| 3/24/2008 12:31:13 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
sweetlady80
Barbourville, KY
age: 27
| One of my closest friends has gotten herself into a situation that I cannot tell her what to do. Here is the situation:
One of our friends introduced her to one of her neighbrs. She is pretty and outgoing. She usually has a good head on her shoulders. She is a wonderful mother. The guy is a bachelor of 11 years with a 14 yr old son. The kids get along great. His son thinks the world of her and her kids think the world of him. The problem is that he hasn't had a serious relationship in over 11 yrs. He is a country boy through and through. He can't discuss/tell her his feelings. He can talk to her about anything. He counts on her when he is sick/hurt. She is one of the biggest hearted people that you will ever meet. He is shy and reserved unless he is drinking. He even quit cocaine for her. I have seen him throw one of his friends out because she don't like him. He is afraid of having a relationship with her. She does anything for him that he wants. He has even told her that she has done more for him in 3 weeks then anyone has ever done for him. They were together for about 2 months. Then she up and disappeared for 3 months on him. Then one day we were having a gals' night at our friends she calls him up. They made plans to see each other. She walked in his house that night and you would have thought they hadn't seen each other in years. He didn't want to let her go. She loves him, but is afraid that she is wasting her time with him. He even calls his house her home and her bed. He asked her one night in bed what keeps pulling them back to each other. She told me that she didn't know what to say so she just looked at him. He treats her good when it is just the two of them or if it is our friends, but he does a 180 when his friends come into play. He has told her on several times that he loves her, but he was drinking when he did. He told her last night that he missed her when she was there with him, Yet tells his sister or anyone else that he would never date her or be anything to her. Problem with that is you can see that he loves her and that she loves him. He plays Travis Tritt's song "The Love of a Woman" everytime she is around him. He has even went far enough to tell her that if she has anything at another boyfriend's house that she needs to bring it home. Plus he wants her to leave her pillow and an extra outfit at his house. He makes plans to go do things as a couple, but he says they are just friends with benefits. He took care of her when her grandmoher passed away. He wanted her there with him and not with us.
Can anyone tell me what keeps pulling them back to each other? I have sat and listened to this poor girl cry her eyes out trying to decide what to do. She says that she isn't strong enough to stay away from him just yet. Please help me help my friend....
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| 3/24/2008 12:37:36 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
roggor
Merlin, OR
age: 80
| sort of like trying to give up the booze or something else that is pleasureable and painful in one bundle...
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| 3/24/2008 12:42:14 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
trance08
Boulder, CO
age: 44
| i got here as soon as i could .. what in the world is wrong!
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| 3/24/2008 12:53:26 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54
| You know the truth but if you want conformation, unless she can split him in half it's time to get the Hell out before he decides to add macho to booze and she winds up in the hospital or worse. This guy is an accident wating to happen, and when you see an accident coming and you cant stop, mash on the gas and get the hell out of the way. As long as she goes back she's part of the problem, makes her an enabler. Wish it wasn't so.
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| 3/24/2008 1:05:46 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
sweetlady80
Barbourville, KY
age: 27
| He would not hurt her for the world. He is a gentle hearted man just very guarded with his heart and feelings. He isn't a aggressive person even when drinking.
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| 3/24/2008 1:07:42 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
harley9482
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 25
| i fully agree with the above, especially daddy duck. If he wants to be considered a man, let alone one worth her time and energy, then he needs to step up or leave for good. Even good ol' boys respect gentle women enough to not prolong pain like that.
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| 3/24/2008 1:10:49 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
wizduels
Lees Summit, MO
age: 33
| At least he is honest. That alone is hard to find. There are other guys out there though. Leaving the guy isn't the end of the world.
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| 3/24/2008 3:02:11 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
mosplace
Boulder City, NV
age: 46
| He is not being honest!!! ntells friends and family they just friends when they are sleeping together?  tell her give him ultimatum 1) we are friends or 2)lovers
If its 1 then quit sleeping with him!!! (make him wake up and smell coffee). 2( when sobre she meeds to ask him if he loves her if he says yes then next step ask him in front of friends then in front of family (not when drinking and not to embarass him) she just needs help him get over the (he would probably call it embarassment) of admitting that he cares for someone. Its the shy silent type that have a hard time admitting their feelings in front of friends and family and she with her love can help him over the hurdle
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| 3/24/2008 3:03:55 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
mosplace
Boulder City, NV
age: 46
| cant type tonight sorry  4 of us did 42 hours of work in 8 or less
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| 3/24/2008 3:10:48 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
sweetlady80
Barbourville, KY
age: 27
| Mosplace....
thanks for the advice, but here is a question that I cant quite answer for her no matter what....
What keeps pulling them back to each other?? They have both tried to stay away from each other, but they cant seem to get away and stay away
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| 3/24/2008 3:14:43 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57
| You said he gave up Cocaine for her, hes been there for her in times of needing a shoulder. I'd say its an addiction for both of them...they have to decide if its a Good one or a Bad one.
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| 3/24/2008 3:17:23 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
mosplace
Boulder City, NV
age: 46
| one or the other its either love or lust, but, with your story Id have to say love on her part probably his too but he wont admit it when sobre ,but, being he says it drunk is scary. If I were her Id run fast and far she will probably get burned in the end unless he starts admitting real soon and when sobre that he loves her
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| 3/24/2008 3:20:25 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
mosplace
Boulder City, NV
age: 46
| sorry I disagree they give up drugs because they want to you cannot force them Its something he wanted to do and used her for an excuse.My sister was an addict it took an accident where she almost lost her sight for her to give it up she went to rehab 3 times nothing worked! He did it (if he did he might be hiding it) for him not her!~!
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| 3/24/2008 4:31:48 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
susyk65
Appleton, WI
age: 43
| They don't just give up cocaine for anyone. Cocaine is a man's woman. I lived with it for 15 years, as my husband was an addict. I would tell her to get out unless she is ready for alot of stress and drama.
[Edited 3/24/2008 4:32:20 AM]
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| 3/24/2008 4:40:13 AM | Friend of mine needing advice QUICK!!!! PLEASE | |
mosplace
Boulder City, NV
age: 46
| yay susy
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