| 4/21/2008 3:11:58 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
cece123
Madison Heights, MI
age: 48
| I often wondered if men and women view love and intimacy the same way.. Do men fall in love as strongly as women.. Do they think of the one they love when they are not together. Do they desire the same things.. like compassion, intimacy, closeness, happiness. Only a question...
|
| 4/21/2008 5:54:14 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
mrsmiles4444
Culpeper, VA
age: 52
| yes, and I only speak for myself here. I do think of all those things that a woman thinks of. I do think of her everyday, and enjoy our passion, intimacy, kindness, and just plain old fun times we share together.
|
| 4/21/2008 5:55:04 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 49
| No
|
| 4/21/2008 6:00:57 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
awinnerof2
Olympia, WA
age: 35
| I think I would have to agree. I do think a man does.
I know I have been talking to some guy's and they say about the same thing as I would if we where together. The love, kindness, respect, honesty is what we talk about. So yes I do think we think alot alike.
|
| 4/21/2008 6:05:37 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
acokel75
Chillicothe, IL
age: 32
| I believe they do have the same feelings...Its just that they express them in a different way that what we do. Us ladies tend to express love through words and actions where most guys tend to just show by actions and no words....JMO
|
| 4/21/2008 6:10:41 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
icedsnow63
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 44
| I don't believe men and women think the same...women tend to nurture and speak of feelings where I think that men mostly think of showing feeling by actions in the bedroom...most men I don't believe think of love as anything more than an act not as an emotion as women think
|
| 4/21/2008 6:13:54 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
grobs
New Braunfels, TX
age: 38
| acoke is right 
|
| 4/21/2008 10:02:34 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
curious70000
Wyandotte, MI
age: 46
| I really think when men truly love, they love even deeper and stronger than a woman, i know there was a study that also said men have a much harder time with break ups then women do, if they are the ones that were scorned that is.
|
| 4/21/2008 10:38:49 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
fryyyy
North Kingstown, RI
age: 49
| I think that men are as diverse in their wants desires and needs as women are. I think we're all individuals. I'm not sure you can lump this into men vs women. I think there might be some differences based purely on genetics, evolution. I think there are probably some differences that are based purely on culture. But i think these differences are pretty minor. I think it's hard to define what i would want. But i think i would want the same things any other person would want. regardless of what sex they were. Sometimes i read what people say they want, and it's like reading a book. every feature they list makes me think that there is a story behind their choices. People who stress trust seem to have been exposed to a lie, etc..
When my divorce was still fresh i came face to face with the thought that women are the enemy? It's us vs them? .. well i thought about it. I decided that it's not us vs them.. it's not men vs women, .. it's two individuals who meet, explore each other, if they like each other this can grow in to friendship. In time it might even become more.
If people think differently about love i think it's cus of different positions in the relationship more than it's cus of the sex of each person. I think if you reversed the roles in a relationship .. you just might reverse the outlooks. Meaning it was relationship based not sex based feelings, attitudes and outlooks. I do think however that cultures that are not equal in their treatment or roles of men and women.. can create an imbalance in relationships that might tend to make more women feel one way and men the other. But again if you stood that world upside down on it's head.. and reversed the roles of men and women.. i bet the men would assume the feelings of the women.. and vice versa. Take for example saudi arabia.. where women are basically slaves and property. I'm sure that if you polled everyone in that country women and men would have different ideals on love. I think that's relationship based.. not sex based.. I think if you revolted.. put the women in charge made men slaves.. we'd start to see exactly how similar the sexes think alike.
|
| 4/21/2008 11:10:11 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
meowmix22
Columbus, OH
age: 49
| This article blew me away!!!
College Sex & Love: What Men Want
by Micah Stipech
some left out --too biiiiggg
The biological level is Sigmund Freud's level. This is the most obvious level and also where most men function. Mainly instinctual, we don't really need our brains to function here. We simply want to propagate our genes. When we operate on this level women wonder why we choose the bad girls over the nice ones. Here we are attracted to what our environment has taught us to desire. It seems that our current society has re-evolved, if you will, to functioning on this level. This level holds our strongest reinforcers. Our friends and idols pat us on the back and make us feel like men when we master this realm.
