Forums: Dating General Discussion: Is it possible?
3/10/2008 8:53:34 AMIs it possible? 

firebirderic
Jacksonville, FL
age: 29

Is it possible to live a happy life these days. It seems to me that more and more marriages are ending sooner and sooner. What happened to having a long and lasting marriage like in the olderyears, like my Great grandparents were married for 63 years, my grandparents were married for 30 years. Why do relationships not last that long anymore? Or is it me.

3/10/2008 8:57:12 AMIs it possible? 

curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46

Because marriage is work, and people are alot lazier than they were years ago, they don't want to work at it, also people in general are more self centered can't have that mind set in a marriage and or relationship. The world today sucks, i know i was born a couple hundred years to late.

3/10/2008 9:00:20 AMIs it possible? 

lost_in_albany
Albany, GA
age: 34

Also, with telephones, interstates and internet, the in-laws are a lot closer than they were fifty years ago. My aunt recently said that she thought that the best thing for a newly married couple was to move about a hundred miles away from either family for the first couple of years. Although, that might hvae ben a good idea sometime ago, that really isn't any distance now.

3/10/2008 9:00:54 AMIs it possible? 

stormygrl
Longmont, CO
age: 42

It seems that people just see marriage as a piece of paper......or the idea of being faithful to just one is so hard for some people. I've been divorced for 18 years now and doubt that I will ever get married again......because if I ever do it will certainly be the last time and will be until I die.....

3/10/2008 9:11:31 AMIs it possible? 

gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45

we're a microwave and selfish society.

We want what we want NOW
and we don't want to work for it.

Plus - freak look how easy divorce is and how much fun women have planning weddings.... it's all a bag of fun stuff....

isn't it?

3/10/2008 9:20:27 AMIs it possible? 

flygirl7
Montville, OH
age: 28

Of course marriages lasted so long back in the day. Look at where woman were at in that time. It was unacceptable to be a single mom, unless you were widowed. Woman had difficulty finding jobs that paid well enough to support a mortage,kids,etc. I know older couples that are together still after 30 years and they are miserable. Marriage is what you make of it. If it is something that no matter how good or bad things are it still gives you joy then great. But if the marriage is based on lies, infedelity, and abuse than a divorce is an option to get out of a toxic relationship.

3/10/2008 9:23:48 AMIs it possible? 

gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45

totally agree with green eyes!

3/10/2008 9:32:57 AMIs it possible? 

magtag
East York, ON
age: 41

All posters above make good and valid points. I just want to add to what others have said. In the era of our grandparents and for some our parents, the world was a very different place.

First, most Moms were at home, yes, some worked, but they would do that work from home or in the evening if it was necessary, or would work PRIOR to having a husband or children. This meant that there was a primary caregiver for all children as well as a housewife to take care of the household chores, shopping, preparing meals and children.
Today, with both parents working, these burdens (should) fall on both people and they are expected to be carried out AFTER a full day's work. This in itself causes a whole lot of troubles in marriages today.

Also, technology has changed the world, we are working more hours, working from home when we should be spending time with our families, etc. Most people with marriage and children just don't have the time for themselves, let alone their partners and live a crazy schedule and never feel like they can keep up. Also a huge stain on marriage.

And finally, life expectancy plays a part. We are living much longer, so have a much longer time to be in a marriage. There was a time when 25 to 30 years of marriage was all you could have as one or both partners would pass away beyond those years. Today you see many people splitting up in their mid 50s to mid 60s, just about the time that years ago, life may be ending.

It is true that society's attitudes towards marriage have also changed and committment levels have changed. But is that due to other societal changes some of which I've stated above? Or is it just laziness?

3/10/2008 9:55:17 AMIs it possible? 

lori21204
Commerce, GA
age: 24 online now!

I couldn't tell ya!! I also wonder what happened to marriages that last a lifetime. I really tired to make mine work but I couldn't do it by myself

3/10/2008 12:41:04 PMIs it possible? 

1mauibabe1
Lahaina, HI
age: 52

lori you just hit it on the head "You can't do it by yourself!" As said earlier we have be come a society of "I want it, and I want it now" we have lost the value of "if, it is worth having. It is worth working for" My marriage was a life time 20 yrs he passed away 4 yrs ago....