Forums: Groups: Divorced: Should a separated person join a site like this?
4/21/2008 9:50:42 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

godpop
Howell, MI
age: 50

I have had a few folks tell me they want nothing to do with me until I am divorced.
I've made it clear that there is absolutely no reconciliation possible, and that I am in process of a divorce.
It seems most people on these sites want a long term relationship.
I saw a string that suggests that newly divorced people just are not ready for any permanent relationships, and may not be for two to three years.
Am I being unrealistic about finding a long term relationship at a site like this?

4/22/2008 5:25:46 AMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50

dont beat yourself up over it..many are married and many are in a relationship

so for me as far as my opinion goes..Why cant you be here its not like you're involved with someone..after all you're getting a divorce.

as far as when someone is ready for another relationship depends on a few important factors
1 being they are ready when they decide not when everyone else decides for them

best to you



[Edited 4/22/2008 5:29:32 AM]

4/22/2008 7:58:12 AMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

godpop
Howell, MI
age: 50

Thanks for your input Foxy.

4/22/2008 6:05:30 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

easygoin68
Crawford, NE
age: 40

Therapists say you should live single 1 year for every 3 years you were married. Personally, relationship hopping is not for me. I wouldn't think of getting into a relationship with a woman who's divorce isn't a year old.

Speaking for me only, I want security in a relationship. Someone who is going through the emotional trauma of divorce wouldn't be able to provide the security I want. I'm going on 4 years of being divorced, still happy just making friends.

4/22/2008 6:19:44 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

godpop
Howell, MI
age: 50

Thanks Easygoing68.
Those are some stats I had not heard about.
It takes that long to clear it all out of your system eh?
Appreciate the feedback.

4/23/2008 2:23:37 AMShould a separated person join a site like this? 
mrq423
Racine, WI
age: 55

Easy, I was married 30 yrs.

I need to be single 10 yrs. then.

Oh, I knew this wasn't going to be easy...(No pun intended, babe).

4/23/2008 8:57:09 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

easygoin68
Crawford, NE
age: 40

I suppose the actual amount of time one heals,depends on how honestly you've faced your issues. I was married for 11 years, and bailed into a rebound relationship after divorce. Biggest flipping mistake I've ever made! Our divorces were 22 days apart.

Our couples oriented society, far too many people think they have to have someone to be someone. I decided to validate myself, by learning to live alone. I'm quite comfortable.

When I do get into a relationship, I want them to compliment me....not validate me. Also, I will compliment them, NOT validate them! So if I meet a confident, whole woman....I'll be paying attention!

4/23/2008 9:39:39 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 
luvchair
Prattville, AL
age: 44

Life is too short. Every person should go with what they want...Not what people tell you. As long as you're not a CHILD MOLESTER..this site and others like it are fun if you want to meet friends, networking or a relationships. HAVE FUN my friend. A hundred years from now...no one will care.

4/24/2008 10:16:31 AMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

pai_guy
Wairoa
New Zealand
age: 48

The moment she walks out the door... Sign up!

There's lots of people on here looking for "just friends" too... to each their own.

It must be a U.S. thing... over here, people usually get into their next relationship before they leave the previous one.

Smile and have a good time... people will want to be with you.

4/24/2008 5:00:53 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

easygoin68
Crawford, NE
age: 40

Everyone should go with what they want....not what people tell you. I want, I want. Probably
that's whats wrong with a lot of society. They wanted a credit card, wanted a new car, a house. They don't want the responsibility that goes with all of the wants. Then they piss and moan and WANT someone else to bail them out!lol

Statistically 50% of marraiges end up in divorce. 75% of second marraiges end in divorce. Those are national stats here in the US. First one for me was to hard, to exspensive. I don't WANT to do that again.

My neighbor jumped into a relationship with a guy that wasn't divorced. Long story short...
after living with her for 3 month, he reconciled with his wife. Went from his wifes bed to my neighbors bed, and back to his wife. Buyer beware.

A lot of people still believe that until your divorced...your still married. Maybe a little understanding why some are cautious about getting into a relationship with someone who's still married.

Me, I'll play it safe and listen to what the experts say. History can and will repeat itself. My wants have bitten me in the a** more than once!lol

By all means, post and start threads so people can get to know you. Nothing wrong with having friends.

4/24/2008 9:33:09 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 
ladyvirtue52
Redding, CA
age: 52

There is a difference in being "seperated" and "legally seperated". But being seperated and not divorced tends to scare people off due to the high probability that you and your spouse could get back together.
To answer your question, yes...I believe you should be on a dating site if you are seperated. Cant think of a better way to get thru the stress and the pain of ending a relationship other than chatting with others in the same situation.

4/25/2008 6:08:03 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 
rudt2005
Camden, OH
age: 47

YES

4/25/2008 6:32:37 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50

pai many do that here to in the USA

4/25/2008 6:56:15 PMShould a separated person join a site like this? 
nadege
Mahwah, NJ
age: 29

When I was still separated, some men were okay with it and some weren't. So it depends, but in my case it definitely scared some men off. Now that I can tell men I'm divorced and haven't seen my ex since the divorce, it all sounds a lot better.

4/26/2008 12:07:32 AMShould a separated person join a site like this? 

godpop
Howell, MI
age: 50

Thanks for the posts.
I am getting a lot out of them.
godpop