| 3/26/2008 7:59:17 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
| I see a lot of posts requesting advice on the board regarding relationships and so forth and a lot of what should been done in the beginning to prevent such a disaster. This post should help clear those things up. After all this is a dating site.
Preventative Measures will help eliminate potential disasters in the short and long term. But it's all based on careful selection and observation. Below are some suggested preventative measures for those in the dating game.
Don't put all your energy (eggs) into one person on the first date, be yourself, have fun, but don't get too caught up into (this is the one for me mode) may people men and women develop that good feeling inside after the first good date - remember, it's the first date, don't think that same attitude and demeanor will be present if and should you continue to date and or start into a relationship - especially when adversity is present
Keep in mind, you don't know the person. Everyone has a past, different parental upbringings, past relationships, current circumstances, current family situation, social skills, introvert/extrovert, motives in life in general, certain quirks, and if they are over 30, don't think any bad habits already developed will change just because you stepped into the picture. All these things and more shape a person's behavior and their mental state. Once you get past the beauty, all these combined entities will give you a clear picture of who you are really working with.
Remember, trust is earned - never given.
Don't buy into words and verbal things. Take note, but don't get too caught up in the hype. Remember, even CON men can make themselves look good. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, GO BY A PERSON'S ACTIONS.
Be very observant. Pay attention to ALL RED FLAGS - BIG OR SMALL. These red flags are often overlooked because of sex, money, and looks. Remember there are 24 hours in a day, and sex, depending on the man can last anywhere from 10 seconds to over an hour. Remember sex is gravy, not the bulk of the relationship. You have to pick a partner that you gel with on all levels. Remember people get laid off every day, foreclosures happen every day, while money is good, don't select someone just for the money. Remember, looks fade, but what's in the heart lasts a lifetime.
Have standards, but don't be too picky. No one is a perfect speciman phsycially. There isn't a person on earth without a flaw(s) on their body and or some type of health condition. Some people are just too picky physically and or mentally and demeanor and or habit wise. And many leave a situation because of something stupid and or small. Remember no one is perfect.
Don't get too caught up in emailing/chatting back and forth without talking especially with a shadow. Many people get disappointed at the end because they wasted time and effort for weeks only to be mislead.  The sooner you talk and meet is always better. 
Remember, not everyone will like the same things you do. Therefore, this could be a good thing as opposites do attract. So remember just because someone is different, doesn't mean that they are not the one for you. That's when understanding that he/she is different. If one can accept that learn and understand those differences, AS LONG AS THEY ARE NOT BAD DIFFERENCES, things can work out in harmony as a compliment effect (complimenting each other)
Now many may read and some may say, I already know that. However, like I tell people, it's easy to agree with something on paper, but putting it into practice and actually following through and doing is totally different 
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| 3/26/2008 8:10:13 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
74nova
Underwood, ND
age: 23
| That is some very good points that most people overlook. It can actually be a habit for some to do the opposite of what you stated.
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| 3/26/2008 8:37:31 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
singleagain50
Greenville, SC
age: 50
| Very good Advice.
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| 3/26/2008 8:39:08 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| Awesome thread thebestman
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| 3/26/2008 8:47:16 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
| thanks for the comments and  chopper 
[Edited 3/26/2008 8:47:40 PM]
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| 3/26/2008 8:50:03 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| I'll have to remember this thread when I see the whining again and bring it to the surface ... which we all know will happen 
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| 3/26/2008 8:59:31 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
ladyinparis
Paris, TX
age: 41
| Here is some advice for men seeking a relationship. Know the definitions of these 9 words that ALL women use and you can make any relationship work!
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2)Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3)Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 
(4)Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 
(5)Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6)That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 
(7)Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8)Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!
(9)Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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| 3/26/2008 9:10:46 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
nealdude
Champaign, IL
age: 50
| the bestman is a cool dude, he can type all that and drive at the same time. lol 
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| 3/26/2008 9:13:33 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| nealdude, that was funny 
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| 3/26/2008 9:19:01 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
osipsc
Chicago, IL
age: 54
| Great post!
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| 3/26/2008 9:21:20 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
nealdude
Champaign, IL
age: 50
| Well I find some people on here are too serious, I like to have fun so I do and f**kum if they don't like it. lol
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| 3/26/2008 9:29:49 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
celeste57
Ramsey, NJ
age: 51
| bestman:Good advice and it never hurts to read it over once and awhile to remind ourselves what's important and real. And bestman you are quite a looker, and smart too
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| 3/26/2008 9:32:12 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
wandering_soul
Kelowna, BC
age: 53
| Great post bestman! You brought up some points I left out...
Everyone has a past, different parental upbringings, past relationships, current circumstances, current family situation, social skills, introvert/extrovert, motives in life in general, certain quirks, and if they are over 30, don't think any bad habits already developed will change just because you stepped into the picture. All these things and more shape a person's behavior and their mental state. Once you get past the beauty, all these combined entities will give you a clear picture of who you are really working with.
OH MAN... I forgot about that in my posts! The whole reason my relationship broke up. If you're "open" like me, and marry someone who's "private" - not a great thing for communication. It doesn't show up until they don't like something you did!! Or the extrovert/introvert one... if they don't like going out when you meet them, they will REALLY become housebound when you settle into your life! All those points are generally things people think they are going to change about someone...
Thanks (you can do the typing for a while now... LOL... they're sick of me and offering to bring up your posts to remind people... she never offered that to me!! Keep on typing dude... Seriously good insight though!)
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Ladyinparis - that was so funny I almost pee'd my pants laughing... that was the most accurate "female glossary of terms" I have EVER read!!
Ev 
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| 3/26/2008 9:36:47 PM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
belladreams
Binghamton, NY
age: 38
| You are the greatest bestman. I will have to print out this thread and post it on my bulletin board at work, and I will never forget it. You could have not said it better. You rock.
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| 3/27/2008 3:21:34 AM | Some preventative dating tips to help those out there seeking advice | |
lovesflowers2
Fort Smith, AR
age: 47
| Thank you so much for this post...if you don't mind, I'm going to print it off and send it to a few friends who are single like myself who can use some good "advice".
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