southernlady44
Pulaski, TN
age: 45
| I have treated men like gold - like KINGS - and watched them all lie, cheat and leave! I've seen my friends treat men like crap, and watched those men beg to stay; beg to come back! I don't get it!
Here is what I do get: "you're a real sweetheart and I love ya to death, but....." and "you could be my girlfriend RIGHT NOW and I know you'd treat me like a king - you already do - but I just don't want a girlfriend....." (and then he has had three or four since that statement)
If I treat you like a king - and I'm a real sweetheart - and ya love me to death.....
................but......WHAT??????
(and if it's the weight issue - which it always is - be man enough to be honest about it! and I hope you realize what you are missing out on for making it an issue!)
WHY??? Any input?
K.
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wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 54
| Hi Southernlady...
I had to sit and think about this one for a moment. I don't get responses like that from men. They either love me totally -- or they don't at all. And when they don't -- it's usually due to their personal preferences or differences in lifestyle.
All I can think of is you are attracting the wrong sort of people. (Did you by any chance read my "Tips to Find a Great Partner?" post? It's long, but defines the two types of people we attract in our lives). It's an online BOOK! LOL.
Even though these people are nice to you and obviously enjoy what you offer and SOUND like they care; but they are people who are obviously rejecting you. It sounds like they are telling you what you want to hear to get whatever you are offering them as their "friend" -- but from the comments they make to you -- it sounds like they are using you.
One saying comes to my mind - "We teach people how to treat us." Do you try to "win" or "entice" them back with something? Try to get them to love you? Try to show them how much they NEED you?
I know in my younger, more needy days, I would do that. Now, I only GIVE what I GET. It has to be give and take totally -- or not at all.
You are beautiful -- don't settle for "good enough" or "barely." All or nothing at all is the way I work!
Ev 
[Edited 3/25/2008 7:30:22 PM]
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smilin_bob
Broadway, VA
age: 47
| Basic communication 101:
Any time the word "but" is used in a statement, all words prior to the word "but" are null and void.
You are right in asking but WHAT?
I think you are dating weak men.. Men afraid to stand up and speak their mind AND the truth.
I wish you the best of luck!
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