| 2/24/2008 9:20:46 AM | farthers for justice | | 
homesteder
Red Deer, AB
age: 43
| Just wondering how many of you guys out there have had to go through the courts to see your kids after a divorce or seperation,and do you think you where treated fairly.I am wondering this because it seems i have to go to court to get what i think is best for my son.
| | 2/24/2008 9:30:21 AM | farthers for justice | | 
dg1260
Galion, OH
age: 47
| Howdy homesteder!
The courts don't like to make decisions, or at least that is how it appears. In most states the judicial system counts on 'experts' to influence the judge and their decision. Because this has to be paid by the plaintiffs it gets expensive real quick. And of course the opposing side will find a sympathetic expert to counter what you are pushing.
In short, it a loose, loose situation for the kids. And in almost every case tends to make whatever relation is left with your ex a complete war. The only winners are the lawyers. So, justice has little to do with it.
I think the real danger is to let the kids become a product of this system. Kids are resilient and parents can make lots of mistakes and still have great kids. I don't know your details, but unless their well being is in danger, the court will be a lousy place to try to correct things (jmho)
Since my children are a little older, I just tell them that if they want to live with me just make the commitment, otherwise live with your mom. I will not get into a legal battle, I will not turn the kids into some type of competition. If they want to live with me I will pay for it once. If they want to live with their mom, I will just sign the papers and off they go. And, I told them I will only do it once. So far I've raised one son and the other will be here soon enough.
| | 2/24/2008 9:54:51 AM | farthers for justice | |
homesteder
Red Deer, AB
age: 43
| thanks dg, Guess i have to go to court anyway for the divorce.
| | 2/24/2008 9:57:35 AM | farthers for justice | |
dg1260
Galion, OH
age: 47
| Good luck to you, and especially your kids.
| | 2/24/2008 3:33:46 PM | farthers for justice | | onelife2live
Janesville, WI
age: 44
| It's an uphill battle for men, at least in WI.
| | 2/24/2008 3:53:59 PM | farthers for justice | | dancinglynx
Reedsburg, WI
age: 44
| Just my opinion here, but I do believe that when it comes to custody of the kids & paying support that men usually do get the shaft. I've seen it all too many times happen. One friend of my ex's had his ex-wife take his a** into court every chance she got & bled that poor guy dry. He'd make make nearly $500/wk & get checks for $3 or $4! (& no, he wasn't behind on support & it was for 2 kids) She used to love it when he got thrown into jail because his support was a couple of days late, usually due to how he got paid.
HOWEVER, I also know a very few women whose ex's bleed them dry as well. I think it should be EQUAL custody AND EQUAL support. The kids should NEVER be used as 'weapons' against the other parent & NEITHER parent should diss the other in front of their kids. That's just like brainwashing the kids into thinking the other parent is bad. Isn't it our job as parents to PROTECT our innocent children?
I'm sorry for my rant & to any whom I have offended. I know there are different situations for those who go threw it. I've been on both sides. jmo
| | 2/24/2008 5:26:36 PM | farthers for justice | |
homesteder
Red Deer, AB
age: 43
| My wife and i do get along fairly well now that we are apart from one another so that is good for my son but it seems not matter what i have to go to court to get our divorce which bothers me a bit.I sure hope my ex doesnt get to greedy like the one you talked about danceing,guess time will tell.I have heard a lot of storys that do make me a bit nervous about what i am about to go though.Thanks for the input people,but it would be nice to hear from someone that can tell me Oh yea my divorce went off with out a hitch,no problems at all
| | 2/24/2008 5:58:38 PM | farthers for justice | | belladreams
Binghamton, NY
age: 38
| You guys have it made when going to go court for visistation rights. My lawyer told me not to be a b*tch when i go in there in front of the judge. I did not want no visitation at all, and he told me NO dont say that or the father will get visitation rights. Down here in new york it all depends out the judge supposedly feels that day. So i said okay, so he told me to go for supervised visits so both families dont get alone and the big problem both familes did not get along, so he had a choice to go to a place to be watched by professionals. Except he had to pay$ 20.00 an hour to see his kid. He walked out. The judges are better to women when it comes to child support. They rock!!! On visitation, they suck, but child supporty, theyre gonna getcha getcha getcha, its a matter of time...
