Forums: Dating General Discussion: Actually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out
2/18/2008 6:57:22 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 

that_wd_b_me
Essex Junction, VT
age: 50

[or words to that effect]
how many of you have heard that one before?
and what do you suppose it really means?
here's my theory,either
A: They were actually seeing someone else and I am not their cup of tea.So maybe the other one wasn't so bad after all.
OR
B: They aren't really seeing someone else,but I was not their cup of tea so they figured that was a good an excuse as any?

six of one or half dozen of the other,doesn't matter to me.



2/18/2008 7:07:42 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 

magtag
East York, ON
age: 41 online now!

I've heard that one twice before, both on dating sites and in both cases, not only did the person continue to have a profile and be online that day forward, but were found on several dating sites for a year or more after...LOL! I would have to conclude that in most cases, it's their easy way of letting you down without making it a personal thing.
Or, in some cases, maybe they are just seeing someone and they want to see how it works...never know. Either way, they are not for me. That's how I look at it.

2/18/2008 7:34:19 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 
susie_seashore
Daytona Beach, FL
age: 51

I've had this happen to me too, but I figure either way he's just not interested in me and that's it. So, kay sa ra sa ra, and ........

2/18/2008 7:36:20 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 
michaelcee
Sarasota, FL
age: 51

Not sure how to answer that.

I'm seeing someone on here and we both still have our profiles up
(and this isn't even a long distance relationship)

But this relationship is BRAND new... Actually started on Superbowl Sunday

Back up a few months.

I was communicating with a lady that IS kind of far from me.... nothing hot and heavy but we *were* exploring the possibilities of meeting for a little more than just "coffee".
(hell no... not cybering... I don't do that)

For whatever reason, the 2 of us lost touch.... but wouldn't ya know.... the DAY I actually went out with this new local lady the other one contacted me.

Circumstances made me think this new love interest had simply blown me off after one date (HEY! It happens to the best of us) so I accepted an IM offer from the old friend and resumed talking about the possibilities of meeting.


But allow me to clarify.
I told this lady I had been out with the other lady the day before and thought I had been blown off.
I also told her I would not have been in an IM with her had I not thought so.


Well.... The next day I get a call from my local lady and we go out to dinner.

HEY!
I hadn't been blown off at all.

Well the second date has led to a third and a fourth and a fifth.... in a little over a week.

Somewhere in between there I HAD to tell the long distance lady "I really like this lady and I want to see how this works out"

Truth of the matter is...The "local" lady "had me" from "Is this your first cup of coffee"? when we first made eye contact.

I felt bad for the long distance lady... she seems really nice.


But I digress.


In MY case... I was telling the absolute truth when I used the "line" you used to title this thread.
(actually wierded me out when I saw it... LOL)

Guess I'm also telling the "local lady" about this too as I know she reads some of my posts... if not all of them
(the topic never came up)


Hope this clears up some issue for you buddy.

Fact is... they may have been telling you the truth as defined by circumstances.

At the very least... it gave me an opportunity to come clean with a woman I absolutely adore.

2/18/2008 7:48:17 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 

thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!

Their actions and demeanor always preceed what they will tell you.

2/18/2008 8:41:53 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 
gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45

Wow! Google Lew??!?!?

uhm, speaking for ladies - I wonder why you are concerned about what her reality is, instead of simply tending to what your reality is?

My point sir, not meaning to harm you at all is this....whatever her truth - does it in anyway impact your reality?

You see?

Would it feel better to you to know one or the other was the truth when in all real actuality the infinite number of variables for what could INDEED be the truth for HER ...boggles my mind and I am a woman so I know you couldn't graps this....I speak of hormones, neurological flares, estrogen releases etc., which do infact lead women to behave or think one way or another....

So...my point, kind sir, and all who are following my meandering is this - Why do you concern yourself with what you can never really know for certain? Why not instead see that as an open window to find someone else who you will come to know and understand?

Don't look for negatives or pain where none may be - the world will hit you smack in the face with one soon enough and you won't have to ask yourself "gee, should I be hurt?"

