| 2/27/2008 2:35:28 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
ayeshah
Albuquerque, NM
age: 31
| I went to NJ/NYC first i went to see this guy that i have known for a long time we talked hung out and stuff than i let him know i was leaving , there really wasnt anything there so why waste time on messing up our friendship, i knew too that we would never do anything or try to be more than friends. But than i went and saw the man i felt and still feel i love not in love but love alot , we been friends for 3 yrs and we talked all the time at least 2 times a day for the last 3 yrs,  he know about the guy i went and saw in Philly and to him no biggy cuz we was never together well we almost ended up together and I stopped him thinking back on what happen when i went to philly , and i just could go through that again well to make a long sotry short, it seems that men are always trying to use me for sex , like thats all im worth and im not worth anything mo, i know it can't be true i refuse to believe it. well we kind of got into it and i left.  paid for my plane ticket to go home early. i did see my family and other friends too but i just feel like damn im so dumb and why cant i see the signs, i know there's good in everyone well i hope and i may not trust up front like i once did but i still try to see the good in ppl. why am i finding all these lair and jerks?
Am i that clueless? what i can figure out law and such and be so stupid when it comes to matters of the heart, Im not giving up on love Im just taking a break!
Any advise cuz im thinking i should give up but apart of me just wont let me!
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| 2/27/2008 4:01:56 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
rsdstl
Saint Louis, MO
age: 51
| ayeshah, are you having this trouble with men you are meeting on this site???
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| 2/27/2008 4:40:02 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
easytouch3
Mount Clemens, MI
age: 47
| Let me think about this. You,ve been talking to a guy 2 times a day for 3 yrs. You stop in to see him and he wants to boink you. Dont you think after 3 yrs of talking has probablly built up some feelings for you ?  He sees you. Hes attracted.He wants more makes sense to me 
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| 2/27/2008 7:43:23 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
brendaj
Savannah, GA
age: 45
| Ayeshah, I think sometimes we're tooken advantage of so often in a sexual way that we do overlook something that could be real, possibly in fear of rejection. Personally i have a shield up like a lot & i say i'm ok with things, but find myself blowing men off in fear of rejection myself, sometimes we just have to take a few steps back & look at the real picture. If this man spoke to you everyday, that speaks volumes in itself - i think sex was just something he needed to feel closer to you & of course we do all have needs, and for men sometimes it's there way of showing us they have feelings. I know from having 5 brothers & more male friends than females that some men aren't very good at verbally expressing themselves, so they express it in ways they know best, which just happens to be physically for most.
Why don't you try talking to him again, you never know what may happen, He just may be your Mr.Right anyway thats J M O
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| 2/27/2008 9:10:41 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
katiescarlett72
Arlington, TX
age: 36
| Any advise cuz im thinking i should give up but apart of me just wont let me!
Here's what my dad told me regarding how to tell if a man really wants you, and not just sex:
Use the ten cent birth control method. Put a dime between your knees, and don't drop it.
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| 2/27/2008 9:16:48 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
s83biker
Arvada, CO
age: 48
| Katie - good advise from you Dad! FOLMFAO
No your not DUMB! Not at all. Just don't think all men are like that.
Not everyone of us is thinkin' "DAMN! HOW DO I GET IN TO HER PANTS".
I mean we think about it but not act on it.
If we dated, I need to get to know you a little better and we would talk about sex and when would be the right time in the relationship.
Don't give up! I was thinkin' the same thing you are.
How many women do I have to meet before I find the right one?
Well I'm still lookin' too!
[Edited 2/27/2008 9:18:04 AM]
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| 2/27/2008 12:36:58 PM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
ayeshah
Albuquerque, NM
age: 31
| i STILL TALK TO HIM BUT OK HERES A LONG BUT SHORT HEAD UP ON WHAT HAPPEN TO ME, i WENT TO PHILLY AND I WENT TO GO SEE FAMILY THERE TOO BUT MOSTLY I WENT TO MEET A GUY AND nO i HAVE ONLY MEET ONE GUY OFF HERE AND THATS THE ONE I SAID id still be friends wit and didnt do anything with and left his house to go see the other guy. Ok so I went from NJ to NYC to see the guy i sort of am loving but my walls are up. after what happen to me in Philly, Now to the Philly guy lets call him Sinbad(he looks like him)
We talked for a long long time, and than he sent me a ticket to come see him so i went out there, everything was great until i got back home&he flipped out on me cuz i didnt call,and so much more. Well i ended up pregnant by him(it BROKE ) i got checked and did all the steps i needed to to make sure i was and still am SAFE!!!(I AM STD?HIV?AIDS FREE)
Any how i *WAS* pregnant thou. I let him knw and he was excited about it ,we had already talked about being together and He even talked about making me his wife way b4 this.
Well long story short he spent almost $500 on a plane ticket just fo some a** let put it semi mildly LOl. Maybe it was me again rejecting my self and that relationship b4 i could really find out what was what, well my mind and feelings told me he was playing me he stoped calling and answering any of my mails or texts, a few days b4 i left thou he told me he was out of town and was working out of town and stuff, im like too late! anyhow thats the long short verion of it. 
