Forums: Dating General Discussion: I'm Scared To Date, Help
4/22/2008 1:29:46 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 

belladella
Gadsden, AL
age: 55

Hi,

For real! I'm finding it hard for me to start dating again. Really scared. How can
I get over this? I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I've been asked but
I make excuses. Anyone eles have this problem?
Thanks for the imput.

Belladella

4/22/2008 1:40:49 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
muffycakes
Chanhassen, MN
age: 26

I am super scared to date because I haven't really done too much of it. I just exchanged number with a guy from here yesterday...we had a two hour phone conversation this evening....I told him before he called me that I am a very shy, nervous girl and he was really cool about it and he teased me a little so that I would feel better...we have a date on sunday but after talking with him on the phone I don't really feel that nervous anymore....just tell the guy how you are feeling...he is probably a little nervous too...don't you think?

4/22/2008 1:59:04 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
venice427
Los Angeles, CA
age: 40

guys get nervous also.....but we usually get past that
pretty quick .....
a couple beers, always seems to relax me a bit...


4/22/2008 2:04:41 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
cowboyhero
Honolulu, HI
age: 60

It's not a problem. You're being safe. Pets are saferer.

4/22/2008 4:56:11 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
barbara1
Reston, VA
age: 52

On your first date, meet him in a public plave in a place you feel safe and drive yourself.Do not let him know where you live until you feel comfortable.

4/22/2008 4:58:57 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
lonesomeloser
Louisville, KY
age: 50

Scared to date..... give me a break...

4/22/2008 5:14:29 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 

bigcityboy
Flint, MI
age: 53

Sometimes in Life we have to take risks....I am a spiritual person so am used to taking risks....always be careful though on where you meet and ask God for guidence.....always meet in public place....

4/22/2008 5:24:46 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 

susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 60

Bella, you closed one door, why not open the other? Don't be scared. Go to a public place, drive your own car, and when leaving make sure he is not following you (happened to me). Make the first "meet and greet" date not more than 2 hours. I know you will have fun because he seems to want to make you comfortable.

My first date is Thursday...yikes! We have taked on the phone and we laugh a lot, but other than that, it will be a "meet and greet". I have no aspirations of future dates until I meet him in person, which is a good thing.

Good luck to both of us!



4/22/2008 6:00:09 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
ladyinparis
Paris, TX
age: 41

You know, I put myself out there and then when I was asked out I almost panicked. I am not shy. I would think to myself, Okay--let's go meet this nice guy, and then the closer it came to the time I started trying to come up with reasons not to go. I realized that I was not ready to jump back on the wagon just yet.
There is no law that says you have to find a spouse and get married as soon as possible. It is never to late, and you can never plan love. Just take it easy and enjoy yourself. Get comfortable with yourself by getting to know yourself. Deal with any insecurities or baggage you may be holding on to from your previous relationship and then when you are ready to date..you will be more apt to make the right date choices--based on what you like or want, and not on what you need right now.
Best of luck to you...you will be just fine.

4/22/2008 6:44:50 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
beatle8375
Barnhart, MO
age: 54

bella, When you are asked out and you are interested,go slow. Meet in a public place, Drive your own car,Best to meet for coffee in a local resturant.Just relax and see how it goes.If you have enough in common you will find yourself relaxing quite soon.I know I did.

4/22/2008 7:16:01 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
honestinlov4u
Abington, PA
age: 60

I have not read the posts...so if this is redundant forgive me for my ignorance.
Bella, I to am very scared about a date on here. I have had some local dates recently, and they went well, but bear in mind I knew them. A NEW date scares me as well. So, what do we do??? First, I will read the posts here. Second, I ...I don't know!!!!
Good luck!! As a lady, I think you have it a bit easier...I am not sure, but if a man asked you out you are one up on me...I have to bite the bullet and ask a lady out...scary. Well, not scary, but chance of rejection is scary. Good luck and simply go for it!!


Edited for spelling which is prob still messed up



[Edited 4/22/2008 7:20:58 AM]

4/22/2008 7:27:45 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
just4fun64
Williamsburg, VA
age: 44

Well you certainly are not alone. Funny you bring up this topic today. I was just thinking how much fun I have responding to emails from this site and how honest I am about who I am and what I want but this morning I started thinking do I really want to meet anyone - am I really ready for this? Panic set in. I seem to do better with my out of state friends than the locals. Most of my fear comes from the fact that I believe that those talking to me are being as honest as I am and the thought of meeting someone and then having everything they said turn out to be just bullshit is pretty scarey. So what do we do? Well I guess we listen to the ones on here who say take it slow and when the time is right I hope we will know it. Good luck to both of us.

4/22/2008 7:32:12 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
blueyedbobbie
Poultney, VT
age: 37

its only natural to be scared; especially if you just got out of a relationship that you thought would last. personally i met one guy after the divorce that ended up being bipolar and not taking meds. scary. Anyway, the best advice i heard on here is to make sure you meet that person in a public place, use your cell number and don't let them know where you live or meet if you have any your children until you are feeling secure about it. it will get easier.

4/22/2008 7:51:19 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 

daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 55

garth brooks has a song called "learning to live again" it's about being nervous and starting to date after being out of dating for a long time. I'ts a great song and makes you realize we're not alone when it comes to starting over and being nervous

4/22/2008 9:50:31 AMI'm Scared To Date, Help 
nevyn
Prattville, AL
age: 65

Meeting someone for the first time is scary. I do think it would help to have a considerable amount of conversation prior to the date. Also, never meet someone new in a place that is not public. Also, if you do take on the challenge then meet the person at the rendezvous place: do not have him come and get you. It may not always be practical, but a short encounter for 'coffee only' is a better plan. You can always change your mind if an offer is made to extend the visit.