| 4/12/2008 12:41:24 PM | My Dating Effort...Entertainment... | | 
chrislyn
La Porte, TX
age: 34
| With an on again, off again relationship...basically meaning key issues are never being addressed. The same problems continue and we are not to talk about them. Well, let's don't talk about them now, because the light is OFF.
So, yes, I have made efforts to find another "friend"...someone who can go to dinner with me (actually show up)....and I am not saying EVERY DAY...at least once a week...is that asking too much? Eating alone gets old...being in a bar enjoying a drink but not wanting to get picked up...gets old...doing things alone daily...GETS OLD! I stay occupied but I know I deserve a partner in this crazy world.
I love people. I can talk and talk and talk. So, here is my exposure of the dating world...
Guy 1-Big guy...this is the guy you want to go out with you just so no one will mess with you...he's not fat...he's 6'2" and just appears as though he could kick your #ss...and he has the attitude to back it up...in the right situation...but he's really a very nice guy...who likes Patron...alot of it...and likes to send you jewelry when he's working out of town...and buy carpet for you just because you mentioned it...brings a plant on your first date because he knows you love them...but very emotional...and has a past...and your friends warn you to stay away.
Guy 2-Basically, he's a friend of a friend that you expect to be a friend...and you are. He is not attractive to you but he is attracted to YOU and his eyes frankly just freak you out. Dinner, drinks, we get pulled over because he doesn't put on his seat belt after pulling out of a McDonald's for a Diet Coke...and one strong drink later (that he hardly drank), you witness the cops giving him a sobriety test and asking who I am...does it matter? Whehhhhh! Last time for that!
Guy 3-This guy I thought was perfect...as a friend...he was going to be my buddy...hyper on our first time to meet...talks alot...looks like Weird Al...drinks margaritas...he's funny...he has no motivation...no drive...doesn't pay his taxes...self-employed as a painter....just one of those "settler" type guys...he just settles in life. Has crazy ex...single dad raising two kids...this was great...until he wanted to make something of us. Still, I like to keep in touch but not in a touchy feely way. How are you? Relationship? No. Kiss? No.
Guy 4-Guy on Crutches. This guy wanted to meet badly...a [blocked site] guy...anyways...the first time I gave him my # and I didn't get the phone, he started messaging me rude comments. Should have known then. I gave him a second chance. Met him for a drink...while he was on crutches. Not for me. Bigger guy...okay conversation. He was all let's meet again...me...no further contact.
Guy 5-Another guy I thought we might have a chance...maybe more than a friend. Single dad...decent townhome...we barbecue couple of times...go to breakfast once...if it weren't for his fixation on having sex, MAYBE something could have happened. Oh, and that time we went out to dinner (the only time) and he was more intrigued by the waitresses butt than by our conversation.
Guy 6-Attractive...I was really attracted to him...Great hair, great eyes, nice build. He claims to make good money but his fixation seems to be on being broke and keeping our dates to a minimum. Our first date was at the mall....we walked the mall...and ate at Luby's. That was okay...unusual but okay. The next date to Kemah...I suggest appetizers only since we did also have lunch together that day. He doesn't like much seafood...I finally get him to agree to crab cakes...I had never tried them there. We receive three TINY crab cakes...he doesn't offer to get us more food. My boss shows up and pays for most of our drinks. He is floored that he bill is thirty something...then, says he could have ate for $20 @ El Chico. Here's your sign.
Guy 7-I met one guy at his townhome for a glass of wine. Nice conversation...he's fit...Place is clean...a little too clean if you know what I mean...guys that are more organized and like to shop more than me scare me.
Guy 8-Went to play pool with this guy. He was incredibly cute and built...I was excited! Lured him in with careful flirting. It didn't go beyond three games of pool...I was tired...he was tired...I knew I was not up to his dating standard...the guy had perfect teeth, perfect clothes...he has to know more about fashion than I do and works out obsessively. Turn off: I have three kids...he has one kid, five years old. He claims the mother "tricked" him...that she was not supposed to be able to get pregnant. Says he never wanted kids...SINKER
Guy 9-Met him for drinks at a nice sports bar. My girlfriend (crazy one) wanted to tag along. He wanted me to come back there that night (on a work night)...meet him somewhere...self-employed, nice car...weird cyst thing on one eye...nice as can be...but what? I am not driving back TO YOU...ON A WORK NIGHT!
