bobbiemgee
Conway, SC
age: 42
| $500 dollar hand job 
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?" Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job.
Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job
is worth that kind of money!" The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner? "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes."And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own " And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500" Guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. give it a try. They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" The hooker replies, "$1,500.
wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!" The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500.
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up!" Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth." "He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some p*ssy?" The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something.
Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?" "Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?" "No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a p*ssy
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silkpanties53
Baytown, TX
age: 53
| Damn good one 
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metal1970
Towson, MD
age: 38
| I laughin soo much it brough tears to me eyes
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julymorning07
Saint James, MO
age: 55
| Okay, that does it! This weekend I am asking my friend to teach me how to do those two things like a guy would do it.
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 56
| An elderly guy walks into a new pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
#1 CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
#2 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50
#3 HANDJOB: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar
and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive women serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "
can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the #3?"
"Yes", she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger."
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