singleflower
El Paso, TX
age: 31
|  I'm a single parent of a 12yr. old I don't introduce hime to anyone I date until I know it's a more serious relationship. My son is very caring and think he would get attached and then like you all mentioned If the relationship did not work, would have to explain why he's not coming over. He knows I go out on dates but that's all he needs to know....
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irparis39
New York, NY
age: 49
| Now let me give you the child's perspective.
My mother died when my brother and I were 15/17. My dad was 12 years older than my mom and at this point this was his 2nd wife. When his ex first wife died, she and he had a son who was 15, I was 8 years younger, my mother refused to take him in after his mother died and they ended up putting him in foster care until he was 18 and then he came to live with us.
My mother (a woman who should not have had kids to begin with) was so awful to him. I think she was one of the contributing factors to him getting involve with drugs later.
After my mother died, my father refused to bring in any other woman in the house, he went out, did his thing but never brought them home and we never ever saw whatever woman he was dating, come out of his/my mother's bedroom in the morning and sit down to breakfast. One is, he had alot respect for me and considered me the woman of the house and two, although we were not badly behaved teens (my father would have none of that), he did not want any woman coming in and telling us what to do and three...he let us learn the mannerism/attitudes/integrity of courtship and marriage without him putting a bad spin on it or a worldly example. I think this also went way back to when his father passed and his mother remarried a not-so-nice man who used to beat him.
My father was my best friend, I don't understand all the dating rules these days and I dont' want to much, but I admire this man who gave up his needs to give us the opportunity to first grow up and learn how the world works and how to deal with it. Although after a few years we would encourage my dad to date and re-marry, but I think watching the conditions under which my older brother had to deal with and his mother cowardness left him with a very bad taste in his mouth and very strong memories and he never remarried for the next 20 years (he was 50 when my mother passed and 70 when he died). Now that's self control, or a very deep love that came first for his children before anyone else.
Paris
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freeatlast46
Nutley, NJ
age: 48
| All you dad's out there think it's ok to let the kids meet all your girl friends ....wrong what do you think you are doing to these poor kids???? They just lost their mom and dad and now you hook up with some lady that will be gone in a few weeks because all you men think if a lady gives a little att. to you they love you wrong again. Give the kids a break keep you personal life just that the kids don't need to know about the girl friends and boy friends for at least a year you guys take a class on how not to mess up your kids
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daretobreal
New York, NY
age: 89
| Dont do that to your kids.....think of the example you are setting for them, meeting many strangers????? When you feel comfortable and know that the relationship is going somewhere and that there is a possible future with this person then you introduce her to the children not before.
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freeatlast46
Nutley, NJ
age: 48
| I agree leave the kids out of it as long as possible
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barbara1
Reston, VA
age: 52
| give him alittle more time.I, know, myself, I do not involve my children in dating until i am serious about someone and have known them awhile.
Too confusing for the kids!
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honestinlov4u
Abington, PA
age: 60
| Honestly, I did NOT read the opinions posted, BUT I am in the same dilemma. I have two young'uns and I have decided that I would tell the lady up front. I would show some pics if she wouldn't get bored and if that would bore her there is a red flag. I would NOT allow her to meet them until we were in a serious relationship. That way there is a minimum of damage done if the relationship doesn't work out.
I base the above on three experiences in real life. Two ladies I met and "went with" for a while, introduced me to their children to soon. When we did split both children missed me. One missed me so bad that the lady asked me to just visit and chat with him for a while, so we would meet a bit on a saturday morning and take him to a local lake here. The visits were every Sat. than every other and finally once a month than none. We weaned him.
The other lady just made her daughter deal with it, a bit harsh for a baby (3 yrs old)but I guess it worked.
My EX on the other hand and I agreed not to let that happen. We put off him meeting me till we were engaged. That worked out well.
Hope this is of some help, I don't go into the dictionary to find all sorts of facts, at my age experience = wisdom. I base my responses on life experiences. JMHO
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pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 50
| NEVER introduce her to your kids unless you are absolutely sure you want a long term relationship with her. Why should they go through the heartache when it ends????? Spare them that pain.
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