Forums: General Discussion: Im Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM.
4/14/2008 4:58:22 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

luvinlifetou
Biddeford, ME
age: 41

This is a serious subject..and mostly...I like to laugh, play, joke around and have fun here on DH.
But...it has come to my attention that I am not the only mom, (or dad, Im sure)...dealing with an autistic child.
I would love to start a thread where we can support each other...
My ten year old was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome two years ago. I knew from the start something was really different about him.
I guess....I would like to know...if anybody else is dealing with this...
Its so painful to find out your perfect beautiful child isnt perfect after all...
It can be heartbreaking dealing with life on a day to day basis...
But...I also think that the best resources we can find..are other friends, male or female...who are facing these same challenges.
To Serious?
Sorry...if you want to private email...I would so appreciate that also....
I have learned so much...
and my handsome son deserves that I put myself out there...in the hopes that ONE person might know something I dont...might give me an answer or clue that I havent thought of.
My son is an incredibly handsome, intelligent child who is dealing with challenges that we cant even begin to understand...and..if anyone else knows what I mean? I would love to talk to you.


On that note...Im not sad...Im determined..and anything and anyone who has advice..I would love to hear from you.

This...is a disability...and I will not tolerate any bashing or bull...I dont like to block...but I will if you make fun or jokes about this one.
LOVE to all my friends...
Strength and courage to all dealing with this....

Luvin

4/14/2008 5:20:43 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

jonmjk6
Frankenmuth, MI
age: 36

I am not the parent of an autistic child, but I do have a cousin, Steve, who has an autistic son named Adam. We are close, and I was able to spend a lot of time with them until they moved to the Upper Penninsula of Michigan. I do not pretend to know the everyday life of a family with an autistic child, but I can speak from a close friend/relatives perspective.

1)He's not beautiful, boys don't like to be called beautiful,

He's handsome!!



2) He IS perfect.

3)As for the heartbreaking parts of life, remember there WILL be victories, and joyous moments.

Before Steve and his family moved north, I bought Adam a book on dinosaurs. He LOVES dinosaurs. Well, the book I bought was well beyond his age range. It was actually a book that classified the animals by genus, species, and phylum. Giving all sorts of information on habitat, diet, even info on breeding habits. More of a book that a highschool student would use to research a school project. However, I bought it anyway because it had the most beautifully illustrated, full-page pics of dinosaurs. I knew he would love it. What I did not know is that he, although autistic, and only 9 at the time, has memory retention skills at an incredible level. Two days later, the day before they left his mother called me and asked me to come over. I did. What she showed me was nothing short of PERFECT, and AMAZING. Adam could, given the name of any dino in the book, (the scientific Latin name, or the English name), repeat almost verbatim, everthing about that animal. Over 100 different animals in the book, and he knew each and every one. He has grow now, he's 16 or 17. He has had his struggles, and still does. However he's had his shining moments. Filling his parents with pride and wonder.

Your son will give you, and probably already has given you, those moments, and much, much, much more.

4/14/2008 5:57:14 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

moon_beam_woman
Bellingham, WA
age: 41

He is a beautifully handsome boy.I only know about autism from what i have seen on lifetime on tv which is a channel that is very infomative,I love ya and i am here for you always my friends.love karmen

4/14/2008 6:34:13 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

luvinlifetou
Biddeford, ME
age: 41

Did you know Bill Gates has autism?
And they perhaps Einstein?
They are so incredibly smart..
Tooooo smart when you are dealing with a kid...
when your kid can outsmart ya on a daily basis....
LOL...
makes life tougher...
Thats my boy...
He can spend hours building complex leggo machinery...
But I will be damned if he can remember to throw his clothes in the hamper..
Whoops...wait...
Thats ALL kids!
LOL

4/14/2008 6:34:55 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45

Most everyone who knows me knows that my youngest son, is autistic. He was diagnosed at age 2 with Pervasive Developmental Disorder - a form of autism. We were fortunate at the young diagnosis and my education background helped a great deal. He began attending school at age 2 1/2...

Living with an autistic child has not been easy, but raising him in our hometown definitely made my life as a single parent of a disabled child easier.

He is very high functioning.
He participated fully in sports and music in high school - was a gifted performer and competed at State Level in Speech and Dramatic Speaking.

He drives.
He now is in a work training program to learn how to be an employee and he hoped to become engaged this year to his high school sweetheart - who also is autistic. Her parents could not cope with raising an autistic child and abandoned her. She is a ward of the state and so I am trying to teach both children how to be adults and to care for a home and each other.

While having this child has always been a challenge it has NEVER CEASED being my greatest joy. Thomas changes every world he touches with his smile. his voice - he is a gifted vocalist and musician...

But the easiest of times was when he was younger and did not understand he was limited, different from everyone else.

Now - as he matures - he wants to be a man.
He wants a career.
He wants to marry.
They would like to have children...which of course they will never do. The pain of telling your child he cannot have a child is - beyond any pain I think I have ever physically felt.

To watch the knowledge fill his eyes that he can't be - normal.
I know he dreams of it,
For awhile when he was little I dreamt of it too.... and would wake up realizing that day wasn't going to happen.

Each day of life with Tom has been a blessing so sweet and so meaningful. I would never have missed any moment.

But we continue to have moments of great lessons that are so incredibly hard...

I came home from work to discover he had wanted to make dinner and so all the burners were on - on the stove - on high...with no pans on them...no food cooking.

He loads the dirty dishes into the oven.
The clean dishes out of the dishwasher I occasionally find in the oddest places...

There are no medications or drugs which can aid or cure autism.
There are only coping skills and learningyourself how best to help your child mature in how they are comfortable. And sadly so little is known about the variety of autisms that many specialists cannot help a great deal with suggestions or approaches either.

