| 3/19/2008 1:46:57 AM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
markmeunier
Timmins, ON
age: 41
| Why does it seem that so many people put every effort into finding that person for who they desire, and then if they manage to gain a foothold in their life they turn distant and cold? Are they uncertain as to what it realy is they want, or are they unsure as to what it is that they have actually found? Is the chase worth more than the catch? Does the bolstering of our own egos outweigh the possibility of true happiness? Is it fear or emotional weakness? Or are we always looking to do better?
Just curious as I have seen this played out soooo many times in life. Not an issue for me personally, but possibly something worth getting a deeper insight into.
Mark
[Edited 3/19/2008 1:59:38 AM]
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| 3/19/2008 2:44:09 AM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 54
| Mark... (sorry forgot the last name and I can't see it from here!) Excellent topic - thank you for posting it!
I think in my own experience (when I was young), how I might have reacted to the chase was due to my own dysfunction at the time. I liked the chase, but I would panic thinking about the follow-thru! Any form of emotional intimacy scared the crap out of me then. Our parents gave us our first experience of what love was... mine was non-existent then.
I think now, I do like the chase... what I think I really like is MOMENTUM. I have a quick mind, I get bored easily and intelligence is a very sexy and important thing to me... I notice that if someone can't keep that momentum and the dialog starts to slow, I can drift right out of the ballgame quickly.
Is the chase worth the catch? YES with the right person. In my last relationship, I loved it that he could keep up with me on paper (as ya'll have noticed, I can be a bit prolific...LOL), and he was my match intellectually and spiritually. WOW... FIREWORKS.
Bolstering egos vs true happiness: Well, I know how ego can pull out the dysfunction in us -- so definitely YES -- we can run from happiness because of the fear the Ego creates!
Is it fear or emotional weakness -- MARK... could you elaborate a bit more for me? I am not sure what you are asking (maybe because it's 2:42 and I should go to bed!!!)
And doing better -- you mean the "I have this guy... but always have one eye open for the BETTER one coming?" That sucks. I dated one guy that did that! How could I ever feel good about THAT relationship? My son does that! I read him the riot act for that one!
Ev 
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| 3/19/2008 2:52:14 AM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
markmeunier
Timmins, ON
age: 41
| Fear of what may or should come naturally from the progression of said relationship, or emotional turmoil that requires the release of all barriers. Hope that helps. I am a little obscure at times and my three fingered typing has its work cut out for it trying to keep up with my ever racing brainpan...
Mark
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| 3/19/2008 9:52:33 AM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 54
| Thank you for the clarification Mark....
I got over that fear thing... even being emotionally betrayed twice in my lifetime. And being REAL is my middle name... I have no problem with that. But then again, I am not normal! LOL
Ev
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| 3/19/2008 12:47:55 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
collegekidunot
Winnsboro, LA
age: 48
| it's kinda like wile e. coyte chasing the road runner. now that i've got him/her, what do i do with him/her? love is strange!
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| 3/19/2008 1:02:31 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
stormygrl
Casa Grande, AZ
age: 42
| Well I don't chase anyone if they don't come naturally then I don't play games. Also I never run and I never get chased...
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| 3/19/2008 1:09:04 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
collegekidunot
Winnsboro, LA
age: 48
| if he wants me for me, then ok. if he's just looking for just a booty call, let him go to an escort service. maybe spitzer can give him his old call girls phone #!
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| 3/19/2008 1:18:18 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
lucasboy
Ashford, WA
age: 59
| CAn i get those spitzers # too lol lucas
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| 3/19/2008 1:20:21 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
illplayuasong33
Spokane, WA
age: 33
| not don't....it makes me crazy!!! lol
i like things to just happen :}
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| 3/19/2008 1:21:23 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 50
| Chase all ya wanna, not gonna catch ole lonesome....
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| 3/19/2008 1:21:56 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
lucasboy
Ashford, WA
age: 59
| HI illplay nice to see you on here LUCAS
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| 3/19/2008 1:22:40 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
darrelslookn4u
Bullhead City, AZ
age: 47
| Some of us (JUST LOVE IT!)
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| 3/19/2008 1:27:32 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
lucasboy
Ashford, WA
age: 59
| THE [CHASE] is without a doubt the best and most fun exciteing part of any relationship as long as you can keep it going.---LUCAS
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| 3/19/2008 2:12:59 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
belladreams
Binghamton, NY
age: 38
| Hi Mark.... I actually know what i want, but I have not had the guts to tell him yet, and yes, he has been found... I have settled in my ways. My paryting days are over. It is now to settle and start a new life and possibly a family. I have put the past behind me. I have grown up so much since then. Now the tough part. What do i know? Do i just sit here and not say anything, or do i take my chances?
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| 3/19/2008 2:27:37 PM | Do men and women prefer the chase? | |
markmeunier
Timmins, ON
age: 41
| Lisa, nothing ventured nothing gained. By all means reach out for what may be the most important decision in your life currently. The worst that can happen is that you will remain where you are currently. The rewards for your efforts could outshine the brightest day you have ever experienced. The only time we really lose is when we quit or fail to even try.
Mark
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