 22

i was touched by a men at the age of 11, i have gotten over it
and of course id had some mental strain about it at a younger age
but i believe in karma so i feel bad for how long hes has to burn in hell.


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