Forums: Dating General Discussion: Step it up - then steppin' out
4/13/2008 6:49:24 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

luvzhugz12
Richardson, TX
age: 42

OK, I'm confused about human behavior sometimes and this is definitely one of those times. There is a man I have been casually (very casually) been dating about four months. We see each other once or twice a month for a movie or coffee, and really I didn't see this going anywhere. I knew we were both on dating sites and felt comfortable with that. Well, last week we went out for coffe and talked for a couple of hours and he said he would like to step up the relationship, see each other more often, get to know each other better, etc.

Well, the next day, I happen to do a search on his user name from our original site we met at (thanks to DHU folks telling me about this) and lo and behold he has just started a new account at another site WTF!!!!

Can anyone offer any insight into this kind of behavior. I was perfectly fine with us being casual and I was perfectly find with keeping it that way or going our separate ways. But he asks me to consider stepping it up and then starts a new profile somewhere else? Why bother?

4/13/2008 6:53:34 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

muffycakes
Chanhassen, MN
age: 26

Maybe ask him if he would be willing to cancel his online memberships and then you can step up the relationship...if he does not comply with your demand or if he states that he will cancel but keeps his membership and lies to you then throw him away.

4/13/2008 6:55:58 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46

Cyber playa, lol, sounds like he wants his cake and too eat it too, along with a few extra cup cakes on the side?

4/13/2008 7:01:47 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

milkyway282
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 36

muffy,,... your 26 what the heck do you know?????

4/13/2008 7:03:12 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

luvzhugz12
Richardson, TX
age: 42

We were already friends, and I knew he was on other sites, so why try to take it further when not serious?

4/13/2008 7:05:50 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

lexingtonbob65
Spartanburg, SC
age: 43

Well i believe that this man is using the dating sites like going shopping for a bargin,It seems to me that he wants to find that sale item before he buys so to speak. If he is remotely intrested in you at all why go under a differnt name I believe that a person should be open and honest with one another from day one, yes i believe he is playing the field. Maybe you should bench him,seems to me to be very open and honest with you. He is looking for more than just a casual relationship,maybe sex i'm not sure but be carful.

4/13/2008 7:27:29 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

redneckhippy
Pottsboro, TX
age: 40

Some people are addicted to the forums online,
and some people really are assholes.

Do any of the profiles mention a relationship?
Or at least mention a "not looking" status?

4/13/2008 7:30:25 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

cinnamongirl65
St Catharines, ON
age: 42

Sounds like trouble to me even if it was casual...he's not being honest so red flag him!

4/13/2008 7:32:13 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57

PLAYER

4/13/2008 7:35:29 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

joyschoice
North York, ON
age: 54

"We were already friends, and I knew he was on other sites, so why try to take it further when not serious?"

I think your woes with him and vice versa stem from giving different definitions to "serious".

Seriously, "sincere" is a more serious word than "serious".

Sincerely, Andrew (Just teasing. I ain't serious, never have been.)

4/13/2008 7:48:44 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

luvzhugz12
Richardson, TX
age: 42

Thanks for replying all. Just find this irritating and hate that kind of behavior - already had hesitations about him (why we were casual 4 months I guess, lol).

I believe the majority is saying red flag and player so I believe majority shall rule.

4/13/2008 11:01:25 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

jodyjeff
Edmond, OK
age: 65

Hon, when a man says one thing to you and then tries hiding in bushes with someone else.... My thoughts are this. If a man proves he isn't honest, this proves he isn't going to be honest in a relationship with you. And if he isn't going to be honest in the beginning, this says loudly and clearly that he is not interested in you. You can take this to the bank, if he lies now then you can bet every time his lips move that you need to check out every word he says. Who needs him or wants him... This guy smells like a dead skunk. When I saw they have over 200,000 people on line in this chat group, I pray that they are all not like this guy. I would rather be lonely, alone, than to be with a man who has already proved he is cheat, a liar and smells like a skunk.

Sorry, I have never been accused of keeping my opinions bottled up. I think I am very fair to people, but Hon there are too many nice guys out there to settle for a poop head.

Good Luck
Jody

4/13/2008 11:10:57 PMStep it up - then steppin' out 

ladyvirtue52
Redding, CA
age: 52

He may be keeping his options open for the time being. I think you should tell him that you found that profile and ask him what's up..I personally dont think there is anything wrong with flirting online after all, most of us live states away from one another, so what can happen? But, if it bothers you, and apparently it does, then you do need to confront him..good luck sweetie..