kateylady
North Liberty, IA
age: 27
|  I have never taken these sites seriously before now. I would like to know what the best type of picture is to put up. I am not photogenic and usually close my eyes or make a face when the camera goes off!
Thanks to anyone and everyone who puts their 2 cents in to help this dating site newbie meet new people!
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irresistiblered
Aurora, CO
age: 43
| A few recent and updated shots...maybe one or two that would show your whole standing up body...something goofy...something cute...whatever that matches your personality.
Here are the other stuff:
A good profile should point out all the amazing things that would make you, YOU, and give a glimpse of what you can bring to his life.
A great internet dating coach, I know, and can't remember his name, says that you need to make the guy who is reading it feel a chance of victory by your statements.
Here is what I mean:
1- "I am a Princess...and should be treated as such": ...Defeat.
2- "I am looking for my soul mate": ...Defeat.
3- "I want to be loved and feel important in a man's life.": Victory.
They all are saying the same thing, but the 3rd statement is obtainable and possible, while the top two are talking about a woman who is a handfull, demanding, and never satisfied. Who knows if anybody is someone else's soulmate. I'm sure the guy would be scratching his head and saying, "where is that heaven's handbook, so I can figure out if this woman's soulmate even exists. A very unobtainable goal, since even WE ourselves, might now. How do we expect them to know.
Then it comes to all those Princess comments. Which portray us as demanding, never happy, whats the word?...oh yeah... "High Maintainance"...and EVEN if a man comes in and wants to treat you like a Princess...Be weary...that man would be someone with emotional and severe character issues.
Write up in your profile statements that would make a man a winner, not set the standards up so high that they cannot ever reach.
In addition, you need to reminde him how wonderful it is to have a woman like you in his life and how amazingly you can "Enhance"...NOT "Transform" his existance.
1- "I hate men who are unkept and will not tolerate untidy house" :...Defeat.
2- "If you cannot get your finances together, you have no business looking for a date." :...Defeat.
3- "My house is warm and inviting and I work hard to keep my life in harmony, so when the time comes, I can be an asset and a PARTNER in every way." :...BANG VICTORY.
The first 2 statements are copied from very real profiles, the 3rd statements, i am just making up as i go. Once you have them next to eachother, which these guys do, (they see hundreds of profiles, in every search)....which girl do you think they will fixate on?
Ladies....Do NOT assume that:...well...they should just know that a girl who is 35 and makes $125K has her life in order. Men are somewhat dense. They do not get the point, unless it's written.
These profiles are somewhat your resumes. You need to talk about all those wonderful things about you, for the potential partner.
There are so much more golden wisdom in writing a good profile, that it will not fit into this post, AND, by God and Golly...I do not even pretend that I have the perfect one, or that I know everything there is to know. But I do try and I don't just fixate on my own needs and wants, but what goes on in his head and mind, and what I can do to be better...its not so much WYSIWYG, but what can I do to be a better partner, lover, and mate, and how can I make my faviorite man out there, to see who I am, and what I can do for him.
ONE LAST IMPORTANT FACT:
A well written profile, who portrays you as a Quality Partner, and has VERY specific "Victory Points", will..I repeat ...WILL... keep away all the crappy, creepy, and crawly away, much more than a vague, or hateful, or bitter, or don't-you-dare-write-to-me type profiles.
(if you guys are interested, we can keep this thread open and keep bringing up examples and "TO DO"s and "NOT TO DO"S...But I just hate to keep writing, and be stamped as Ms-Know-it-all...i jsut hate to see those of you who are amazing, exceptional, and deserving, to be burried and covered up by a profile that will never get you seen...its a real shame.)
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aka_neo
Marathon, FL
age: 51
| If you are a lady with style ,grace and charms ,with morals and ethic standards that demand respect ,that you wish admired ,not to be shamed ,post a photo that states your lifestyle as such.
If you wish to show your heart ,your soul,your spirit ,if you wish post a photo that states ,if you're happy ,or one ,of you in misery .
Most here will see and understand you quickly ,who you really are, by the posts that you share .
Hope you enjoy your visit and please know ,no matter how you are treated you're welcome to stay .
Some here are vile,obnoxious and down right mean . Join them ,if you wish ,or just leave them to themselves .
Most are fair ,honest and kind . Hope you're one .
Don't be shy .
Oh ,almost forgot ,
Have a Nice Day !
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 45
| Katie, You are off to a good start! I like your positive attitude.
Your profile is perfect in my eyes. You won't be on this site long.
[Edited 4/12/2008 11:10:54 AM]
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kateylady
North Liberty, IA
age: 27
| These are great tips that are helping out so much! I feel better about this site from the great comments that are being given to help me out. The people that are rude, etc need to go to their own site, because I think a lot of us are on here for true friendship and love. Keep the tips coming, it's like advice from your family!!
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