Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs

4/22/2008 6:58:57 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
angel_whisper Klamath Falls, OR age: 41	Now, before anyone bashes me for posting private conversation on the public board, I have already spoken with the person who put this question to me and gained his permission to post about it on the forums. I would like to get a taste for how you would have reacted to that question, and how you would react to someone trying to change who you are as a person. The conversation follows.... I'm going to "beat around the bush" here for a second. I'm curious to know what sort of person you are in respect to someone making suggestions that you may or may not be appreciative of.???? Specifically....are you the type of person that takes offense when someone tries to express their concern about certain "health" issues....like "smoking" (for instance). If I were to ask you if you'd ever thought about quitting, would you take a defensive posture and tell me that it's none of my "#$#*!@%" business!!!!!! .......Or......... Would you be the person that sees the "sincere concern" being expressed, and respond kindly with words of gratitude? Now remember, this is only a "for instance" to give me some idea of what I might expect from you (at some point in time), should I decide to try and verbalize my concerns about some particular health issue pertaining to you. How's that for "beating around the bush"? My reply: As far as beating around the bush... I think it is very safe to assume that anyone on these boards are pretty much adult. That means that everyone has had ample opportunity to make up their own minds on who they are and what they do in this world. No matter what the situation, we have a conscience and know the pros and cons to any sort of behavior. I have learned a long time ago that you can not change anyone to meet the qualities you are looking for in this life. You can only accept people for what and who they are. You or I can not tell, ask or plead with someone to change...they will only change for themselves IF they choose to change. There are different forms/levels of respect in this life. And to expect someone to accept your ideals and beliefs, without respecting theirs, is not a healthy relationship at all. People are who they are for many different reasons in this world of ours. Things that none of us had any control over, shaped who we are today. If I was on the receiving end of it, I would just say goodbye to the person trying to change me. I happen to like who I am. I have walked a path in this life, that few could have survived. To have someone come along and try and change me....that would be found unacceptable. We were all blessed with the ability to CHOOSE. Why would you want to take that right away from anyone? Controlling and manipulation is within anyone's rights to choose not to be controlled that way. Just my thoughts.
4/22/2008 8:21:55 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
chopperbabe Overland Park, KS age: 47	Answer to the non-smoker: Bye
4/22/2008 8:24:13 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
onelife2live Janesville, WI age: 43	Too Cerebral for me, just be yourself and accept your mate as themselves or move on..
4/22/2008 8:37:32 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
corbinsgaga Wooster, OH age: 47	To answer the smoking question all I have to say is this. I have given up the rest of my "bad" habits and I have thought of quitting. If and when I choose to quit is my decision. If you can't accept that then I have to say bye bye. I will not change who I am or what I stand for or what I believe in for anyone and the life altering things that I've been through the past year have only made me realize those things more
4/23/2008 5:44:26 AM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
angel_whisper Klamath Falls, OR age: 41	Thanks for your replies. It's kind of hard in this dating world we are in now...we are all set in our ways, at our (averaged) age and hooking up with someone who will make us happy on all levels is much harder. Plus we all go into any future relationships with eyes wide open, due to past mistakes.
4/23/2008 6:00:21 AM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
chasdude Charleston, SC age: 49	I'm too tired from reading to answer your question
4/23/2008 6:02:47 AM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
lonesomeloser Louisville, KY age: 49	Sorry but I choose not to breathe your smoke... [Edited 4/23/2008 6:03:03 AM]
4/23/2008 7:19:20 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
dunitall Buckley, WA age: 44	Hey folks I know this gal! and if you did to, You'd like her just the way she is!...So i say to all those who would like to get to know her, should except her as is, thats great, but if you try and change her, then she's not what your looking for,she'll change if and when she wants...Smile baby! your fine the way you are!
4/23/2008 7:51:19 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
angel_whisper Klamath Falls, OR age: 41	Awwwwwwwwww, punkin Dun....I lurves you buddy! Thank you.
4/23/2008 8:04:18 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
me4aminute_1 Rutland, IA age: 35	I don't think anyone should have to change who they are unless they themselves think it is a change for the better for them self. I find that we all have to change at times........I personally have found myself changing to feel excepted here on DH. That isn't a great feeling. So, my advice is this...........be you, love you, and the right person will love you for that very thing........the real you.
4/23/2008 8:10:21 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
dunitall Buckley, WA age: 44	words to live by!...Good job "me"
4/23/2008 8:27:55 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
angel_whisper Klamath Falls, OR age: 41	My sentiments exactly 'me'. I don't plan on making any changes, except for the ones I want. And, I guess if Dun likes and respects me...I must be an ok lady. He's a good guy that man.
4/23/2008 8:44:08 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
lifetimeskier Olympia, WA age: 47	yep if dun it all likes ya i like ya...he is one super man.
4/23/2008 9:04:47 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
angel_whisper Klamath Falls, OR age: 41	Thank you 'Life'....that is a very nice thing to say.
4/24/2008 5:02:27 PM	Would like some member input...Changing People to fit your needs
susie_seashore Daytona Beach, FL age: 51	Hi, angel IMO we are who we are, and we all know from our past experiences there's no use trying to develop a relationship with someone who is planning on changing the other person. It AIN'T gonna happen. Just be yourself and that's what I gotta say about that.