| 4/25/2008 10:25:34 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | 
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| The woman I met through DH and I have decided, on friendly terms, to stop dating.
Our communication styles were just too different.
I wish her well, and will want to date again soon (we only dated a month, so I am far more disappointed than devastated), but not right away. It is said that it takes half as long as a relationship lasted for it to truly be ended.
This weekend, I am flying to Seattle to see my kids.
My profile is public again, for those that are curious, and I welcome friendly email, but likely won't want to date until at least May. I like the fora here.
[Edited 4/25/2008 10:26:19 AM]
| | 4/25/2008 10:32:33 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | 
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 42 online now!
| Condolences to you and her. And Mr. Virgo there is no set term limit to the end. I wanna see a source sited 
| | 4/25/2008 10:47:21 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | muffycakes
Chanhassen, MN
age: 26
| I look at experiences like yours as good practice. Even though it didn't work you at least got an opportunity to meet a good woman...best of luck to ya oldschool.
| | 4/25/2008 10:51:07 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | 
tahoefreak64
South Lake Tahoe, CA
age: 44
| sorry thing didnt work out for you oldschool,but as my father told me "too many fish in the sea"Better luck next time
| | 4/25/2008 10:55:00 AM | Was a nice month, but... | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| Well, ge0ge0, it is heresay: I've heard the "half as long" figure from a close friend, and it seems to fit, at least for short relationships.
We recognized signs of incompatibility early on and just needed to find out if they were deal-makers or deal-breakers.
I will cherish the time we spent together, but am happier that it was brief and ended on a note of disappointment rather than projecting an illusion of a desired relationship on the realities of an existing one, and having it end in misery after much time spent.
I suppose that some would be shocked that I chose to be exclusive from the first kiss (we both did, actually) -- many would date several, even with (protected) intimacy until they became "serious" with one. But, I can't do that: I don't view romance and intimacy as recreation. If I think someone might be a potential life-time partner, I concentrate on them until I see that they are clearly not.
Some might have advised to keep it going until a BBD (bigger, better, deal) comes along, and if the goal were a regular sexual relationship, that would be an effective strategy. But, that is neither my goal, nor style. It's pretty damn cruel, too, IMHO.
There is always a BBD, in some regard: more attractive, closer, more in common, etc. But, evaluating the "whole package" takes time and effort, and if one has "a package" one likes, why seek to change only to find that one was blinded by the obvious, and blind to the subtle?
She was a damn great kisser, though!
| | 4/25/2008 10:56:01 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | blueyedbobbie
Poultney, VT
age: 37
| at least you gave it a shot and that is what is important.
| | 4/25/2008 11:02:50 AM | Was a nice month, but... | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| Thanks all. A month is a short time, and I'm certainly not devastated over it.
I've seen a lot of (mostly) women post how they've "just met" someone wonderful, give their heart, soul, and body to them very quickly, and then regret it when it fails in a short period of time. The lesson that I want to share is that it takes time to see if a couple are truly compatible.
I am glad that I exercized restraint in the physical aspects of the relationship, while still managing to keep both of us happy in that regard, during the interval we were together. I don't believe in the "well, you split up, but at least you 'got some'" theory.
| | 4/25/2008 11:04:42 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | muffycakes
Chanhassen, MN
age: 26
| "If I think someone might be a potential life-time partner, I concentrate on them until I see that they are clearly not."
I think that this is a great attitude to have, I follow this philosophy too.
| | 4/25/2008 11:05:01 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | 
nicksterdemus
Little Rock, AR
age: 51
| "have decided, on friendly terms, to stop dating"
That's been obvious enough for a few days and now it's official.
Nuttin' ventured nuttin' gained...
Now the timeless art of seduction dance begins anew.
On the + side you're familiar w/the steps.
Find a conga line n jump in to the beat.
| | 4/25/2008 11:16:23 AM | Was a nice month, but... | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| "If I think someone might be a potential life-time partner, I concentrate on them until I see that they are clearly not."
I think that this is a great attitude to have, I follow this philosophy too.
The only "problem" with it is that one takes the "serial monogamy" approach to the extreme of "serial dating", which severely limits how many people one can date, and, perhaps, lessens their chances of meeting "the one" by sheer effect of limiting numbers.
Still, I prefer it. I seek quality in my relationships not quantity in their number.
Some here would be shocked at how few women I've kissed in my life.
| | 4/25/2008 11:20:16 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | muffycakes
Chanhassen, MN
age: 26
| so very true oldschool, nevertheless, i barely even have enough time to date one let alone a few. Hopefully, by giving one a chance i wont let the "right" one slip through my fingers 
| | 4/25/2008 11:28:17 AM | Was a nice month, but... | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| There's always "enough" time. When you have a place in someone's heart, you are "with" them even when you are apart, you feel this, and whatever time you can spend physically together, is a "bonus".
Emotionally healthy people are not "lonely" when they are alone. Neither are they "lonely" when their partner is busy, or distant.
Only people who view physical intimacy as recreation have this problem. I've found such relationships really are FWB, with out the "friend" part being all that strong: "friends" don't stray, but frustrated "lovers" do.
| | 4/25/2008 11:29:24 AM | Was a nice month, but... | | 
evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35
| Just my penis is lonely.
| | 4/25/2008 11:30:55 AM | Was a nice month, but... | |
oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
| Naw, Eddy. I'm sure your right hand is always close by and ready to please...
| | 4/25/2008 11:34:21 AM | Was a nice month, but... | |
evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35
| You'd think so.. but no... my right hand wants to drive the mouse.. while my devil's paw drives the keyboard.
|
|