| 3/15/2008 3:46:06 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
luvzhugz12
Richardson, TX
age: 42
| I know a lot of you have been through divorce under different circumstances. For me, I chose to divorce, there is no animosity and only been a couple of glitches. However, yesterday I was informed that my divorce will be final on May 16, and even though this is what I wanted there is still a bit of pain and sadness involved. So my question is this, has anyone else had this happen and what are some things you have done to bring peace back to your mind? Thank you for any input available.
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| 3/15/2008 4:22:09 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 51
| It won't really hit you until May 16 or 17.Hard to describe, kinda like an empty hole in your gut. Not the I miss the ex thing, the I used to come home to a family and now I don't.
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| 3/15/2008 5:18:55 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
susie_seashore
Daytona Beach, FL
age: 51
| My experience was one of sadness. We had a rocky road for a long time and I had to finally make the decision for divorce, and stick with it. I was already moving on with my life, but the actual day when the divorce came I cried like a baby after it was over. It is a weird thing. 
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| 3/15/2008 5:30:09 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
smokeslow
Keansburg, NJ
age: 53
| TIME WILL HELP TO HEAL WOUNDS,IF YOUR 'BOTH' REASONABLE/SANE PEOPLE!DON'T JUMP IN AGAIN, MESS WITH SITES LIKE THIS AND 'ALLWAYS KEEP IT LITE WITH THE PEOPLE YOU MEET"BE GLAD TO BE 'ALIVE',AND ENJOY 'YOUR' LIFE!!!!!!      
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| 3/15/2008 5:55:40 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
luvzhugz12
Richardson, TX
age: 42
| Thanks all! It's funny you always think if it was your choice that your reponses will be nothing but positive about your decision, but it doesn't seem to be that way.
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| 3/15/2008 6:19:48 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| oh sorry I thought this said the big "O"
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| 3/15/2008 6:55:23 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
ks52
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 52
| It doesn't seem to matter what the issues were that brings one to this place...when it's done...it's done and there's no going back. Lots of emotions to work thru, but you will work thru them. Good luck lady. It'll be good again.
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| 3/15/2008 7:48:12 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
wolfkeeper
Hamilton, MI
age: 46
| OK, again...
Divorce isn't like buying a dress.. something you can take back. Mark the day it was final as a first step to a new life. Dont look back. Dont live in the past. This goes for your Ex too.. leave him alone.
[Edited 3/15/2008 7:52:24 PM]
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| 3/15/2008 8:11:43 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54
| No matter how justified, necessary, or whatever the moment it's done. It suddenly hits you that tomorrow will be the first day of a new life,sorta like being reborn. In some ways it is, but the longer it's over the better it feels and you just got to proceed with caution and hit life running again
[Edited 3/15/2008 8:12:26 PM]
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| 3/15/2008 8:49:27 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
thankuvets
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 40
| THere is no words to help you, time really, its different for each person.. and in what order it hits..
My EX is not going throught what I did our first two months, I am not doing okay, somewhat, the sadness is still there sometimes, but its more cause the kids hate it than I want her back..
I do miss the normal life, but its for the best, I think, so just give it time, spend time with your friends, that has helped me alot, and riding my bike alot..
I wont give you a bunch of nice words about it, it sucks, it will hurt and you will cry alot, just keep telling yourself, it will get better and someday you will find a love that is meant for.
I have to believe that, cause I am tired of being alone, but I am still hoping to find my true love meant for me now..
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| 3/15/2008 9:37:19 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
jewls363
Lincoln, NE
age: 45
| What alot of people here said is true. It wont hit you until may 16th. Mine was very justified and I would never have stayed or will never go back. It didnt hit me until THAT day. Then I knew it was over and I was very sad and in despair. Its like the death of a dream. Even after 6 years I still sometimes miss what I once had , but again I know I would never go back. Ya have to figure out which is the lessor of two evils.
Some people choose to get divorced simply because they think they no longer are compatible, but WHO is? Really. You have to look deep within yourself to find your own happiness. No one was put on this earth with the job to make any of us happy. Have you tried counseling my freind? The big "D" may not be what you are looking for after all. After all Love isn't just a feeling it is also a choice. I wish you the best in all that you do and all that you are. HUGS
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| 3/15/2008 10:22:34 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
dippintoes
Roseville, CA
age: 52
| I Think the hardest thing for me was to accept is my dream of being with my husband for the rest of my life. The planning for our furture togeather, that was hard to deal with. Having the intimacy that is a part of marriage. Learning how to make long term dicisions
for yourself. Comming to terms with that has been diffcult. The date of the final divorce was closesure. The marriage was over long before you get to the date. I wish you all the best, it is hard but we all get thur. And we all learn from every expierance good and bad....
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| 3/15/2008 10:30:41 PM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 48
| Your feelings are normal, no matter how bad you want or don't want the divorce, when it is final, it is like you sort of failed. Like you didn't finish something you set out to do. These feelings will fade in time. Stay strong.
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| 3/16/2008 7:56:45 AM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
chained48
New Baltimore, MI
age: 48
| I was married for nearly 20 years, I filed, it wasnt the best of marriages..yet......it was one of the hardest things to recover from. It was the death of a dream, of a family.of everything. It took a while, but I was ok with it and grew into a much stronger person.
Mylast relationship of 10 years recently ended. While not married,it is equally hard. I was more open with this person, more trusting. I know I;ll get beyond it, but its still not easy. You'll be ok , just give yourself some time to heal and be comfortable with yourself. Best wishes for you!
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| 3/16/2008 8:05:17 AM | Dealing with the big 'D' | |
sea_wench1
Chandler, AZ
age: 55
| I feel for all of you..and hope all works out for you...My story is different..I have no regrets of walking out..I am not looking back..only to a bright future..My marriage was like have a soaked wet heavy towel on your shoulders and now it's gone.....( wink ) Sea
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