| 2/17/2008 10:55:33 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
debi0077
Englewood, CO
age: 42
| Hi everybody! Wanted to see if anyone out there has some insight on a problem I am having. I have been seeing someone for a little while. Not very long, but we have really hit it off well and have been spending lots of time together since our first date. He suggested that we be monogamous with each other and wanted to get tested for std's so we won't have to worry about that. He took me to where he works and introduced me to several of his co-workers as his girlfriend. I have lots of my stuff at his place because I spend quite a bit of time there. We have so much in common that we always have fun together when we see each other. So everything is going great except that he seems to have difficulty telling me how he feels about me. He gives me lots of physical attention and not just when he expects to be intimate with me, but he really has a problem saying the word love. He says he's never said that to anyone but his mom in his life. I asked him why and he told me that to him saying that to someone means that he's ready to spend the rest of his life with someone. I told him that it doesn't mean that to me, it means that I have genuine warm feelings for him and not a whole lot of extra stuff. He still can't say it and doesn't seem to be able to say other things, such as, I really like you or something like that. Do you think I should be concerned???
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| 2/17/2008 10:58:50 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
nashoba_miko
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 39
| Define "not very long". And you ALREADY have a lot of stuff at HIS place??? 
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| 2/17/2008 10:59:51 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 59
| Give him a couple of years, he'll say it when you start to leave.
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| 2/17/2008 11:04:01 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
l2kids44
Lanesville, IN
age: 45
| I respect him in the fact that he's not going to throw the word Love around, you should too. Some people put it out there like it's a pat on the back or something. Be patient he'll say it when he knows it's real.
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| 2/17/2008 11:10:49 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 59
| Debi, listen to alex, she has a BS degree.
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| 2/17/2008 11:12:38 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
| Very well said Alex!!! 
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| 2/17/2008 11:14:31 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
amberism
Charleston, SC
age: 25
| so he's not ready to say it. it's ok for a man to be certain of how he feels before he throws it around. maybe he's trying NOT to hurt you. there are good men out there.
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| 2/17/2008 11:20:30 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 59
| Besides, love is a very serious and misused word, like quicksand, you may not get out of it alive! Are you sure you want love? I prefer a deep friendship.
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| 2/17/2008 11:24:22 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
jmace
Medical Lake, WA
age: 28
| Its better he not say it unless he really means it. That word gets thrown around way too much, and that devalues something that is essential in a relationship that is destined to work.
I understand you want to hear it, but ask yourself, do you want to hear it if it was untrue?
Perhaps you need to step back and figure out if you really want to be with this man. If that is the case, then you should have no problem waiting for the word.
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| 2/17/2008 11:42:20 AM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
| maybe he isn't in love with you as you think. when he's ready he will tell u
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| 2/17/2008 12:19:57 PM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| Men don't say I Love You unless they really mean it. Sometimes there are doubts when saying it to someone that either they won't feel the same (rejection) or that their heart will be broken later. I grew up as well with a family that didn't say I Love You but I didn't want to be that way so I changed and I always tell my son everyday for I don't know if some reason I won't be on this earth and I want him to have no regrets. I don't think I can go a day without hearing I Love You, it would be like not breathing.
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| 2/17/2008 12:21:17 PM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
chimike
Chicago, IL
age: 57
| I wouldn't make a big issue of this...if he treats you like he loves you but can't say the words, which is more important?? I think I'm safe in saying almost all women would prefer to be treated like they're loved (not just all women, sorry, all people) than being told it...actions definitely speak louder than words. By pushing it you could screw things up and sounds as if you have a good thing going.
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| 2/17/2008 12:22:45 PM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
iloveboxers
Kernersville, NC
age: 41
| i don't want to hear it unless i know they mean it. when he says it he has to be sincere. give it time, if he feels it he will say it, don't put the words in his mouth.
satin-----wtf???????
[Edited 2/17/2008 12:23:08 PM]
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| 2/17/2008 12:23:52 PM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 43
| I dont get it...I think if someone feels it cool and if they dont you love them inselfishly at least thats how I was raised, love comes around if you always love uncondtionally.
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| 2/17/2008 12:26:06 PM | Boyfriend has problem telling me he loves me | |
southbuster
Haughton, LA
age: 31
| That word "love" is really overated people usually say it once then it sounded good so they just keep saying it out of habit......you can tell when someone loves you and sounds to me like thats what he's showing you.......I'd rather someone SHOW me than TELL me!!
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