heelandtoe2008
Cromwell, CT
age: 45
| Before I had one of my own, I did date women with kids. In most cases, such women seemed better adjusted than those without. It was actually quite good, and helped me decide that I'd be a good Dad.
Growing up with divorced parents, I learned a lot about how those who dated each of my parents felt about pre-existing kids. To put it bluntly, many men and women pretended to like us in the beginning, but showed their true colors later on. We could always tell WAY before either parent could -- they were just too naive.
Women who had or wanted their own kids were not disposed to treat the new man's kids very well. I think they considered us to be in direct competition with their own (born or unborn), or competing for the same resources (affection, time, food, property, etc.). Thus, a good partner for a man with his own kids would probably be a woman who really likes kids but won't have any of her own.
Similarly, but to a lesser extent, many men who wanted their own kids considered the existing kids to be a threat, of sorts. On the other hand, the men could see that a woman who was proven to be a good mother would probably continue to be a good mother to any future kids. I guess it's like looking into the future without a time machine (similar to meeting the woman's mother, but more accurate).
The men and women who don't want kids of their own are another story, and it all depends on their reasons. Obviously, if they don't want kids because they don't like kids, they're not going to make very good parents (even if they accept the compromise in order to win a higher value partner). A single parent with kids must never act desperately or naively, and should always put their kids needs above their own, IMHO. After all, isn't that the single most-important job of parents?
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gar67
Dingla
Nepal
age: 89
| I think I said it best in my profile statement It's absolutely ludicrous to go looking for a 30-40 yr old woman and not expect kids. It may be an issue for the 19-25 yr old bracket though but that's their problem 
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