| 4/27/2008 4:55:13 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | | 
zeanah
Clarion, PA
age: 49
| I am a rather new proud Navy Mom and need some info or advise. My 20 year old son just graduated boot camp in Illinois and is now training there to be a Medical Corpman. They told him , it would be likely, he will train with the Marines and be a medic for the Marines in Iraq.
He is good to his Mama and I know he is being selective in what he tells me...I can just tell, I'm his Mama. I am not sure what to expect??? What he will be doing and how much danger he may be in. The real shock was that he said he would be eager to go to Iraq and do his job. I guess he became a man in Boot camp.
I miss him terribly and I am quite worried for him. Should I know the details or should I just keep my head in the sand? My heart is absolutely in turmoil. I know I have to get a grip and accept this, support him and not let him know my fears. Maybe it is best I not know everything? I want to be strong for him. I miss him , worry and cry when alone so no one will tell him. He doesn't need me whining and causing him guilt. As a single Mom, I was always strong for him all these years and now, I am having trouble being as strong as I should be.
I watched my mother suffer when my 19 yr old brother was in Vietnam. I was in 3rd grade at the time. I would come home from school and either hear my mother crying in her bedroom or see swollen eyes when I came home. I remember watching her heart break when he got on the plane to go to Vietnam. When the mailman came, it was a true event rushing to find a letter from him. I have vivid memories of the worry and anxiety in my home during those times. I had nightmares from the TV news reports...waking up screaming with my mother at my side trying to calm me.I did't truly understand, but it was a memory I will never forget.Thank God my brother came home, as not one of his close buddies did. You see, this experience has impacted my dealing with my son now serving. Do I sound weird or pathetic?
I thought I would put my fear into being productive, by adopting a soldier and corresponding to those who need some back home support.Zero my mind in on being there for him and his fellow Navy/Marines he will serve with.
So...advise? Do I stay naive and not know? Should I know so as to not be surprised if a bad situation arises while he is serving? Any advise would be appreciated.
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| 4/27/2008 6:16:51 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
striker29527
London, KY
age: 46
| You have already taken the biggest step where your son is concerned. That, is by accepting the fact that he's a man, and has chosen a path in life.
Talking with your son is the first step you need to take now. Just tell him the truth is what you would like from him. I am not saying the young man is lying, he is just holding some things back. You just remind him of how tough you are, tell him his birthing story with details. That will remind him!
My opinion here - you should know the truth about every thing that he does and that could happen. You are a very brave woman. As such you deserve the truth.
The events in your youth are what shaped you into the woman you are now. A VERY brave one! Bravery isn't doing something out of fear, but doing something despite of fear!
By all means, support him and his fellow Navy/Marine buddies, and adopt any of our soldiers or airmen/women that you are inclined to! Creator knows they would appreciate it!
Just be honest and show him the strength you have within, he will draw from and return it to you 10 fold.
My prayers are with you and all other military parents, because my parents were there for me when I was in.
Robert
[Edited 4/27/2008 7:31:57 AM]
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| 4/27/2008 6:21:38 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 47
| Striker, I read this post earlier and was at a loss as what to say. You stated it perfectly! Thanks, Mike
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| 4/27/2008 6:49:36 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
lonesoldier
Eupora, MS
age: 66
| Right on stryker.
Mom, your son will not tell you everything as he knows you and knows you will think of all kinds of things he may or may not be in. As a nam veteran of 2 1/2 yrs, I know my mom went thru the same as yours, and the same as you will. Have faith that he received the best training that he could have, and that all servicemen, active and retired, take care of their own, including mom's. We will give any kind of support needed, all you have to do is ask. Be confident that he is protected by those around him and from above.
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| 4/27/2008 8:33:12 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
zeanah
Clarion, PA
age: 49
| Thank you for your words of support and advise. Wow...this Military Mom thing is tough.
Striker, my son had a little bit of manly attitude when I was with him after boot. I never allowed any of my kids to mouth me or get snippy. I told him "Listen here you little shit, I am your mother and I don't care how the military made you, I will still kick your little boy ass!" He just looked at me and smiled because he knows I mean it or at least I'd try.
So... you are right. I will be as strong as I have been in the past.I really do not have a choice. I guess I am just green at this and some insight will help. It is comforting to have those who understand around to talk to. Makes a world of difference!
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| 4/27/2008 8:38:39 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
striker29527
London, KY
age: 46
| If he is half the man that I think he is, he will stand there and take the "butt kicking" and do it with a smile. Because he will know it was done out of love! Besides that, I'm fairly sure he knows that you are THE best friend he will ever have in his life!!!!
If I'm 90 years old and my Mom tells me to go cut a switch for a whipping? I'll bring her a 2X4!!
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| 4/27/2008 9:17:09 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
red61
Denver, CO
age: 61
| Zeanah,
Just know that there are family here who are more than happy to help you. I think I can speak for everyone in saying we are here if you need someone to talk to. My mom had 4 sons, a son-in-law and myself in Viet Nam at the same time. Bless her heart she was terrific. She wrote us and sent pkgs to us every week. Always sent extra for the others. She, like you, was a strong woman and I can say that was a great help to me while I was there. I had her unconditional love and support. She too was honest about her feelings and I respected that. I in turn was honest with her ahthough sometimes I did not and just could not tell her everything.