So we learn - as parents what works for us, and for our child.

And hopefully in 2010 - my son will marry his sweetheart...and all will be well.
Or semi-close to it.

Luvin - love you and thanks my dearest friend - isn't it so funny the things in life that bind us - that we do not even know...?

Only a few tears were shed to create this post.
JMO and my life.


4/14/2008 6:50:08 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

missyroo375
Suffern, NY
age: 21

Hey darlin..Im not a mom..but I know this kinda thing is very hard for the parents..
I've taken care of two special needs children with AUTISM...and I've seen how hard it can be...if someone ask me to do it again I would...you have a beautiful son.
And I know he has a wonderful mother
love ya...hugs!!!

4/14/2008 6:52:29 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

onelife2live
Janesville, WI
age: 43

How about a Group for Autism Luvin...it is way more prevalent than people think...my hats off to you...ask Dustin...jmo

4/14/2008 8:10:30 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

juniebegood
Huntington, NY
age: 54

My heart goes out to you, and all parents of mentally challeged children. My bestfriend's son has Asperger's Syndrome too. I've known him since he was 5 years old. He's now 30 yrs. old, holds a job and is enjoying his life. He goes on a yearly cruise with my girlfriend, and has a ball.

I won't lie, life was not always easy for them, but they got through the tough times, and are a very close knit family. She even met a terrific guy and married him. (She was a young widow.) The guy she married accepted her son, and they've now been married for 15 years.

You are your son's best advocate, and at this point in his life, are the one who stands between him and the rest of the world. My suggestion to you, would be to start a grass roots support group in your local area. You'd be surprised at how many people are in your boat, or know someone who is. I bet there are many people who would jump on board, and welcome the support of others dealing with the same thing.

Kudos to you and all the parents out there who are dealing with disabled children in their families. You work tirelessly and your love for your children is boundless. You all deserve high praise. Best of luck to you.

God Bless!

4/14/2008 9:46:54 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

luvinlifetou
Biddeford, ME
age: 41

Gone, Missy, Onelife and Junie...
Thank you for the words of support.
Gone...oh honey....
words cannot say where my heart goes as I read your words....there just are not words to express the challenges and pain you face when trying to teach your autistic child to face the world...
Zathras,..you goober...I want statistics and proof about the allegations about the geniuses!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(OH hell people...I just doomed us all to pages of PROOF!!!LOL)
Thanks for the support guys.
Love

Luvin

Karmen my love...how am I going to get used to Moon Beam?!?!?
LOL...thanks for the love...as usual...

Luvin



[Edited 4/14/2008 9:49:21 PM]

4/14/2008 10:24:49 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

ladynwaiting_47
Philadelphia, PA
age: 48

Luvin,

Your son is beautiful! My best friend has a daughter that has Asperger's syndrome and I met here when she was in 1st grade with my youngest son 10 years ago. She and I have always shared a wonderful bond that has lasted over moves and absences because I loved her for who she is and have never felt sorry for her from the first day.
I have two sons with ADD and one that has a few other mental challenges but each is a whole person with their own unique personalities. It is often a surprise to many just how intelligent someone with any type of disorder can be. Both of my sons read at a college level by jr. high and have no problem exploring anything that is of interest to them.
But all three of them have a problem fitting into the "acceptable norms of peer interaction." They can not engage most people on the level that makes them comfortable. Sadly, the "norm" are not introduced to broad ways in which to view others. Limiting what is 'acceptable' in their perception. You can easily see that here in these forums when you read all the things that throw a kink into the way someone feels another person should behave or rules they should be following.
If people could be taught to look at the intent behind an action rather than just the action done, tolerence would become a much more prized attribute in our society than it is now. What would our world be without the diversity that is exhibited in all aspects of life? That is where the true beauty lies in our world.
Seeing the world through your son's eyes will give you a more complete view of the world than most will ever have. Cherish all the things that your son can do and encourage him in the things that are a challenge for him.

Lady

4/14/2008 10:29:41 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47

luvinlifetou, you son is beautiful.

What is perfection to one person is not perfection to another person. Life is full of challenges and we are only given what God feels we can handle.

I found these sites. I hope it helps

http://www.asmonline.org/support_groups.asp
http://www.abilitymaine.org/resource/guides/autism.html
http://usm.maine.edu/~bives/pages/links.html



4/14/2008 10:51:36 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 48

Luvin-After seeing Jenny McCarthy on Oprah talking about her son, I went and checked her book out of the local library-Louder Than Words-if you haven't read it I would suggest you do, her son was helped by changing his diet and she believes his troubles were caused by immunizations.
She said something on the show that has stuck out in my mind-She doesn't say her son has autism, She says he is autistic-he has it, it doesn't have him. Good luck. Karen

4/15/2008 2:29:52 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

luvinlifetou
Biddeford, ME
age: 41

Thanks Karen...
That is a very good point...and I like it.
My son has autism...it is not HIM...it does not define him..
He is smart, funny, lovable and a wonderful child.

If he was had diabetes I would not define him by that disorder...
Thanks honey.

Chopper...nice links..
Good info there.


lOVE YA

Luvin

4/15/2008 2:37:06 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 46

i dont see any problems with your son,,,other than he is a nice looking boy

4/15/2008 2:40:38 PMIm Looking for Support...From other MOMS dealing with AUTISM. 

abeenorml
New Underwood, SD
age: 43

Oh man, look at those eyes! He is beautiful. Don't ya just melt from those big brown eyes? (my son has brown eyes too) I already emailed you about my past with my boy, but I am here to support you anyway. Kim


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