| | 2/24/2008 6:19:27 PM | farthers for justice | | chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| It's a shame that the children are used as pawns because one or both of the parents are bitter about their relationship. Children observe things more than we think they do. I believe men get the short end of the stick when it comes to rearing children. Majority of the time the woman gets the children even though the male has the same capiblity as the female. One woman once told me that she would die if she didn't have her kids around her but that got me thinking, he probably feels the same way but he lost and she won. Her X does a lot with their children and does not push them out of his life. In fact, quite the opposite. I don't know how a court determines if there isn't a mutual agreement between the parents of who gets the children.
| | 2/24/2008 6:28:31 PM | farthers for justice | | 
bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 46
| this one gets my attention big time,,,,,nope not fair not even close,,,,,i was put in this deep hole by the court who didnt even know me as a person at that time.....i had to dig and scratch like a drowning man out of this hole,,,just to prove to someone i was a good dad,,,,well i DID IT,,,now i get my kids about 45% of the time and i raise them with very little help,,,,,that leaves 55% of the time to the kids mother my ex,,,,my ex mother in-law raises our kids,,,,,go figure,,,,,,,NO ITS NOT FAIR
| | 2/24/2008 6:34:43 PM | farthers for justice | |
homesteder
Red Deer, AB
age: 43
| Its like dreams said chooper,it depends on the judges mood that day.I all ready have the abilty to see my son when ever i want at her house,but when i take him to my place it has to be supervised,which is very degradeing to me.This is what i will be fighting for is to have my son without being supervised and be able to have him over night once a week,which i hope can be settled on the first court appearence.I have often wondered if i would be better off just walking away from it all and just pay my child support(which i have no problem doing as long as its within reason)because he makes such a fuss when i drop him off at his moms.He doesnt want to leave me.I dont know if its good for him to be torn away from me like that every week or not?
| | 2/24/2008 6:39:17 PM | farthers for justice | |
homesteder
Red Deer, AB
age: 43
| Hey buck,that sounds like a good ending i can hope for,thanks.
| | 2/24/2008 7:50:52 PM | farthers for justice | | onelife2live
Janesville, WI
age: 44
| have it made Bella? Where I am living out of 100 divorces 95 end up with the man paying and the woman receiving. No more welfare so if you are a working man you are paying.
| | 2/24/2008 8:01:32 PM | farthers for justice | | dancinglynx
Reedsburg, WI
age: 44
| one, lol, boy do you ever know our court system well. It's so very true, with no more afdc in Wisconsin, the b*tches suck a guy dry. It happened twice to my oldest brother, my friends, uncles....you name it. I'm sorry to say it but there really isn't much justice for men in family court here. It sickens me because there are so many lazy women who won't get off their fat lazy asses & go get a job. So they take their ex's to court & get over 3/4 of their paychecks just so they don't have to work! What an insult to those of us who are not like that. My ex & I still took care of our kids together even though we didn't live together anymore. We stood united for them & each of us pitched in money wise equally. Now that our daughters are grown & on their own, they respect what we did & how we did it. It was far better than snipeing at each other every time we saw each other, & pitchin a hissy-fit in front of our kids on how rotten the other was. jmo
(I'm sorry, but this is one subject that really pisses me off!)
[Edited 2/24/2008 8:04:36 PM]
| | 2/24/2008 8:07:21 PM | farthers for justice | | onelife2live
Janesville, WI
age: 44
| Hey there's a lot of bad men out there and we hear about it all the time here. But.........there a alot of bad women. Be careful out there...
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