When I became a mother I realized what it took for her to send us. Only then did I understand how fortunate I was to have her for my mom.
Remember, we are here.
Vicky
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| 4/27/2008 9:30:19 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
veteran61
Farmington, IL
age: 47
| Zeanah, I wish you the best of luck, and to your warrior son, Godspeed. We are here whenever you want to talk. Mike
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| 4/27/2008 9:50:24 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
zeanah
Clarion, PA
age: 49
| Thank you Red, Lone, Veteran and Striker...from my heart to yours!
I CANNOT imagine how strong your Mother was Red! I feel like a wimp now! What a woman she was! I can see where you got your kindness and heart.
I will lean on these forums to help. I hope I can also be of help to anyone.
God Bless your Hearts!
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| 4/27/2008 10:26:30 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
red61
Denver, CO
age: 61
| You have helped by coming to this group. You should not feel like a wimp. You have a tough job ahead of you and I know you will be that strong compassionate mom. Kind heart? Shhh don't ruin my reputation here. lol
Red
BTW, you have a smart son. He knew which branch to join.
[Edited 4/27/2008 10:33:03 AM]
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| 4/27/2008 10:35:43 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
lovearmy
Warsaw, MO
age: 38
| stiker u r so right.
maam i am in the army and been in for 17 years.my hat of to ur son for join our arm forces.
i am a returning wound soilder from iraq.like strick said u need to know everything that is going on with ur son.sometime he will not be able to tell u everything thats the militey.but if u ever need to talk just e.mail me and i would be more then happy to talk to u.
u r in here with a get bunch of vets tat has been helping me and supporting me since i started comeing here.they all have really good advice.
lovearmy
todd
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| 4/28/2008 12:31:15 PM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
ru2timid
Rockford, IL
age: 47
| Zeanah,
My brothers and sisters above me have spoken most of my thoughts.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
As a Marine, I'm sure your son will be fine. As a mom, I am sure you will be too. It sounds to me like you have done an exempliary job raising your son. Mama, our jobs as parents never quit, the cicumstances change. Love and support never stop, just the ways we can show it due to their needs. Do not stick your head in the sand, it's very unbecoming. Respect your needs as well as his and compromise. Just as we have tempered our imparting knowlege on our children, they in turn become masters at the skill. It is just that way, and deep down inside you know it is for the better. You will find a balance. The surge of feelings you are going through must be overbearing at times. It's natural and hopefully you have some support from family and friends in your area. However, Welcome again, feel free to drop me an email any time, and I am pleased to see you found the Families and non Military supporters thread as well. They are all terrific people. (Except for the occasional troll).
Timid
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| 4/28/2008 2:10:01 PM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
huskertomboy
Hiawatha, KS
age: 51
| Zeanah,from one mother to another. My son is currently serving in Afghanistan. This is his third deployment.. the first 2 in Iraq. I completely understand your worries. I have been doing it for four years. But i also know that I raised a fine young man who has his mothers inner strength and character. I cannot begin to understand what he has seen or has had to do but he has my love and support.
Although his soul and body is scarred I take comfort in knowing that he has a band of brothers who are watching out for him like he is for them.And I also know that when he is ready to talk he will. We raise them with love and send them out into the world with love. A mothers love is one of the strongest there is. He knows this as does my son. Be strong,be proud. Keep yourself busy. My thoughts are with you. If you ever feel the need to talk I have big shoulders. Take care...
Linda
[Edited 4/28/2008 2:11:47 PM]
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| 4/28/2008 3:40:51 PM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
zeanah
Clarion, PA
age: 49
| You have all been so kind and helpful...Thank you so much. I believe in support from those who understand. I may call on one of you at some time to calm my heart down. It is comforting to know,I have that backup to help me deal with this. I am not one to accept help very easily, as I have been a single Mom for many years. Pride and my independence will have to take a back seat for now. Geez!...I never knew I could cry this much. Not having a strong shoulder to lean on is tough too. I have to go this alone, as I am sure some of you already have.
I want to be positive and strong for Blake. If you only knew how good of a boy/man he is and he has never given me an ounce of trouble. He was very athletic and had good grades in high school, then tried college for a year and hated it.The day he told me of his decision, I thought he would never go through with it. Boy...he surprised me! Once he started the process, he never looked back or questioned his desire to be a Navy Medic.
At some point, I will tell him about all of you and how you have helped me. I am sure he will feel less stress in his heart for me, knowing I am standing with his fellow Veterans and other Military Mom's.
If any of you need anything, to talk or help of any sort, I am here. Again...thank you and God Bless you all!
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| 5/2/2008 3:41:38 AM | Rookie Navy Mom...Need Advise &[blocked site]! | |
newlady2
Goldsboro, NC
age: 71
| zeanah..Hello.. I have been military affiliated most of my life ..and wouldn't change it for the world..We can be a stubborn lot but we usually do or dont do things with pride..Thats what your son will do. Keep the faith .. 
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