Guy 10-This guy was really sweet plus had the bad boy past. He's an artist...a graphic designer...cute...and why do I feel like Alice in Wonderland? Can we stretch him????He's like 5'6" and I am 5'8" and that night, I wore heels....We keep in touch but I don't think I could be taller than my man!????
I have to leave the next one out...he's on this site.
Oh, wait...there's another...my crazy friend hooks me up with Guy 12-I THOUGHT he was cute until he showed up for our date...in like 70s attire...a black vest with a royal blue pressed shirt and slacks...and grease or dirt under all his nails...for sushi...and he proceeded to tell me he was a world traveler and that he had three college degrees but prefers to be a plumber and make an "honest living." What a crock! I couldn't hardly stand conversing with him...I can't stand phony people. I can handle the truth...not complete BS! Then, he somehow convinces me to have one drink....where he proceeds to tell me his father was a key participant in the Italian Maffia...that part I tended to believe. I couldn't even drink my drink and retired the date at 10 oclock citing it was a work night!
I think that about covers my past few years of dating. I was really in love with one guy who broke my heart many lightoons ago....So, that's it...that's my story...anyone have a good one to tell????
| | 4/12/2008 3:04:26 PM | My Dating Effort...Entertainment... | | 
irresistiblered
Aurora, CO
age: 43
| chrislyn...LOVED your story...sounds about like mine and anyone I know. I am not going to be as descriptive as you, but I am going to tell you about this one, which for whatever reason, has been on my mind lately...If nothing lese, it will make an entertaining story:
Once upon a time...about 12 or so year ago, I was flying to Houston for a meeting, from Atlanta, where I used to live. They trip was not even an over-nite trip...leaving at 6 am, coming back at 9 pm. Flight back was from Houston International.
Everything went fine, until at the gate, 5 minutes before the flight, they announced that flight is cancelled. No rhyme or reason...just cancelled. Worst, the airport is closing in 5 minutes...I mean like the doors are closing, no one can go out or in, at all.
People make a Bee-line for the doors and some get out. A group of about 20 of us get stock behind the doors. For those of you who haven't seen that airport, its a tiny little thing. Nothing compared to Hobby...every restaurant, I mean all of the BOTH of them are closed...nothing to eat, nowhere to rest...a disaster.
Now...I'm Hypoglycemic and got to eat every two hours. So...thats my concern...running around, figuring out if somehow I can get something with sugar and protein into my tummy.
Almost in tears, I am pleading and begging with the only airline authority figure present, and I feel a touch on my shoulder: "Excuse me..." I turn around, and here standing in front of me, ....is one of the God's most beautiful creation of a male... All in his 6'4" glory...an athlete's body...dark, olive skin... eyes, the color of the pure antique gold...cute little mustash...wide, strong jaws, sign of a man who says little and is always heard....in a brown designer suite which must cost about $$$$ and smile that would melt any girl's heart, to reveal perfect white set of teeth.
 
I am standing there, speachless and mesmerized, and ....I don't know if it was the suger thing or the sight of him, but I literally start seeing starts, and the world goes black into nothingness...
I woke up in his arms...carrying me to one of the adjucent gates, which had a few chairs. He say: "You need to not worry. Food is on the way, and we're leaving in about 3 hours."
I mumble, "...how?".
he says that he bribed one of the security guards which was getting off work to go and pick up some food from a nearby restaurants, and charted a plane that would take us back to atlanta....that is, if i would have dinner with him and take a ride.
And I must say, I have never accepted a plane ride, before...but under those circumstances, that was more than acceptable.
So we made a picnic on the floor of the terminal, where he placed his jacket under my head and made me lay down, until food arrived...and not just any food...no burger and fast food on that man's list. We had steak and shrimp and grilled lobster and a few pieces of Ahi Tuna...and cake, and pastry.
He insisted on feeding me everything, and cut the steak and didn't touch his food, until I was fed...and we talked and laughed and giggled for every minute of the 3 hours.
I found out that he is 10 years and 10 days older than me, we share the same sign, and worked in the same industry. I am an architect and he was an engineer. He is half middleeastern, and half British, which is very similar to my genetic background, except I enjoy a French mom. We lived, both in Atlanta and were about 5 minutes apart.
We found out that we share the same ideas about dating and marriage, which at the time, for me, was: Dating, Yes...Marriage, No NO...