I stopped trusting Men long ago but I did try, I don't trust many ppl men or women cuz of my life and what ive been through, its a healing and learning process and im taking my time but I dont know I think Let call him "C" only wanted sex if ever you read our emails poetry and text not to mention are conversations You'd think we was in fact man and wife , thats how we talked to each other but more so He'd write how he wanted to make love. He said and still says he's looking for mises J and That he thinks im her, but after 3 yrs and all that talk i too was ready for some action but after "Sinbad(philly guy)
I jusr can't put myself out there like that again,I didnt think i could fall so hard for a guy and im still healing fromt hat emotional-rollercoaster.
This mind you was only in jan. Its now going to be march and im not sorry to say but i just don't get down like that,I cant go from one man to the next.
Now i know me and "C" talked about it but we never made any real plans and it was a spur of the moment visit to his house since he lived down the street from my auntie's house(on my dads side of the family)
So i called and he ws happy for me to go se him he wanted e to stay the night and spend the next day sunday with him so i said cool long as you know we aint doing anything, See i did tell him and he said what ever happens happens and if it did than we'd move forward from there and if it didnt we still would.
So am i dumb? I think just maybe so cuz i set myself up for that one looking back on it now.
What do you think? and lol the Dime between the legs well i never heard it and lol was prolly married b4 my Dady could say boo to me bout sex.
Longer story bout that but we talking bout this and Yes i know men have needs and such and its another way for them to show it like this but i just couldn't!
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| 2/27/2008 2:10:00 PM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
brooklyn_dude
Brooklyn, NY
age: 36
| No you are not dumb.. Shit happens, But sometime, I should say a lot of times we follow are hearts and not our minds..Or we look for something good in someone regardless of the big warning signs we receive..Following the heart is cool but have your eyes wide open and think with your mind.. If it walks like a duck.. you know the rest.. And P.S ladies Stop looking for the guy with the perfect body or the most money.. Because in the end it is all about the perfect Soul....
[Edited 2/27/2008 2:12:26 PM]
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| 2/27/2008 2:31:42 PM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| I guess I must be clueless because I don't understand one dang word....and not going to try either.
But I'll go with yes as my final answer.
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| 2/27/2008 7:57:33 PM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
ayeshah
Albuquerque, NM
age: 31
| ok so why did you post? to be notice, if you didnt understand it pls re read it or just leave no omment at all im looking for help and lmao your "yes" to everything well it wont do me any good cuz your just agreeig just to agree. make sense now hun? lol i am confusing but oh well to know me is to hate to love me!
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| 2/27/2008 8:13:34 PM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
coslty8
Uniondale, NY
age: 32
| No your not dumb,,,but your photo's scream...COME HAVE SEX WITH ME!
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| 2/28/2008 9:21:18 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
ayeshah
Albuquerque, NM
age: 31
| No your not dumb,,,but your photo's scream...COME HAVE SEX WITH ME!
i never noticed that and here i thought i was taking arttistic pics and model typ photos, lol i am some times over the edge but when ppl talk to me they know im more than a picture and they know it takes alot(MOST TIMES) to get in between. life is good today so i have no worries and all the men i stoped worring about r now begging me back but you know what im happy where i am right now, and as for my friend well we still talking just a lil strain on us but if its meant to be than it will be like i said im taking a break and im going to just take care of me and my kids and if i am meant to find love it than will find and choose me im not in no rush and i can wait. for the other stuff well thats what they made toys for!
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| 2/28/2008 9:35:51 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
stevex86
Rush Springs, OK
age: 40
| Yup, the photos scream come have sex with me, BUT.......thats no excuse. Bottom line it was still your choice. You made it and now you have to live with the consequences, sorry for that.
No, I dont think you are dumb, but then neither do I think either guy was just lookign for a booty call. I too had a hard time following your post, but what it sounded like to me is feelings changed. Who knows why, we only have one side of the story.
PS: Dont think I am sayign to change the pics, Im just saying that with them you are goign to meet as many guys that just want you for your body as you will who want more. If your willing to sort through the garbage to find the diamond, then by all means go with them. You shouldnt change how you are to meet someone elses expectations of what is proper, improper, or what have you.
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| 2/28/2008 11:18:03 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
rsdstl
Saint Louis, MO
age: 51
| Let's face it: photos are advertising. If you don't want to appeal to players you have to be more demure...
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| 3/1/2008 12:59:26 AM | Am I dumb or Some Thing? | |
coslty8
Uniondale, NY
age: 32
| Ayesha:
I love some of your photo's, and I'm sure that you are a sincere woman who's looking for love...but unfortuanatley "Playa's" will flock to your profile...because whether you know it for not, that's what's being potrayed.
It's no different than when you go on a job interivew.
[Edited 3/1/2008 1:00:12 AM]
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