JMO

2/18/2008 8:48:11 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 
michaelcee
Sarasota, FL
age: 51

Damn sailing... why didn't you post that before I told my life story on here

2/18/2008 8:49:27 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 
harley68
San Antonio, TX
age: 39

I've been telling men that lately because I was trying to see how it was going to work out with the LDR thing. I really wanted to try, now the other guys I blew off may have found someone else and the guy I was waiting for just blew me off. go figure.

2/18/2008 8:57:08 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 

dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 45

Harley! That's life in the big dating city, Ehhh! Don't let it trouble you! If you are interested in those guys that contacted you before, hit them up and see what's going on with them. Never hurts to say Hi and see if they'll begin chasing you again.

I think people say that just to politely say that they are not into you. They may or may not be seeing someone else. If they were serious about someone else, they wouldn't
be here or would say so in their profile. Don't let it get you down. Plenty of fish in the sea of dating.

2/18/2008 8:58:02 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47

Hmmmm I am in a long distance relationship with someone on here. It will be awhile before we can be a "couple". So, I am still single. I don't want to give a gentleman false hope when I want to be with the gentleman from this site. During the waiting time, I could delete my profile yes but if something were to change in the relationship do I come back as chopperbabe2??? I've been in a long distance relationship before and things did change ... more on his end than mine. So I remain, til we are a "couple". I don't think this time things will change but I still hesitant. I place in my profile about me that some gentlemen haven't taken the time to read before messaging me. Does that make me in the wrong???

2/18/2008 9:01:45 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 
gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45

My opinion is - when or if I'm no longer available (which really seems unlikely to occur so this is SO much fiction!!!) then...I"ll announce it. I guess by sky writing or on a thread because nobody reads the words in the profiles anyway (apparently!)

I still do not know how the LDR will be, we're working that way sloooooooooowly. This isn't something I feel good about doing so...not sure I'm on board that train yet.

Chopper - I'm watching you and Heather....we'll see how these things go.

2/18/2008 9:02:34 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 

nopretense
Harleysville, PA
age: 47

I have said that a number of times and it has been completely sincere and honest. Sometimes you get far enough with one relationship that you want to focus on it, but it isn't something "official" yet that would dictate taking down a profile.

Don't most of us correspond with more than one friend/potential significant other at a time? Up to a point. At some point, in fairness to yourself and the other person, it is time to focus your energy there and give it the best chance of succeeding, so you can fairly evaluate it.

2/18/2008 10:31:53 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 

yankeesweet
Aiken, SC
age: 58

I joined this site not all that long ago...and then I actually met someone locally that
I like alot and really want to give that a chance. I am a one man type of
person and don't like to complicate things, especially when I would like this
to go someplace eventually.
Long story short...I changed my profile to read that I am seeing someone and
am on here really to chat and make friends.
Guys don't read it though...or they ignore what I have said...and I have to
write them back and explain it all over again...I don't want to be rude and
not answer the emails because I am looking to make friends...on the other
hand I am not handing out my personal email address or IM'ing them and so on
either just because they have professed their undying love and are willing to
relocate and move here next week???
Some of them just don't get that. Its called being true to the
relationship you are in!!!
So when I say I am seeing someone and really want to see if it works out...
then that is EXACTLY what I do mean!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, there are some that still just don't get it and I have to
just delete and block. Hate to do that but after awhile it's like
you are being harassed by them. Like the guy in high school that could
just not take no for an answer!



[Edited 2/18/2008 10:34:24 PM]

2/18/2008 11:42:36 PMActually I have been seeing someone/Want to see how that works out 

that_wd_b_me
Essex Junction, VT
age: 50

I have gotten this twice,that I recall,and it only really bothered me the first time,years ago.The first woman I dated after being separated,A coworker I had known for years and really liked,she,recently divorced.It was the classic example of too much expectation on my part.When it happened again yesterday I was like ok,good luck then.
I had dropped her a note the 3rd day following our coffee date, which was read and deleted without response,3 days after that I called her.Maybe I waited a little too long maybe it wouldn't have mattered.Hard telling,not knowing.water over the dam now



[Edited 2/18/2008 11:49:01 PM]