What men want at the biological level:
? We want you to look like the girl in the magazine
? We want you to act like the James Bond girl
? We want more than one of you
? We don't want responsibility or commitment
? Of course, all this leads to the pinnacle of the biological level…sex.
The second level of significance is Alfred Adler's level. Here men want prestige and security. They want a woman who gets them thumbs up from their buddies when she leaves the table to use the washroom. Here men will gamble on a dangerous investment because she brings such winks and inquisitions from those who hold the approval that really matters to them, their comrades. Men get in trouble here when they shop for a woman like they shop for a car.
On this level men want to feel like men, and nothing makes a guy feel more like a man than having the girl who all the guys are checking out come and sit on your lap.
Now I also mentioned that on this level men want security. It is here the biker dude turns into a softy, but also a place that things can get ugly. When that girl that was sitting on your lap sits on your buddies lap, this level mingles with the lower biological one. Intense emotions of fear, anger and jealousy bombard the once suave male. Basically, he moves in seconds from feelings of googly adoration to wanting to kill everyone. I know that seems harsh, but its true. Men experience these emotions very intensely, and they don't know what to do with them. Barbaric reasoning overwhelms cool wisdom and we have all seen the effects. There are also men who turn emotion inward rather than lashing out. In either case, the effects on the individual are equally as devastating.
Men want security. They desire the one they love to want only them. Believe it or not, here they just want a woman who they can trust, and a woman who thinks they stole the moon. A woman can't build a guy up enough, and there is nothing worse than a woman who makes comments that cut his ego. Basic areas of ego damaging comments are physical stature, sex, power, importance. Contrary to legend, women who are demeaning to guys aren't an attractive challenge, they are just annoying.
What men want on the significance level:
? Prestige
? Approval from the guys
? Someone they can trust
? Someone who thinks they are superman
The highest level of the "what men want" pyramid is meaning. This is the hope for the male species. From here flow those brief moments that cause one to believe that there is something more in there than a crass, egotistical, pizza eater.
In this realm men enjoy giving more than receiving. They do things because they want to, not because they are supposed to. They find meaning in experiencing and encountering someone. More than infatuation, men in this realm just want to be with you, not to get something or to keep you from going out with your friends. They are simply content to "be," and don't have to be working towards some type of goal. Here their loved one's best interests are paramount. Here Antoine Saint-Exupery's words ring true, "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
This realm is open ended, it is moving, synergy abounds. From here creativity is spurred, not isolation. Here the whole is greater than the sum. Our intellect, spirit, personality and ambition swirl and motivate us into more than just an emotional experience. Here there is no record of wrongs, no focusing on needs or fairness. In this realm a single worn out picture may sustain a sailor for months. In this realm we don't love you because your beautiful, but you are beautiful simply because we love you. This is where love songs are written, selfless acts are committed, and men become truly human. We transcend all of what we have been conscripted to be, and become what we might and ought.
What men want on the meaning level:
? To give selflessly
? Someone to serve
? Someone who shares mutual purpose
? Someone to sacrifice for
? Shared creativity, intellect, spirit, ambition
? Maturity
? Someone who loves on the same level
Does one need to have the lower levels before attaining the higher ones? No. They are continuous and work interchangable. In fact, the more one lives in the meaning level, the more the lower levels fade. This may naturally happen with age, but can be accomplished through conscious endeavor. The more a man trusts and seeks to give selflessly to a woman the less he needs her to look like a cover girl. Unfortunately this is not an easy transcension. It seems that more than ever, both biology and environment have teamed up against men. We are trained to live at the low end of the scale and women have keenly adapted to manipulate us at that same level, which makes moving beyond it even more difficult.
I realize that this paints a dreary picture of the male race. The silver lining is this; men really do desire to love at the highest level. The problem is that not enough of us realize it, nor are we challenged to find it. Our ability to love seems one of the many casualties of our current western culture.
