| 2/29/2008 9:27:38 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
tlc4u46
Santa Barbara, CA
age: 47
| DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No breasts
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - B*tch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
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| 2/29/2008 9:28:53 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
mitchell1221
Chattanooga, TN
age: 45
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| 2/29/2008 9:31:07 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
footloose_bored
Tienen
Belgium
age: 59
| If I'd posted this would I have had a 48 hour suspension
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| 2/29/2008 9:42:59 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
belladreams
Binghamton, NY
age: 38
| I am a professional so i am a b*tch, and in womens english i am number 6. thats right we need to talk or i am gonna kick your ass, the men that is. I am a profession as in employment woohooooooooooo. i kick ass man. This is a great thread TLC... you rock!
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| 2/29/2008 9:45:01 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
tlc4u46
Santa Barbara, CA
age: 47
| Hope I don't offend anyone, all just in fun
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| 2/29/2008 9:48:48 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
sowhatsup
Hudson, NY
age: 28
| Thats one of the funniest things ive read on this site and mostly true lmao
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| 2/29/2008 9:58:32 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
lostinwyoming
Evanston, WY
age: 50
| you forgot,
self employed = sells her crack for crack.
highly motivated = smokes rocks.
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| 2/29/2008 10:05:38 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
towfrog
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 51
| TLC, your my hero
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| 2/29/2008 10:11:29 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
tradwind
Jeddo, MI
age: 45
| 
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| 2/29/2008 10:14:27 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
beachingirl
Stone Harbor, NJ
age: 50
| Great one TLC!!!
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| 2/29/2008 10:19:19 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
ohjoe
Richmond, VA
age: 39
| Too funny, you made my Friday so far!
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| 2/29/2008 10:56:00 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
alludreemof
Springfield, TN
age: 51
| TLC Thanks for the laughs! I agree it made my Friday! 
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| 2/29/2008 11:00:07 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
dancinglynx
Reedsburg, WI
age: 44
| Good One!
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| 2/29/2008 11:03:50 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 46
| nice tlc....
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| 2/29/2008 11:07:10 AM | Thought men would find this helpful when viewing profiles. Have fun | |
swiftfalcon
The Colony, TX
age: 50
| That was funny-I'd like to have sex with you
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