kittyeater1984
Portland, OR
age: 23
| what would be the best way to get back in touch with humanity and learn how to socialize with people after going through a traumatizing experience or being basically away from the general population for a long time
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southbuster
Haughton, LA
age: 31
| As in?
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metu
Mansfield, TX
age: 46
| Volunteer to help someone equally or more traumatized than you............
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familyguy58103
Los Angeles, CA
age: 88
| Excellent answer metu, you can get trapped in your misery and sorrow unless you can get outside of your own head and reconnect in a meaningful way.
[Edited 3/16/2008 11:31:33 AM]
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kittyeater1984
Portland, OR
age: 23
| im not in any situation to help others when i cant even help myself i want to help others but need to worry about me first sounds selfish but its true
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italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53
| walk into a soup kitchen and start helping..
go visit at a Vet's home and start talking..
go to a childrens hospital and start playing...
there are all sorts of ways to open you up....but do it with a smile on your face and compassion in your eyes
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
| Hopefully you aren't talking about you! You are only 23! It's not easy to get close again when you have been hurt. You lose trust of people.
You have to work really hard to learn to let go of the fear of being hurt again, or avoiding people/situations so you don't go through pain again. My own belief (and this might not be yours...) is that we "choose our own adventure" before we are born... the people who play roles (the good, bad and ugly) in our lives are people we've traveled with many times. We chose these lives to fully experience life... It's about the journey.
So "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." I have had several times that I thought "enough already!" and wanted to exit this planet (I am not saying I was suicidal... but just weary of the crap).
But... I keep choosing to stay because I ultimately believe life IS good, and so are people. Don't let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch as they say.
I can pretty much say "been there, done that" to every type of pain. I didn't really have parents around growing up, date-raped on my first date as a virgin, married to someone who kept spending all our money keeping us in deep debt who did drugs as well, had spinal surgery and ended up a paraplegic (which I am now walking again), got kicked out of a church I was going to for confronting the leadership about things I was seeing going on (and was subsequently "invisible" by the entire community losing all my friends in the church), I was in a long-distance relationship online 10 years ago (we would talk on the phone 3-5 hours a night and he would visit me) but being he had lots of money and too much time on his hands, he was seeing 4 other women around the world as well, and once I recovered from that and dared to trust again, I thought I had found "Mr Right" only to have him (in our last year together) having an emotional affair with my mother via the phone 2-3 times a day (which destroyed my relationship with my mother), who left me for another woman yet...
I had to learn what my responsibility in all this was and FIX ME. Then I had to learn when it was not ABOUT ME! A delicate balance there...
Stay strong! Stand in who you are!
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gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| thanks for such a great posting!
Everyone who goes through trauma - like alcohol abuse, drugs, rape, violence etc., must heal.
Healing cannot be rushed or forced.
Many people rush to replace or repair - like when your dog dies and the next day you buy a puppy...
You cannot DO that to repair your life.
It's normal to FEEL the desire to, but in truth what you're doing is only taking bufferin to ease the hurt when you arm got removed at the shoulder. Won't work.
What heals?
Time. A good strong resource - such as counseling, support group, a good strong friends with patience and tolerence to listen and be there. Information, knowledge, growth, love, support.
What doesn't work?
Bagging on other people.Playing games. Hurting because you were hurt. Vindictive actions.
Pain = pain.
Pain won't heal.
Love heals.
Time heals.
Patience heals.
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