How does a women find such a man? This is perhaps an article for the future, but in the meantime heed this advice; treat us how we ought and should be, not how we are. By this I mean, please stop training us to live off the bottom.
Micah Stipech lives in Whistler, British Columbia
|
| 4/21/2008 11:16:00 AM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54
| I think matters of the heart are as different as the individual they're are in. Many men only want a trophy on his arm or a maid at the house, or someone to take care of the kids.
Some women just want a retiremnt income and to be sure she'll be taken care of when they get old, so they don't have to work. What percentage of the population that is I don't know, but they sure find it easy to cut and run at the first sign things ain't going their way.
Some of us foolish or not feel like there is something more out there that makes life complete so we search hoping that we find that one person, sometimes we try to believe in the wrong one hoping things will change, sometimes the charade last sometimes it don't, And some hurt so badly theywouldn't see the right one if they stood in front of them.
Is it different between men and women, no just between each individual. Some put their ego ahead of everything else, selfish people who's only purpose is to feed that ego.
  JMO
[Edited 4/21/2008 11:17:33 AM]
|
| 4/21/2008 12:20:40 PM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
eightinchbend
Gadsden, AL
age: 43
| If women and men think of and express love differently, the concern would only be in knowing true love exists. Perhaps we put too much focus on actions and words. Consider a person who is paralyzed or does not have the power of speech; that person is still capable of expressing love. If he/she cannot physically, or verbally express love, you must know in your mind and heart that the love is there, together or apart, and regardless of how you both define it. Also, a person should be careful in what he/she is looking for. You can become too focused on looking for one or two signs as "proof" of love, and yet miss thousands of signs that already existed.
|
| 4/21/2008 3:37:33 PM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
oliverbrancher
Calgary, AB
age: 46
| this is going to come as a shock to some of you i suppose.
but...it is not about the gender.
i have met women like men are supposed to be (stereotypically) and i have met lots of men which would be stereotyped as female...(<..will have to reconsider this one.)
i think it has more to do with the nature. gender is more to do about going to the bathroom.
see the difference....???
[Edited 4/21/2008 4:26:10 PM]
|
| 4/21/2008 4:23:04 PM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
ariesera
Roswell, NM
age: 58
| Great topic!
I feel that some men and women can think the same way about love. Now whether or not they FEEL the same way about love is another topic, perhaps. It depends on the couple and their desires to find that pure love that we hear so much about. I have found it and never thought it existed, but it does.
Perhaps the greatest love story known to mankind can be found in the Bible. The Book of Solomon is the greatest love story ever. To hear a very beautiful rendition of this story, I would suggest buying the CD "The Greatest Love Story" by Book 22.
|
| 4/21/2008 6:11:55 PM | Do men and women think the same way about love? | |
cece123
Madison Heights, MI
age: 48
| Wow.. thanks for all your responses... Meowmix ... the article you posted blew me away too... I loath Sigmund Freud. Daddy duck described my last husband... Trophy, maid, then child care... love fades after marriage and children for some...
Physical attractiveness, height, weight, sex, facial features, dress all can have an affect on our senses and feelings... Physical appearance is a powerful determinant on how we judge others if we are willing to admit it or not.
People are also considered attractive if they are interesting, intelligent, compassionate, socialble and well adjusted.
Yet those who beautify men and women are somewhat egotistical and less sincere. And then again the more we like someone... the more we tend to modify our subjective evaluation of that person. Therefore, you may find someone attractive regardless of the opinions of others. Since it has been said "Beauty is in the eye's of the beholder," there are people in this world who will find us more attractive than others.
Physical closeness is a must.... cause the farther away a person lives or sits the less likely s/he will become our friends. THe more I see you.... The more I like you... As well... the more you get to know someone the more you like them. I emphasise the positive by minimizing the negatives we associate with daily.
Social norm implies cooperative relationships takes special efforts to get along with people we live and work with.... otherwise the life we live would just be too miserable.
There are just some people who don't know how to trust and get close to others....
When I am in love with someone.... a song... his name... something that reminds me of him.. puts a smile on my face... even when he is not around... is that odd?
|