| 3/14/2008 12:23:44 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
bfoxr
Jackson, WY
age: 43
| My exwife is having an affair with a married guy who's wife just had a baby last week. I like to stay out of her business but when my kids go over on the weekends she involves them, should I rat her out?
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| 3/14/2008 12:26:38 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 42 online now!
| Are you jealous of your ex or envious of her? I don't think it has anything to do with the kids and their well being.
Maybe you shouold concentrate on you.
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| 3/14/2008 12:27:27 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
jasmom
Quincy, IL
age: 35
| Oh man...that would really pi@@ me off. I think I would tell her if she wants to screw around with a married man that was her business but she had better keep my kids out of it.
Things might get really ugly for you if you rat her out. If you're prepared for that go with your conscience.
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| 3/14/2008 12:28:39 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
goodintention54
Plymouth, MI
age: 55
| I'll tell you what, if she was invoving the children. I sure as hell would let her know in no uncertain terms that what she wants to do with her life is her business but if she is going to involve the children then I'm dropping a dime immediately
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| 3/14/2008 12:30:17 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
bfoxr
Jackson, WY
age: 43
| I don't think Im jellous, I just don't like my 5 year old comming home telling me about how her moms boyfriend is going to divorce his wife and marry her mom
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| 3/14/2008 12:39:52 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 42 online now!
| I just don't like my 5 year old comming home telling me about how her moms boyfriend is going to divorce his wife and marry her mom
So you believe kids should be treated like mushrooms and kept in the dark and fed nothing but crap? If it's true what your 5 year old is saying then what is the big deal?
[Edited 3/14/2008 12:40:04 PM]
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| 3/14/2008 12:40:31 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
goodintention54
Plymouth, MI
age: 55
| A five year old ?? Give the ex the warning then if it continues drop the dime.
[Edited 3/14/2008 12:41:04 PM]
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| 3/14/2008 12:47:01 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
bfoxr
Jackson, WY
age: 43
| I don't believe that kids should be treated like mushrooms but I do believe that at 5 years old they have a limited capacity of understanding and don't need to be exposed to the irrational and immoral behavior of adults.
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| 3/14/2008 12:47:48 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
crowdog3
Ponca City, OK
age: 34
| I say shut up about it and mine yer own..she ain't yer problem any more
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| 3/14/2008 12:52:58 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
steph_23_1110
Livingston, TX
age: 24
| Crow you need to stop being such an ass. You need to talk about your problems because I think you are really hurting inside. Don't take your anger out on us ok.
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| 3/14/2008 12:53:29 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
stormygrl
Casa Grande, AZ
age: 42
| Perhaps you should tell her that until she figures out what's she doing that the kids will not be spending any time with her......
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| 3/14/2008 1:23:31 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
tecman
Manassas, VA
age: 50
| These are the questions I ask myself in situations like this.
1. Will it hurt or hel my children to say something?
Somethings are better left unsaid. Starting a war between me and my ex does not benifit my son. I worry about how my son is treated. Is he being abused, used for position or gain?
2. Am I being spiteful or is there a real issue?
I've found myself taking on an issues just because I was angry and hurt. Again no benifit to my son.
3. Stupid is not grounds for taking action.
Just because she's acting stupid does not mean I have to react to it. Again, is it a benifit to my son?
My question to you is.... are you hurt and angry or is this a real threat to your children?
My ex has a boyfriend and he treats my son well. That's good enough for me. Other then that, it's none of my business.
Just remember "What goes around, comes around". If she's messing with a married man it will blow up in their faces sooner or later.
HTH
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| 3/14/2008 1:43:11 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
adelinesmother
Fremont, NE
age: 38
| If she is a good mother and cares for your children while they are with her, then you exposing an affair in her personal life is really something you have no business doing.
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| 3/14/2008 2:45:00 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
magtag
East York, ON
age: 41
| I truly don't think it is your place to expose this boyfriend of hers. Number one, you will appear to be jealous whether you are or not. This man's wife may or may not believe you for this reason and you may make a big mess and not succeed in any way protecting your children from this.
Having said that, I do believe that this is sending a powerful message to your children about what is right and wrong in relationships and marriage and I personally would be quite upset if my ex were teaching my son horrible lessons about relationships like this. A child should NOT grow up thinking that it's OK to have affairs with married people or that it is acceptable to cheat in relationships. This is what she is teaching your children.
The question...what the hell to do about it???!!! I think you can only deal with this on a parenting level and only with your ex-wife, her boyfriend and/or your lawyer. How much communication do you have with your ex and is it somewhat civil? Can you talk to her about the damage she is likely doing to your childrens' future outlook on relationships? Is there any kind of relationship between you and this man that you may be able to have a civil conversation with him about your concerns? If this is not something you think will happen, then have you spoken to your lawyer about the situation? What are the chances of you having custody until she sorts this relationship out?
I don't think that you can judge your ex's relationship or choices, they really are not your business...BUT you have a right to protect your childrens' well-being and have a say in their upbringing. I think this is more a matter of finding a way to have your children not involved until either this man does leave his wife, or your ex leaves this man.
Sorry, I don't think I've given you any kind of real solution, nor do I know if anyone here can. I do think that you have to be really clear when dealing with this that it is about your children and NOT about you or your ex. Don't let the two cross over or you'll really have a big mess on your hands.
All the best to you, I hope you can find some kind of answer!
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| 3/14/2008 2:48:39 PM | Ratting Out The Ex.... | |
bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 47
| talk to the ex,,,,,let her know that you know whats going on,,,,,kids need to know right from wrong,,,
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