To make the long story, short...we made it back to Atlanta and continued on a friendship that lasted for almost 2 years. We never dated, but saw eachother 3 or 4 times a week, would go to all the work functions together, and took many trips around the country. Meanwhile, we had this agreement that we both were free in our love-lives, so we dated other people, and told eachother everything.
We also never slept together, until two years later. In one trip for a conference that he was receiving an award for something, therefore he had to have someone with him, and i was his someone, we celebrated the night in my room and well...
Afterward, everything was changed. You see, we had the sexual pull from the begining...the night at the airport. But the kind of people who we were at the time, that kind of intimacy would have brought on complications.
Afterward, nothing was the same. We wanted eachother with a hunger that was not going away...then it bacame important where the other one was, or whom he was with, or i was with.
Soooo one day he comes in to my office, shuts the door and says...you either have to marry me or quit haunting me.
I reminded him that at that time of my life, i absoloutley have no possibility of marrying anyone. I had 4 little boys and a very demanding job, and I never thought it was fair to bring a man in the midst...especially someone I was connected to THAT much....especially, not him.
He just looked at me for what seemed to be hours, then turned around, and left.
And so it ended the hottest, steamiest, date of MY LIFE.
| | 4/12/2008 6:38:37 PM | My Dating Effort...Entertainment... | | 
books65
Plainfield, NJ
age: 43
| OMG! That's a romance novel if I ever heard one!
| | 4/13/2008 10:46:27 AM | My Dating Effort...Entertainment... | |
chrislyn
La Porte, TX
age: 34
| OMG! That is a completely awesome story...are you kicking yourself for not marrying him????
I think I need to start flying! (I have never flown)
I agree, that is either a great novel or a Hollywood romance movie! It is hard to get any man to treat you that good...especially when they don't even know you. He seems like he was truly a good person. After the sexual encounter, that would have been it for me...sealed the deal. But, that's me.
| | 4/13/2008 1:46:14 PM | My Dating Effort...Entertainment... | |
irresistiblered
Aurora, CO
age: 43
|
he was NOT unlike many men out there...the "NOBLITY" in male species, is as pre-engineered as the sense of PROTECTION...SURVIVAL...and FAMILY.
The men we encounter in our daily dating life, have the same genetic makeup, but how they react on it, shows how evolve they are.
This one was a bit more evolved than the others, I should say.
Why we did not marry and have 4 more kids? The timing, circumstances, the one who got away...so on...so forth.
A few weeks afterward, I moved out of Atlanta, took a long term project of 2 years, went to Florida and never dated another soul, until I came to Colorado, 10 years later...Afterall, who would have measured up?
A few weeks after I was here, a PI contacted me, because he hired him to find me...we talked on the phone for hours. He had decided to marry a girl that he knew and I knew for years, and she was mad about him....He wanted to know if I would approve.
At that time, I was ready for a commited relationship, be it a marriage...especially with him?...oh YES.
But then...sighhh...my own NOBILITY kicked in. I knew one signal, one word of encouragement and there MIGHT have been a chance that the wedding plans would change...so I stayed quite...wished him and his future bride wishes of love and long happy life...and said my goodbyes...the hardest thing I have ever done.
None of you would have done differently.
So...here I am again...looking...and knowing...that the world is a place of abundance, and there are men who would romance and cherish a woman.
You just have to have faith, trust in universe, and in yourself...and also knowing that every romance and love affair is as unique as the man himself. They say "I love you's in different way, and different language...you just have to want to hear, understand, and speak THAT language, and the rest is history.
| | 4/13/2008 3:36:14 PM | My Dating Effort...Entertainment... | | 
joyschoice
North York, ON
age: 54
| Dear Crisly,
Your story was captivating and very educational for me. I am 54 but never went on even one date with a woman like you. Okay, maybe seven comparable dates in 30 years, and like in your experience, my dates never panned out either.
If you don't mind, I'll look at your profile, maybe you say something what kind of guy you'd like to date. The ones you met and described in your post were obviously substandard quality, made from a 100% unknown fibres. (My room-mate in college kept buying sox that had that disclaimer on the packaging.)
If you need advice -- men feel compelled to give it -- stay away from bars; instead, I would suggest auditing some philosophy courses at the local university (it's free to audit -- you don't get marks or credits, but you are allowed to check out the guys), or go to the library's creative writing courses or scream until all windows are broken on the street, but this bar-thing is too much, from the looks of it.
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