| 4/19/2008 6:52:49 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
skylark2627
Eldridge, IA
age: 28
| So, what is the best way to let someone know the relationship is not going to work....??? 
Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter
Dear (____rejectee's name here____ ),
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mr. Right.
As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of Your Own beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with your parents, and attending night classes to get your High School diploma, are slight negatives.
___ You mention your ex-wife's name more than you mention mine.
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| 4/19/2008 6:57:53 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
southbuster
Haughton, LA
age: 31
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| 4/19/2008 7:00:28 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
skylark2627
Eldridge, IA
age: 28
| Southbuster...that's funny. You're crackin me up! 
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| 4/19/2008 7:01:53 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
uprooted
Fairport, NY
age: 43
| skylark, that has got to be the funniest thing on DH that I
have read yet. Damn near pissed myself laughing, especially the part
about the condoms; reminds me a somebody I used to hang with a time ago.
I need the laughs keep it coming.
is there one for the Mrs. right category?
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| 4/19/2008 7:06:55 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
uprooted
Fairport, NY
age: 43
|
STOP!STOP! you guys are killin' me ...
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| 4/19/2008 7:10:22 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
catchureye
Flat Rock, NC
age: 32
| Loving it!! 
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| 4/19/2008 7:24:34 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
mrwally2007
Fort Smith, AR
age: 45
| Brutal, pure unadulterated viciousness.
But damn funny!
- Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
That's the one I like. 
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| 4/19/2008 7:26:30 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
skylark2627
Eldridge, IA
age: 28
| Here you go...this is the best I could do in a few minutes.....
Ms. Right Rejection Form Letter
Dear (____rejectee's name here____ ),
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Ms. Right.
As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ When I said "show me your tits" you lifted your skirt up.
___ They say women grow up to look like their mother...I just saw your mother.
___ Everytime you open your mouth, it sounds like the grownups talking on the Peanuts cartoons....blah..blah...blah.
___ Everytime we have sex an unpleasant fishy smell permeates the room and makes me feel light headed and want to pass out (and you thought it was because the sex was good..ha!)
___ You spend more time in the bathroom getting ready than you spend at your job.
___ Ever since we started dating, you've turned into a shriveled up prude whose legs are glued together tighter than a man's ass in prison.
___ Your legs are bigger than mine. If you can't FIT into my pants, then I don't want to get into your pants.
___ You look like you are nine months pregnant and to my knowledge you aren't (you aren't, right?)
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to cook an edible meal extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Daddy" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You try to bring up deep, meaningful conversations while I am trying to watch football, basketball, nascar, golf, soccer, baseball, wrestling, etc. Basically, if there is a sport on TV, don't talk to me.
___ You mention your ex-husband's name more than you mention mine.
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| 4/19/2008 7:43:57 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
drumrman
Belmont, MA
age: 43 online now!
| south, fn hilarious!
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| 4/19/2008 8:24:44 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
lars38
Silvis, IL
age: 39
| Thats great Sky I think Ill check all the lines and send it to my ex.
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| 4/19/2008 8:26:22 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
harley9482
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 25
| best way to let someone know the relationship isn't functional, is to be direct. Don't be rude or nasty, unless they are undeniably rude to you, just be simple and direct.
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| 4/19/2008 9:11:34 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
skylark2627
Eldridge, IA
age: 28
| Any one have more rejection lines I can add to my Mr. and Mrs. right rejection forms?
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| 4/19/2008 9:20:15 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
uprooted
Fairport, NY
age: 43
| It could end with .... If you are dissatisfied with the results of this form
you may file your complaint with the Bureau of Rejection
at your nearest drinking establishment.
 
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| 4/19/2008 9:23:42 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
cherry6000
Anaheim, CA
age: 46
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| 4/19/2008 9:28:09 PM | Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter | |
skylark2627
Eldridge, IA
age: 28
| Uprooted...that is now annexed into the official form. You will get some of the royalties when I publish it.
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