Forums: Dating General Discussion: Is honesty BAD?
4/17/2008 2:30:29 AMIs honesty BAD? 

michael6967275
Columbia, MO
age: 46

In a former thread I asked people to relate "the most honest thing they had ever said to a date".
I didn't think about this before hand, but I did notice that after reading a lot of them, 99% were NOT something I would want said to me.
So the question to concider is, after reading them, why do we relate honest with negative?

I was thinking that I'd hear more stories that were closer to my own and wondered how common an exchange like that was. Just something to think about while we all say we want honesty.

4/17/2008 2:59:37 AMIs honesty BAD? 

collegekidunot
Winnsboro, LA
age: 48

Well, they say Honesty IS the Best Policy. But to the extreme, it can hurt/sting/kill a relationship pretty quick! BTW, does these jeans make my butt look fat?

4/17/2008 3:10:45 AMIs honesty BAD? 

daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54

The best thing about honesty is you don't have to remember the lies you tell. and if she ask if those pants make her butt look big say no, then don't let her hear you thinking it ain't the pants

4/17/2008 4:18:39 AMIs honesty BAD? 

bobbiemgee
Conway, SC
age: 42

I am all about being honest!!My biggest peeve is being lied to,to me just disrespect.
My friends know,as my family I wont lie. The truth always comes out sometime, and then its just worse then what you lied to cover up.
Perhaps im to honest,and ive suffered some for it.Not saying why,but I wish I had a few years ago in court,and still ask myself..
I dont just judge honesty by being negative,ONLY way to be for me.

And as a women,if I ask if I look fat in something...and I do..TELL ME!! Im asking cause ill change.Anyone asks such things,and gets Mad all I got say to them.

4/17/2008 4:50:29 AMIs honesty BAD? 

barbara1
Reston, VA
age: 51

No, and more people should try it!

4/17/2008 4:52:24 AMIs honesty BAD? 

collegekidunot
Winnsboro, LA
age: 48

b4 i went in to have my first operation my Daddy asked me if i did/done anything wrong. i said "why?" he said:"when they give you that twilight shot everything is gonna spill out!" guess i didn't spill the beans, if i did he kept it to himself. I MISS YOU DADDY!

4/17/2008 4:53:05 AMIs honesty BAD? 

debi01
Pasco, WA
age: 50

Honesty is the best policy, like those before me have said.

I would like someone who is completely honest about things. If I ask then tellme, cause

if you ask I am gonna tell you.

I have never asked "does my butt look to big in theses jeans", cause I check em out

before I buy em no need to ask!!!!

Besides there maybe more important questions to be asked

4/17/2008 8:17:58 AMIs honesty BAD? 

wolfi
Albuquerque, NM
age: 43

Honesty makes for many very lonely years.
Lies sell.
'Nuff said.

4/17/2008 8:30:36 AMIs honesty BAD? 

sitkarains
Sitka, AK
age: 48

I believe in honesty, I also believe in tact. I always try to temper my cutting honesty with a bit of sugar so to speak...

To me there is no need to hurt someone by telling them the truth.

4/17/2008 8:33:23 AMIs honesty BAD? 

ptriley
Staten Island, NY
age: 47

Without honesty can't see the relationship lasting very longJMO

4/17/2008 9:21:56 AMIs honesty BAD? 

freebirdvt
Milton, VT
age: 51

well I would rather hear the truth.....even if I dont want to hear it...the truth

4/17/2008 4:52:11 PMIs honesty BAD? 

barbara1
Reston, VA
age: 51

No, it is REQUIRED!

4/17/2008 5:06:44 PMIs honesty BAD? 

emeraldjewel
South Park, PA
age: 53

Honesty next to godlyness

4/17/2008 6:57:46 PMIs honesty BAD? 

dottyparker
Knoxville, TN
age: 46

Honesty is neither good nor bad, merely necessary. The only way to succeed in a long term relationship is with complete honesty--and that means you must find someone with whom you can be honest, who you trust to take the truth, even when it means saying something about yourself or about the other or about the relationship that could cause dissension. The only person we can love (if love includes trust, loyalty, and friendship, which I think it does) is the person to whom we can speak honestly, which means someone who isn't jealous, who does love us with our scars, and whose mind and emotions we trust. We lie to most of the world every day--usually through omission rather than active lying (it's none of the world's business--so it isn't said), but in a real relationship that isn't either an option nor right. That honesty is what binds, finally, I think. If one is in a relationship where one must elide over details, over perceptions, over what hurts, then it isn't a functional relationship. Or that's what I think.

And to stay on post--we relate honesty with negativity because the things that we think about as "being honest" or the moments we recall when we "were honest" were intense moments that frequently caused pain. In the day to day, we are usually honest, because it's easy. It's when it's tough, that a lie seems easy, that we have to choose whether to be honest, and that's when the choice becomes apparent. Obviously, JMO.



[Edited 4/17/2008 6:58:48 PM]

4/17/2008 7:46:56 PMIs honesty BAD? 

honestinlov4u
Abington, PA
age: 59

I believe in total honesty thus my screen name. I will admit that at times it is hard as I don't want to hurt someones feelings, but I also do not want to lie. It has cost me a possible relationship or two though as some people can't handle it.