| 4/11/2008 5:39:24 PM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
krupa1
Abilene, TX
age: 40
| Damn! Well stormy...with a name like that....looks like it is your turn to have your way with me.
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| 4/11/2008 10:11:44 PM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
collegekidunot
Winnsboro, LA
age: 48
| being a nun might help! that was just wrong! sorry!
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| 4/11/2008 10:15:43 PM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
olderbutalive
Temple, TX
age: 55
| TAke it slow and easy....Most the time Mr. Wrong or Miss Wrong is because things move to fast at first. Be friends first and give it time to see the faults before you getin too deep and if you can accept the faults and everyone has them...then you have find "Right" person
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| 4/11/2008 11:23:04 PM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 42
| Usually if there is a problem without then there is a problem from within.
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| 4/11/2008 11:24:45 PM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
flowergirl62
South Australia
Australia
age: 46
| Decide what you are looking for in a man and then you will have a better idea.
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| 4/11/2008 11:28:15 PM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
datdude1123
Fallon, NV
age: 24
| idiot choose mr right!!!!
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| 4/12/2008 1:17:46 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
bigman76
Suncook, NH
age: 23
| Katey, its easy. Take everything that attracted you to these guys, and look for the complete oposite. Dont just expect the guys to change, you also have to change.
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| 4/12/2008 4:13:04 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
cahalia
Assonet, MA
age: 64
| It really is difficult to comment on this without just a bit it more information on what kind of man you like. I have helped a friend of mine (female friend) to see beyond what she thinks she needs and wants. Never once have I told her right or wrong, just played the Devil's Advocate. Right now there is not a happier woman, and there is no Mr. Right just yet. Albeit I have never seen such a positive change in a person as her. Maybe it is what you don't say that attracts these men. You need to be positive about YOU! Remember this, YOU deserve the very best and so do your children. What is their story? Are you a sucker for the underdog? Are they the type that has a, "oh woe is me" story?
Are you the stronger, the seeker, the needier in a relationship? Maybe you need to LISTEN to what they don't say to you. 
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| 4/12/2008 4:23:40 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
cahalia
Assonet, MA
age: 64
| Ok, I just read your profile. I can't message you as I am too old to correspond with you according to DateHookUp. 
Anyways, your profile reads just what my friend was going through. And that sucked. Supportive criticism.......???
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| 4/12/2008 7:50:47 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
kateylady
North Liberty, IA
age: 28
| I think the hardest part for me is I love macho men that do manly stuff but think the world revolve around them and completely disrespect everyone and anyone. I feel really weird when I'm getting to know someone and they do nice things for me and try to help me. I've been on my own for so long that I am really working on accepting help.
My relationship I'm currently getting out of has left me destroyed, broke, and a little down. I flipped his truck in bad weather on the interstate, and he was concerned about his truck more than me who was in the process of being transported to the hospital on a backboard and neck collar. I now have to pay for that accident for the rest of my life with my body as arthritis has settled into my back and neck. I'm am in extreme pain every day and he still hounds me about the money he thinks I owe him. It hurts to find out the one person you love thinks a truck is more important than a human life. The accident was so bad, it shut down both sides of the highway for an hour and half. There are a lot of things I'm working on but it all takes time. My biggest concern is finding a positive male role model for my daughter. Everytime I get on this website, she looks at the pics and says "is he going to be your boyfriend?, what about him?, can I have a brother or sister?" She's 8 and it is hard to explain that I am looking for a friend first to get comfortable with then transition into a relationship. So, now that I have written a novel, there is a little bit more information! 
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| 4/12/2008 8:08:43 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
nibblediver
Monticello, MN
age: 45
| Things I've heard are, "Don't try so hard."
Then we hear, "You have to try harder to make the relationship work."
Those are both samples from experts.
The most significant item I ever heard was, "If you want change, you have to start with yourself."
Another item I value is to give yourself a break. Find a hobby or something different for yourself to get involved with, then once you've established (more or less a mental and emotional break for yourself) better turf to play on... The grass will grow greener and stronger.
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| 4/12/2008 8:17:57 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
kateylady
North Liberty, IA
age: 28
| Thanks nibblediver! I do appreciate all the advice everyone is giving. Except for the one guy that said "pick the right guy" or something, I may have blonde roots but they will be getting covered back up soon!!
Anyway, because of all that has been going on for the last year I have been working on myself a lot and looking back on how much I let myself be walked upon and used. That is not the example i want to set for my daughter. Big changes are going on now and I need friends for support and to meet new people to expand my search options!
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| 4/12/2008 8:24:56 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
nibblediver
Monticello, MN
age: 45
| Ahhh, you're welcome.
You mentioned a daughter. When I went through divorce I was advised to not start a relationship until they grew up. I devoted a lot of time and energy doing just that.
I've had a couple idle relationships, but most my time and energy goes into my daughters.
Patience will be mine.
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| 4/12/2008 8:25:35 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
pleasurepirate
Shreveport, LA
age: 47
| The first step is recognizing the problem. Many don't and keep finding the same man in different bodies.
You really need more help than you will get here alone and you would probably do better, for your's and your daughter's sake, to get some help first before looking for someone else. I would suggest Al-Anon would be a good place to start, even if some of your men don't drink, because they deal with people attracted to people who hurt them. Find them in the phone book or online.
You hit on something about the "manly" thing. You actually have a distorted picture of manliness. It's not manly to be a brute. That's acting like an animal and animal behavior is often attractive to women with problems understanding manliness. An example is the man who beats up anyone who looks at his woman and often beats her up, too, when he thinks she initiated it or looked back. Or the man who mistreats people by physically intimidating those who find him scary. (Funny how these "manly" guys, I call them animals, don't try to intimidate those that they themselves find scary.)
A real man is not one who intimidates those he isn't afraid of but who stands up to a**holes like your guy even if it puts them in danger. A real man is kind to people, especially those who have less power and influence such as waiters and waitresses. Abraham Lincoln, a real man himself, once said, "No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child."
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| 4/12/2008 8:48:32 AM | How do I break the cycle of choosing Mr. Wrong? | |
kateylady
North Liberty, IA
age: 28
| Thanks pleasurepirate,
I am not a fan of any of al-anon and groups of the like, but for people I know that do gain their support from that works for them. My family is my #1 support system and always has been.
I am working with different types of helpful places, but what I've found for me is beefing up my atrophied social skills gives me new perspectives on people in general and myself. I have always been alone throughout my life (by choice) never gaining the appropriate social skills. This has made it difficult for me to gain friends and I am putting myself out there to break the chains.
I'm not knocking what you are saying one bit. The last part of your message is very uplifting. This is what I mean, getting other peoples thoughts on a situation is awesome. You can take something from each person and really find what is best for you.
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