| 3/27/2008 6:43:19 PM | When The Lights Go Down | | 
towtrk1
Groton, CT
age: 36
| WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN
...And the streets go empty, there is nobody left except those left to clean up the mess. He will dutifully pick up the pieces. Shattered lives and broken dreams. Torn apart by the hardships of life and the bitter reality of their own mistakes. Wrestling with the images in his mind.
When the lights go down, the last call fades into yesterday, calling out the ghosts of things he had to see, thoughts he had to ponder, and struggling to find the reasons. Sitting alone off the beaten path, the eery black of city streets beckoning him to return for another round. He feels the desire to keep playing a game which can’t be won. The temptation to seek an escape he knows he can not bear the burden of. Wrestling with the devil who promises a salvation all his own.
When the lights go down, he will be left with nothing, except the satisfaction he yearns for that becomes increasingly harder to find. The glamour fades away to reveal the timid man he wishes for nobody to see. He stands not as tall, only to clean the smoke from his lungs, the dirt from his hands, and tears from his eyes. A guardian with nothing left to protect. A hero with nobody left to save, except himself. There is nothing left to be. Only the man he knows he is. The man who longs to drift away, if only for a while.
When the lights go down, he struggles with the memories of a loved one lost. With nobody to help, and nobody to care, he whispers the words he never found the courage to share. Fighting back the memory of what once was. Had the light shown upon that so clearly then as it did now. He hears echoes with the voices of regret, the screams of guilt and the crying of the truth. A landslide of emotions that threatens to consume him.
When the lights go down, he returns to a house he wishes was a home. To gather his thoughts, his dreams, and his desires. A life of self righteousness, he grows older each minute, watching them all slip past. Comfort found only in faith, he rests his weary mind, replenishment comes not soon enough. For tomorrow will bear more burdens to swallow. The choking reality of a life too short to fight with; yet too old to repair. The fields of destruction are littered with his suffering; the mist covered mountains can’t shield him from the winds of his past. He is at arms with himself. Another battle he can’t win. No desire to do so, yet no desire to quit. His strength is found in a far off place. A place he has never seen, but one he knows exists, if only for his own good. He is weak and tired. Beaten by the winds of change.
When the lights go down, he finds peace in his own solace. Away from the crowds, he finds no calm amongst the masses. Left to his own therapy, he cures his own wounds. Losing himself in music, he feels the words others have spoken. It is here he feels himself grow. For no other can see what he sees. His path has been chosen, he accepts its destination. His journey is one he wishes upon none other. A road never traveled; only his footprints will be left. Lost emotions found once again. The answers he searches for will be shown to him, only to fade into the darkness. His mind comes to ease. His journey, unorthodox in itself, is worthy enough.
| | 3/28/2008 12:57:57 PM | When The Lights Go Down | | 
lcl38
Everett, MA
age: 47
|  I loved it.It was great. Laurie.
| | 3/28/2008 11:05:53 PM | When The Lights Go Down | | 
pandorazzz_box
Saco, ME
age: 37
| WOW...
I am amazed and impressed by writing that makes me feel something....
I am amzed and impressed.
| | 3/29/2008 6:21:13 PM | When The Lights Go Down | | 
towfrogg
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 51
| Tow speaks from the heart,I think hes seen a lot in his lifetime,somethings we should never see. The highway is one big war of peaces we have to pickup,Its hard,I feel for you tow,I have seen to much myself.The children that get hurt is the one thing that never leaves you.
| | 4/3/2008 9:37:42 PM | When The Lights Go Down | | 
tedric
Anchor Point, AK
age: 67
| He and "Towfrogg" are TOW TRUCK operators... You know, the people we think only run around repossessing little old lady's VWs. They clean up after accidents.
Read it again.
| | 4/4/2008 6:07:05 PM | When The Lights Go Down | |
tedric
Anchor Point, AK
age: 67
| Hope so. I'd like to see more of towtrk1's stuff.
The house not being a home is a little vague; it would be nice to hear more on those lines.
Incidentally, I reread my post reply to yours ~ didn't mean to come off so judgemental. Sorry.
[Edited 4/4/2008 6:08:26 PM]
| | 4/5/2008 9:28:02 AM | When The Lights Go Down | |
towtrk1
Groton, CT
age: 36
| The subject yearns for a real home, not just a roof over his head. What makes a house a home? Love, family, a safe haven. etc? His job has consumed him to the point where its all he has left; his wife has left, his friends have stopped calling because he's always away. The job has consumed him. It's overrun him, completely consuming him to the point where the house is just a place to lay his head.
A life of self-righteousness... his life is a journey. One in which he tries to make himself a good person, always doing the right thing. However, with a lack of better direction, he justifies his righteousness by doing right by others; helping them when they need it. bringing hope to others versus himself, because its the only way he knows how to make himself feel worthy to society.
| | 4/5/2008 9:30:35 AM | When The Lights Go Down | | 
icedsnow63
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 44
| In a way TOW that is sad...is that how you really feel...or did you just have anoter bad night ad wrote while you were in your truck
[Edited 4/5/2008 9:47:16 AM]
| | 4/5/2008 9:34:00 AM | When The Lights Go Down | |
icedsnow63
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 44
| Zathras, maybe his ghosts are his own....whether he gets to the point or not you can still see in his writings that there is some deep seeded trauma from some area that maybe he isn't comfortable sharing with strangers...yet he still let it seep out in his writings that way he isn't comsumed with depression, guilt, anxiety, etc....i think what he is doing is healthy
| | 4/6/2008 6:20:57 PM | When The Lights Go Down | |
towtrk1
Groton, CT
age: 36
| This was originally written after a bad night at work over 2 years ago.
In a sense I suppose that was how I was feeling, and do often feel at times. Since then my job description has changed somewhat so its not nearly as ludacrist as that, but as any career wrecker operator will tell you, the job can get morbid and monotonous. Back then, channeling those feelings into writing was better than a Shrink, and a lot cheaper too.
Not that I was ever suicidal or anything, but one has to realize that back then , I was not in a happy time in my life, and was often fighting for ways to relieve the frustration and anger versus lashing out violently like I felt I wanted to sometimes. For me, it was either put it on paper in ammaner I could make some good out of it, or take it home with me and turn my homelife into a worse case scenario. I chose to keep the keep the peace.
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