| 4/28/2008 4:05:55 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
ger5
Kalamazoo, MI
age: 57
| Could everyone who has gone through this and has some advice could you help me out, I want so much to be with someone, but this has always been the wall I cannot seem to break. I'm sure this is probably where I have had this fear and am afraid to let go, I will read all responds, thanks all so much.
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| 4/28/2008 4:10:41 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
| trust is something earned over time. what you do is not believe so much from what someone is telling you - take that for food for thought, but more importantly watch their actions and whether or not they can keep their promises.
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| 4/28/2008 4:10:55 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
abeenorml
New Underwood, SD
age: 43
| In my case I am the one with the unpenetrable (sp?) wall......it has been a very long time since I allowed anyone to really get me. Not sure how to change it, but it certainly pisses some males off. I am working on figuring how why I cannot get past the past and just live...maybe soon. I think it is mainly up to the person to allow you in, not for you to force a way through it. I guess my advice would be to be patient and tolerant, but not so much that you waste your life waiting for a break. Helpful? I hope.
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| 4/28/2008 4:12:36 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
fryyyy
North Kingstown, RI
age: 49
| I felt worried about this too right after my divorce. I gave it some thought tho.. and i concluded.. that it's not MEN vs WOMEN.. it's individuals. you were an individual and your x was an individual.. and that combination didn't work out. Well if you change out you.. or your x.. you have a new combination.. you have to take everyone on a case by case.. individual basis.. each person is different. I don't think it's US VS THEM.
Do you trust a stranger you meet on the street? Well they are human.. so you can probably trust them to some degree.. Can you trust a casual acquaintance or a fellow employee? again some trust there.. maybe more than a random unknown person on the street... can you trust a friend? well .. ya probably a lot more than the prior examples.. it all just ratchets up a notch.. the closer they are to you in your life. Trust takes time. So don't worry too much that you dont have much trust initially.. that's ok.. but.. you have to trust somewhat.. and you have to allow room and time for trust/friendship to grow.
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| 4/28/2008 4:53:06 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 45
| I have huge trust issues and walls and each "bad" dating situation teaches me to make them thicker and higher against the next time...
Totally tired of the "bad" and totally beyond ready for the "good"
but you know when the walls are so damn high and thick
nothing gets in and nothing gets out,
except maybe mold and fungus?
You have to be really determined to allow someone to be who you trust - but I think all of that has to do with the amount of time and experience you allow the relationship to grow within.
Growth can't be rushed.
Anyone with children knows this.
It goes quickly - but you can't wish for it to move along...it just happenes.
I hope that trust and love occur this way also - if you allow it to?
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| 4/28/2008 5:10:39 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
tomcatseeker
Mason, OH
age: 45
| Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. I have also been drawn into situations fully trusting and giving of myself and got burned. People are all full of surprises good and bad. Be mind full of your own instincts, trust them, they are yours. Don't ignore them. When Mr. Right comes, your instincts will tell you it's all good. Hope it is real soon.
Sandy
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| 4/28/2008 5:31:53 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
tusko
Evansville, IN
age: 56
| You DON'T worry about it.........everyone has trouble trusting again, believe me, but for some reason someone comes along and the trust issue while still in your mind, but, with this seemingly right person you sort of let them in..........keeping the trust issue in the back of your mind at the same time, you have to keep it there to maintain yourself, but DO NOT wear it on your sleeve or it will totally screw your mind up, this new person probably will do some things that could remind you of the "issues" but be aware that perhaps you are putting more on the past than the future and you must not let the past cloud the present. You could ruin a good thing ya know............trust comes with the right person just dont let it eat away at ya............and always remember when things get crappy...."You can never fall out of a well !!!
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| 4/28/2008 5:38:37 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
dar3407
Glen Burnie, MD
age: 50
| hey tusko, Amen, I don't think anyone could have said it any better!! My hats off to you!!!!!
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| 4/28/2008 6:16:13 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
barbara1
Reston, VA
age: 51
| I am still working on that one.
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| 4/28/2008 7:43:15 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
freebirdie45
Portland, OR
age: 35
| I do not trust until they have given me reason to trust them.
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| 4/28/2008 8:03:42 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
nab5055
Medford, NJ
age: 43
| I trust too easily and end up on the hurt end of the deal........... I am getting better. Lessons learned!
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| 4/28/2008 8:15:54 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 45
| Baby steps. Slowly and methodically working towards your goals.
We build walls to protect us from heartache, yet the heart aches to love again. At some point one needs to realize the yearning in their heart and tear down those walls that keep one from realizing true love again.
Tear down the walls that bind you from the realization of true happiness. Take that chance and live life again.
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| 4/28/2008 8:30:46 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
firewoodcutter
Hardin, TX
age: 48
| I tend to trust until proven otherwise. But thats just me.Every relationship deserves a fair chance.
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| 4/28/2008 8:50:57 PM | How to learn to trust again | |
waitingonfate
Trenton, FL
age: 39
| Here are some phrases that keep me going. I am far from a guru, but ... maybe they will help you too.
1.) Trust yourself first. "To thine own self be true"
2.) Treat others as you would want them to treat you- how does it make you feel when someone doesn't trust you right off the bat?
3.) Hind sight is always 20/20.
4.) Ignorance is Bliss (loving without fear) but ignorance cannot be attained again once you have overcome it- so embrace your knowledge and make it work for you- not against you. This reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe's "Nevermore"
5.) Remember that the rainbow usually comes out--- after the rain.
6.) Hail will sometimes put dings in your car and may even bust your windshield so you can hardly see-- but it shouldn't keep your car from running.
7.) Remember that some people are in our lives for only a season- and never without a reason. The purpose of their presence is not unimportant... in fact, sometimes their purpose is so important that we cannot afford to miss it- but we are so impacted by them we fail to see the true message God is trying to send us through them. And so goes the circle... back to trusting yourself first. We cannot be comfortable with anyone else if we are not comfortable with ourselves.
Good Luck Sweetie-
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| 4/29/2008 7:30:08 AM | How to learn to trust again | |
darbie59
Whitby, ON
age: 48
| TRUST::::: I have issues when it comes to trust. I dont think anyone is trust worthy. My first husband 9 months into marrage, 3 months pregnant with difficultys, I trusted my husband while he was sleeping with his brothers wife.
TRUST:::: My second husband says he didnt want to smoke in the house around the babies or me. So he would go to the coffee shop. Only to find that the coffee ship was another womans house. Why I wanted him to work she didnt.
Trust:::: How many people here trusted there partner and got duped.
We are told you have to get over it and move on. I have been told by many that I turst to easly, perhaps so.
How many men trusted their wives and while they were at work the wife was with there best buddy.
How many promises have you broken with your children, even ones you couldnt help. I have been told my many men to never trust men. Why would they say that if it were not true. I know many woman also that cannot be trusted. And its not just with sex, confidential information etc. So to emplisetly (sp) turst dont think so.
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