| 2/20/2008 8:50:05 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
vwillht
Raleigh, NC
age: 32
| I cant understand why people force things on others. I mean if you want to date other people why not say that at first. Instead they go out and sleep around, and think that they are some kind of player. let me decide if I want to take part in that type of relationship. The thing is it would work out better for the cheater. They have less drama, and clear a conscious. Not to mention the things you can share with the unknowing party, such as std's a crazy man or woman that will hurt the innocent person. I will never understand why a person would want to live that way. Anyone ou there with feed back please feel free to comment.
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| 2/20/2008 8:52:34 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48 online now!
| I agree with you. That is not my lifestyle and if it is yours, meaning the person I'm seeing, then just say so. Then it is my perogative to stay or go. I'd go...
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| 2/20/2008 8:56:42 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
easygoin68
Crawford, NE
age: 39
| I'm not a player. When I'm dating, it's only 1 woman. I let them know that straight up.
If they don't respect that....they can go pound sand. Besides....as hard as it is to please one woman, why put yourself through the turmoil of pleasing more than 2 or more?! How some people keep that much shit straight is beyond me
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| 2/20/2008 9:03:09 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
forestrose
Calgary, AB
age: 55
| I worry about that too - being lied to by someone who claims to
be monogamous when they really aren't. Let me decide if I am
good with it or not, and like Garnet said: I'm gone.
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| 2/20/2008 10:14:18 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| I can only handle one man at a time and I'm not into head games. I've never been able to understand why someone would want more than one partner at a time. 
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| 2/21/2008 1:00:13 AM | Can I make that choice? | |
gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| On Dh I am interested in only one man to be potentially dating in my real life - but it doesn't mean that I am not having fun and making friends with other men... I haven't had a "real" date as yet.. as a result though many men on DH are sending me nasty emails telling me to delete my profile now since I am "about" to have a 1st date... apparently I am violating the online dating code somehow???
Beats me how...does this make me a "player"
??? These guys seem to think so?
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| 2/21/2008 7:30:42 AM | Can I make that choice? | |
winesong
Bend, OR
age: 88
| We do not own another person, or their behavior. Are we in a position to make
demands of another? WE GIVE , we should not demand. Never assume.....
As for dating several people at the same time...there is a vast difference between,
meeting, dating for a lunch or dinner, and the more advanced relationship of sex.
Save the sex for the point when you are excluding ALL others. Save heart ache!
Emotional maturity is to know when you are *interested*, vs *charmed or fascinated*.
You know when it is time to concentrate on one particular person...
**Hello...I think I want to be exclusively with you... am enjoying my time with you*
Wine
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| 2/21/2008 7:38:07 AM | Can I make that choice? | |
newinil
Carlock, IL
age: 36
| Until one or the other of you asks for some form of commitment, then why be solely exclusive to each other?
Until that point then is it not just a date? Perhaps on a repeating basis?
The point I am making is, there is someone on here I am interested in. We have not gone out, and she has not asked me about going to a further point in our relationship.
Now I also realize part of that problem is mine, I haven't asked her, nor have I gotten up the nerve to ask her. So until I know what her feelings are about seeking some form of committed relationship, why should I put the blinders on completely? I mean as a result of the relationship with her, I am not actively seeking someone. More passively.
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| 2/21/2008 8:19:43 AM | Can I make that choice? | |
vwillht
Raleigh, NC
age: 32
| That sounds really nice, but you know as well as I do that people are not that mature these days. The dating scene has become a playing field full of dishonest adults who are only out for themselves. All I am saying, is give the person you are seeing a choice to make. If they want to see others and not be exclusive to just one person, while dating or in a relationship let that adult you are involved with make that choice.Do not force your lifestyle on that adult.
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| 2/21/2008 9:55:07 AM | Can I make that choice? | |
winesong
Bend, OR
age: 88
| We AS emotionally considerate and compassionate ADULTS..
give, more than we expect to receive...
We do not demand from others... demanding is for spoiled children.
My world is not full of immature, selfish people. I avoid them...
for me life is too short. Quality of life and relationships,
are so very important.
I know that I do not enter into relationships
of *selfish, me first, and only me....standards*.
Age is not the factor..
the emotional stability is the marker.
Women, that expect to be treated well, usually are.
Their enduring patina radiates...it is subtle and rich...but
it is a quality you learn to recognize and treasure.
Making choices is part of my lifestyle...always has been. I make a
choice and live with no regrets. I cannot undo if I screw up.
However I can ask for forgiveness, and carry my weight in the
deal of a lifetime.
Wine
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| 2/21/2008 10:11:58 AM | Can I make that choice? | |
loveagoodtime
Gabriola, BC
age: 19
| I would never play around when I'm dateing a girl because I just wouldn't sleep at night knowing I could be later on hurting the girl i'm with.
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| 2/21/2008 10:50:37 AM | Can I make that choice? | |
silkpanties53
Baytown, TX
age: 53
| alex
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| 2/21/2008 3:28:15 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
ret1058
Westerville, OH
age: 49
| Ok...so...I am so confused. I have not been on the dating scene for 25 years. I am not currently dating anyone in person. Are there rules?
There seem to be so many conflicting views on dating. I thought that "dating" involved the possibility of dating several people at once. (not sleeping with them) Am I wrong?
Are you supposed to date one person at a time and decide about them before you date someone else? Is it ok to date more than one person at a time if you aren't sleeping with them?
In the past 7 months when communicating with men online, I've always been honest and I'll tell them that I'm talking with other men (if I am)...especially if they ask. Often, the man gets really upset about it...and we haven't even met! Is that typical? The ones that get upset over it generally don't want to continue communicating because they feel I am "cheating" on them. I just don't get this.
Some people feel you should tell someone if you are talking with or dating someone else. Others feel you shouldn't tell.
I need a handbook on dating....online and in "real life". What's a girl to do? 
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| 2/21/2008 3:57:42 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
pandorazzz_box
Saco, ME
age: 37
| I'm with you Ret! Dating could mean going on multiple dates with one person, but it can also mean having dates with more than one person. If sex isn't involved, or hell, even if it is, and no one has agreed to any type of a commitment, then I don't think anyone should be upset to discover that you are seeing or talking to more than one person at a time.
~ETA Isn't the whole point of dating to try and find out if you are compatible with someone, if you share interests, have morals, values and goals in common? If the "rule" said you could only date one person at time, it could take forever to find someone that you connect with!
[Edited 2/21/2008 4:00:30 PM]
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| 2/21/2008 5:26:01 PM | Can I make that choice? | |
ret1058
Westerville, OH
age: 49
| ETA Isn't the whole point of dating to try and find out if you are compatible with someone, if you share interests, have morals, values and goals in common? If the "rule" said you could only date one person at time, it could take forever to find someone that you connect with!
Pandora...that's what I think! Maybe I'm just finding all the overly possessive and jealous guys (not on this site...other sites in the past months)
However, if I started developing feelings for a particular guy that I was dating...we would have to discuss if we were going to become exclusive. There is just a touch of the "green-eyed monster" in me...and once I'm attached...I don't like to share. 
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