| 3/29/2008 8:26:44 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
l2kids44
Lanesville, IN
age: 45
| Two months of dating does not constitute a relationship where one brings gifts to children or covers the tab of people you probably don't even know. Perhaps she shouldn't have invited him to such a social family function until a relationship has been established. I certainly wouldn't have. He does seem to have some qualities that she likes and why should bringing or not bringing gifts end something that could potentially offer her safety and security and a future. Perhaps his being "cheap" is why he has what he has. Gifts are over rated. Being there for some one is what counts.
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| 3/29/2008 9:56:54 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| Heh, it isn't a question of momma not putting out. If anything momma ain't gettin' enuf, from what I hear.
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| 3/30/2008 5:23:11 AM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
cmjanew
Sayre, PA
age: 49
| old school 
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| 3/30/2008 5:41:27 AM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
dee_lightful
Skaneateles, NY
age: 45
| Kick his butt to the curb!
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| 3/30/2008 5:49:35 AM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53
| Doesn't matter that he was an invited guest...i still think it was cheap and inconsiderate as hell to not at least bring a card with a little money in it. Of course he wouldn't know what kind of present to buy, who does? ...but a card and 10 bucks would have been perfectly acceptable..
You're right, she will have to make her own choices here, but can't help thinking that she could do much better than this guy. It's not about the money, it's about having manners and being kind and thoughtful..sounds like he's lacking in some social skills.
Hope she figures this out and doesn't "short change" herself..
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| 3/30/2008 6:40:55 AM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 50
| He should know better. Was he raised by wolves?????
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| 3/30/2008 9:57:50 AM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
iamnumber5
Saint Augustine, FL
age: 49
| Old School Charm why arent you with her after all you are good friends
do you not cover all the infactuation that she so desires.
Because if she is looking for the Physical right one then she gets
what she is looking for
I know I will be kicked for this Men are NOT mind readers.
So Im sure it should be a decision she will need to make and
not the rest of the world.
JMO
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| 3/30/2008 11:21:35 AM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| Old School Charm why arent you with her after all you are good friends
do you not cover all the infactuation that she so desires.
That question has a very long and complicated answer. Eyes and I are dating right now, so that isn't even an option. She knows that my friendship with my vain friend was intimate some time ago. In fact, if we hadn't tried to see if there was a spark, I'd always wonder "what if?", and so would she. Because we did try, and know the result, Eyes has nothing to worry about.
The bottom line is that, according to my friend, I satisfied her intimately better than her boyfriend does, but we attribute that to her feeling comfortable and trusting with me, as opposed to wondering just how much he really cares about her. But, it was not a question of desire as much as her being horny, and us being alone, and well... There was no ardent lust to rip each other's clothes off. And, that is the feeling my friend desires in a relationship. I do not spark those feelings -- I am not her type physically, by a long shot. Furthermore, it is exactly the kind of a relationship I don't want. I want a relationship based on caring, empathy, lust-free love, where affection naturally gives rise to a physical relationship as well as an emotional one. To me, love and sex are part of a single continuum of expression. To my friend, they are separate, and distinct. So, we decided, mutually, it was better for us to be close friends, and nothing more.
That said, my friend desperately wants the kind of friendship she and I have, combined with a strong physical attraction. And she has the latter with her current boyfriend, but is lacking when it comes to the former. She hopes with time it will improve.
Many would say that we have the important aspects of a relationship covered, and many have asked us why we are not a couple when we are so close. Our response is that "we tried" and know what kind of relationship works best for us -- and it does not have a physical component.
I know that if we "tried again", she'd always have her eyes open for any attractive man that she thinks would treat her as well as I do. No resentment on my part -- that is the way she is. And, she enjoys both the benefits, and suffers the consequences, of her personality.
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| 3/30/2008 11:27:03 AM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
nashoba_miko
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 39
| Pic, even wolves arent that inconsiderate.
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| 3/30/2008 12:34:32 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
forestrose
Calgary, AB
age: 55
| Final thought: he should watch out that SHE is not after a portly share of his money,
as it sounds like that is pretty important. I also wonder at the maturity of anyone who
involves all their friends in their relationship issues.
I wouldn't want to date someone
who feels the need to be that public.
Especially if a man were to address an issue with
me, after having consorted with everyone else he knows first.
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| 3/30/2008 12:37:43 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
crazylisa
Newton, NJ
age: 40
| cheap cheap cheap!!!!!..............shes twelve years old!!!!of course youd bring a gift!!!!doesnt have to be expensive its the thought.
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| 3/30/2008 12:46:11 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
olderbutalive
Temple, TX
age: 55
| We may not have all the facts. Was it a last minute invite and he felt like she did it to try to get him to pay for the party. To be with someone two months and start expecting things is a little shallow in my opinion. I have been dating guys for months and we both pay for dinners sometime me sometime them but it is whatever each of us offers. Women want more rights but they still expect to get allt he old ones Won't work that way. Take the time before judging...we are judging not knowing the whole story.
[Edited 3/30/2008 12:49:48 PM]
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| 3/30/2008 1:21:33 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| It was not a last minute invite, and she did not expect him to pay for his share of the dinner, or her's or her kids' meal at all.
However, having not brought a gift, she was, IMO, rightly pissed off.
He has also raised issues about "What if one of us finds someone better?" though he admits that she is "the best he's had". I get the feeling he'd "trade up" if he could.
As for her making her affairs public, she is very insecure with regard to what is "normal" relationship behavior, wants feedback, and no one here can identify her. She is a faceless person.
Most of her friends tell her that men will not treat her the way she wants to be treated.
I think she deserves better, but that's just me.
She recently reported that he took her to a fine Italian restaurant for dinner, and they had "great sex" afterward, but I wonder if he just did that to get laid.
Many friends are telling her to dump him -- that he will never commit to her, and the longer she waits the more she will hurt, though my advice has been to wait and see how the relationship progresses, if it does.
[Edited 3/30/2008 1:24:27 PM]
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| 3/30/2008 5:14:12 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
lazarous67
San Jacinto, CA
age: 41
| listen to olderbutalive, she is wise. more woman should think like she does.
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| 3/30/2008 8:16:32 PM | Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? | |
eyeswideopened
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 43
| I think the moral of the story is that regardless how long you have been dating, when you go to a "dinner party", you never attend empty handed, especially a child's!
That right there shows disrespect and a conceided personality.
Clearly, she is in it for the sex and because he makes her look good so in essence, they are using one another. She wants him to change to what she wants and sadly this will only lead to disaster. You can never change a person, they have to want to change and do it on their own and obviously he is not willing to do it. So the story continues until one lets go.
Been there, done that.
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